“Well, that was horribly dull,” Anwyn teased. “Though vaguely charming.” She turned over then, facing Gideon, and slid into his arms, tracing his jawline. I’m hungry again.
He nodded, pulled her closer. As his hand cupped the back of her head, he tilted his throat up, his eyes closing. It was such a simple, generous offering, particularly when she could feel how his emotions were bludgeoning him, his heart hurting. It made her own heart contract. So she whispered her lips over his throat, kissing him gently now, stroking her hand down his broad shoulder, nuzzling the fine chest hair across his pectorals, tracing that crimson trinity mark.
You take such good care of me, Gideon. You know that, right? You’re going to be all right.
I’m here. We’re here.
The words weren"t planned, but she answered the aching in his soul with nurturing, at odds with her normal demands. But his personal anguish, hidden so deep inside him it didn"t even show in his face, was old and ongoing, a dark, murky river that no one but her might have ever beheld.
His arm tightened around her, his eyes not opening as she put her fangs over the spot that still showed a faint impression from her last feeding.
Will it become a permanent mark? She liked the idea. The third mark had possessed a thrill of its own, but one she"d purposely inflicted would have its own pleasures, a possessive need she well understood. For all the submissives she"d mastered, she"d never had a slave fully give himself to her, all of it. It had always been contained within the club walls. Though Gideon was far from reaching that point, something about the way he offered himself to her now revived that wistful, adult-child dream.
In time, a permanent scar will remain at the places you bite, because they are wounds marked so often with your own saliva. Wounds marked with your own blood will also remain scars on him.
As he answered her question, Daegan felt tenderness for them both. He saw the thoughts in her mind, deduced Gideon"s state of mind from them. When Daegan spread her hair over her shoulders, caressing pale skin, strands fell into Gideon"s open palm. He held her close with the one arm, but his wrist was loose as she drank deep, limp fingers brushing the small of her back.
Stroking Anwyn"s sable locks, Daegan let the motion cross Gideon"s knuckles, a relaxed, inclusive caress. As he reversed direction to do it again, Gideon"s fingers unexpectedly curled around his wrist.
The blue eyes opened, looking over Anwyn"s head at him. Daegan held the gaze, allowing the restraint, wondering if Gideon had intended it as a warning. His strong hand held Daegan"s wrist as if he needed the connection between them. Though there was confusion in Gideon"s expression, it was a book Daegan could read well enough.
If he"d fucked Gideon merely out of detached logic, his stated rationalization to acclimate Gideon to what he might face at the Council, then this moment might not be so significant.
Even with the hot, raw desire they"d experienced, Gideon might have been merely pissed or rationalized it himself as he had in the past, just too many damn pheromones in the air.
But Daegan had led with his anger, made it clear he"d not taken kindly to what Anwyn had clearly seen for some time. He didn"t know how he"d missed it, but then, he wasn"t in the male"s head.
Even so, he hadn"t entirely expected the way Gideon responded, then or now. There was something deeper in his tormented gaze, something that affected Daegan unexpectedly. As he recognized it, he was the one who decided to pull away, but Gideon beat him to it. The man released him, closed his eyes. As Anwyn continued to drink, Gideon pulled her even closer, seeking a reassurance Daegan knew might elude him. The truth could be a bitch to outrun, and the truth was Gideon already wanted them both again.
Though the vampire hunter would get no comfort from knowing it, Daegan knew the feeling was entirely mutual.
10
ANWYN had told Gideon that Daegan was an incredibly light sleeper, to the point that if she so much as shifted a hand across a pillow when they lay together, he would wake. So she wasn"t surprised to feel his attention as she slid out of the bed.
Before she"d become a vampire, every once in a while on one of her days off, if Daegan was traveling, she"d sleep in the top apartment, the one that had a full wall of windows overlooking the streets below. They were east-facing, so she could watch the sunrise. Since she worked late nights, it had been rare for her to leave the shades open so that newborn sunlight could kiss her awake, but she"d had the choice. She"d never realized the human compulsion to move to a window when in deep thought, as if looking out into a world bigger than oneself would help to balance the troubled waters of her thoughts, but she"d circled the room twice restlessly before she realized that was what she was seeking.Daegan slid out of the bed, brought her his robe, a heavy terry cloth that came down to her calves, and slid on the drawstring gi pants he"d been wearing earlier. As he freed her hair from the collar, she looked up at his face, the planes she could see so clearly, even though the room was almost pitch-dark. A trio of candles burned on the dresser. She"d slept some herself, so she didn"t know which of them had done that, but she suspected Gideon, who knew that she liked candlelight. He did the small things, because he thought he had nothing more significant to offer to her. Never realizing how large a part of her life he"d become in such a short time. A frighteningly large part.
“Come with me,” Daegan murmured. He guided her out into the main room. Gideon had moved, of course, was sleeping on the couch. He"d tugged on a pair of worn boxers, frayed at the hem, and a hole or two along the thigh. She made a mental note to get him some new underwear, though she didn"t mind him going without. Pausing at the couch, she touched his brow.
He knew her touch in his sleep, didn"t react defensively. His eyes opened sleepily and she bent down, brushed his lips. “We"re going up top a few minutes,” she whispered. “Don"t worry. Sleep.”
He gazed at her, nodded, eyes drifting closed again, though his large hand curled around her wrist, held an extra moment. When Daegan loosened his grip so she could slide away, the vampire tousled the man"s hair with brief affection. Gideon rolled over, grunting, and slapped the hand away, burrowing face-first into the sofa again.
Anwyn gave Daegan a smile and let herself be led to the elevator. “How did you know where we were going?” she whispered.
“Sometimes I dip a toe into your mind, so to speak.” He gave her a sidelong glance as he pressed the top floor button. “Forgive me, cher.”
“I think you already knew without doing that. You"re just trying to make me believe you don"t know me as well as you do.”
“Hmm.”
She leaned into him, enjoying the comfort of his solid body and his strong arm until the elevator reached the top level. Like her basement dwelling, it was coded for entry. The cleaning staff was taken up and supervised by James once a week, but of course she hadn"t been up here since the night in the alley. The curtains were open, showing the panorama of the city, the jeweled lights a more dense reflection of the stars in the night sky. It was Sunday night, so Atlantis was quiet, no movement or vibrating music from the dance floor below.
She went to the sliding glass door in the living area and stepped out into her rooftop garden.
It was mostly an artful assortment of potted plants and trees, garden statuary and benches, unique pieces she"d added now and then. There were three or four beds of perennials and some rose-bushes. None was in bloom right now, but in summer they were rich colors of yellow and red. She sank down on a bench, gazed up at the stars. “I guess we should have invited Gideon to come up here with us. This is too beautiful a view to hoard all to ourselves.” Just as she"d thought, the ability to breathe in fresh air, feel the enormity of the sky and earth revolving above and below her, helped free some of the tightness of her chest.
“But he"s the one that"s troubling you. You needed to come up here to think about him, talk about him. About him going to the Council.”
“A know-it-all can be a very annoying thing.” But she tempered the words with a sad smile as he straddled the bench behind her, letting her lean into the cradle of his body. She hooked her legs over one of his thighs, the other braced against her buttocks. “You remember that night before you left? You said no male had ever convinced me that I could rely on him to be there, no matter the circumstance. Except maybe James.”
“I remember.”
“James is widowed. Still as in love with his wife as the day they met. They were pure vanilla, the homemade, best kind. He visits her grave every week. Other than that, it"s cable sports, workouts in the park with his dog, and his job here. He"s one of those tough, no-nonsense males, made up of simple pleasures.”
“A fortunate man, in some ways.”
She nodded, pushing against his chest and accepting a boost over his leg to rise. Once there, she paced to the edge of the roof, leaned against the railing. “If things had been different for Gideon, I think he might have had that kind of life.” She sighed, looked down at her hands.
“The way you always described vampires and how they treated their servants, it was as if you were reading from an erotic novel, to arouse me and please us both. I never thought of the reality of it. I liked the way there was no choice given, that the servant followed the will of the Master or Mistress when he or she wanted the slave publicly displayed, shared, participating in sexual games. They were stories.”
As he came to stand by her, she continued to stare out at the city. “That"s going to be my reality, and the reality of being my servant. He can"t do that. We both know it. I wouldn"t ask him, let alone order him, to do it. He came to help me”—her throat thickened—“and I"ve pulled him under, into a world he despises. I"ve got to let him go. Before I completely lose who I was, the person who knows that truly forcing someone against their will is wrong.”
“Letting him go is more complex than that, cher. Plus, it"s not the real reason you"re contemplating releasing him. It hurts you, the way he continues to distrust us, the way he feels about vampires. You are despairing that he"ll ever change, that he"ll always hate what you"ve become.”