“Well, I did kill someone.”
“In self-defense.”
“But I wanted to kill him. I wanted to make him pay for hurting that girl and trying to hurt me” The truth is almost too much. “I think I might be like my father. I think killing came too naturally.”
“No, I don’t believe that at all. You’re nothing like your father. At all. You’re good and sweet and pure. You just haven’t had a chance to be that person yet.”
“I tried… When I came to Laramie, I was trying to be that person, but my old life followed me.” The madness I ran from chased me down and seized hold of me again.
Ryler’s lips part, but the vibration of a phone cuts him off. He offers me an apologetic look before reaching into his boot and retrieving his phone. His fingers move across the buttons, the screen illuminating through the darkness. It’s just enough light to give me a glimpse of who he’s texting.
My father.
I focus on the rain falling from the sky and drizzling down the windshield.
Truth and trust, they coincide. I’ve put a lot of trust in Ryler, spilled secrets people would kill me for.
Either it’ll eventually set me free—he’ll set me free.
Or it’ll end up killing me
In the end, the choice is his.
Chapter 14
Deeper into the Rabbit Hole I Sink
Emery
We make the rest of the short drive to Evan’s house in silence. Ryler doesn’t tell me what my father texted him about, nor does he continue trying to get me to open up to him. He seems rather agitated, distracted, and remorseful. It has me concerned that perhaps he realized what a huge mistake it was prying me open like that.
Doesn’t matter. What’s done is done. And now I have to pay.
My heart aches inside my chest, though, and my body feels completely numb. I care about Ryler more than I’ve realized.
By the time we make it to Evan’s, Ryler’s demeanor changes from agitated to calm and composed. Ever since I found out Ryler works for my father, I’ve tried to figure out how I could have missed it. Seeing him interact with Evan, I’m starting to understand how I didn’t know. Ryler is very good at being whoever he needs to be, and I worry that’s exactly what he’s done with me.
We’re in the garage of the large house Evan has rented. Inside the home, there are a group of men who work with my father. They are stacking and counting packages of cocaine, and the scene reminds me of all the drugs I’d seen the night in Ralingford when I snuck out late that night. So many drugs and dealers, but that was only the tip of the iceberg. Inside the warehouse is where the experiments go on—where the drugs are tested. And, like the warehouses in Ralingford, Evan’s home is set up with hundreds of alarms.
The garage must be the safety zone since we’re free to move around. The space is bigger than my entire place, yet he doesn’t have a single car parked inside. The concrete is stained with blood and oil. God knows what Evan’s been doing in here.
Earlier today, he tried to convince me to move in with him again. I said no, but Evan has never been one to take no for an answer. Yes, yes, yes is all he’ll accept. Anything less is unacceptable.
“You’re going to do it, Emery,” he said while his body was over mine. He’d been sticking his tongue down my throat until I denied his murmuring request to move in with him. “You and I are going to be together. Everyone wants this to happen.”
Of course everyone wants it to happen. Your father and mine have wanted to merge our families since I was born, I wanted to say. Instead, I uttered, “I don’t know if I’m ready for such a big, life-changing event.”
“Well, you better get ready.” His fingers pressed forcefully into my wrists, and I could actually feel my skin bruising. “I’m not going to wait around forever. And you know what your father will do if you refuse me.”
My heart was thrashing so violently inside my chest that I thought I was going to have a panic attack and pass out right there in front of him, which would have been an irreversible mistake. Thankfully, he released me and left my apartment before that happened.
“This package is important.” Evan’s voice rips me from my thoughts. He’s been pretending I don’t exist. Some form of punishment for denying him, I’m sure. Really, it’s a reward. “You know you’re not supposed to open it,” Evan reminds Ryler as he hands a small, square box to his bodyguard, Tagger, so he can give it to Ryler.
I’m sure the unnecessary exchange is because Evan thinks he’s too good to make the exchange himself.
The three of them are completely different. Tagger is big, sturdy, and menacing. Evan looks like a walking poster of a lead singer in a boy band; blond hair, blue eyes, solid muscles, the perfect height. Dressed in black, facial piercings and tattoos, with messy black hair, Ryler is the opposite.
A mess because I ran my fingers through it. God, I hope Evan can’t see on my face how attracted I am to Ryler. He’ll kill him.
Obviously, Ryler mouths to Evan as he takes the small package and tucks it into his pocket.
“I was just making sure you understood.” Evan’s gaze glides to my wrist before settling on my eyes. “Emery, you look more beautiful than ever today. Flushed by my presence, I’m sure.”
Arrogant bastard.
The more time I spend with him, the more it feels like Evan is my jail sentence, my punishment for my sins. For killing. For being insane. For everything that I am.