“You guys go ahead. I need to talk to the band.”
Liam looked around the lobby flooded with people who’d just finished auditioning or were waiting for their turn. Now that I wasn’t wearing my disguise, people were starting to notice me. I was getting stares, whispers, and curious expressions. Is that who we think it is? “Even if you were a part of the band once, bro, they’re not going to let you talk to them. You’re just a schlub now, like us.”
Shaking my head, I told him, “I have to try. I need to clear the air before the chaos starts.”
Nodding, he patted my shoulder. “I hope they let you in then.”
When it was clear there were no more groups left, I started to get nervous. What if the guys were whisked away by security, slipped out the back so nobody could bother them now that their job for the day was done. It was strange to not be a part of that. Looking at their fame from the other side made them seem larger than life, unapproachable. They weren’t though. They were my friends. Or were, once upon a time.
Hoping they were still there, I snuck back into the auditorium. Luckily, they were. All three guys were clustered around the judging table, discussing the auditions. Matt was saying, “I knew we’d find talent in L.A.” I hoped he meant me.
Just as I started to approach them, a hand clamped onto my shoulder. “Auditions are over, you need to leave now.”
I looked up at the massive bulk blocking my path and was about to tell him who I was, when I realized he already knew. “Sam? Damn, it’s good to see you.” Giving him a slug in the shoulder, I wondered if he felt the same.
He cracked a small smile. “Griffin…it’s been a while.”
Taking that small gesture as a positive, I started moving around him. “I need to talk to the guys before they leave.”
He moved to block my path. “Auditions are over. The band isn’t seeing anyone right now.”
My expression was incredulous. “Dude…it’s me.”
Sam shrugged. “I have my orders. No one is to bother the band once auditions are over, and I hate to have to tell you this, Griff, ’cause I do like you, but…you’re not part of the band anymore. I’m sorry, but you need to leave.”
He started pushing me back toward the doors. Unbelievable. I’d known this guy since he was a glorified bouncer at Pete’s. But I guess I couldn’t fault him for wanting to keep his job. Maybe if I’d been equally diligent, I’d still have mine. I wasn’t about to give up that easily though. “Kellan!” I shouted.
Kellan turned my way after hearing my voice. A wide smile stretched across his lips as he waved me over. “Let him through, Sam. It’s okay.”
I adjusted my clothes once Sam moved aside to let me pass. “See,” I told him. He merely shrugged, and I knew he’d do it again if he thought it was what the guys wanted.
As I trudged past him, I noticed Matt slap Kellan’s shoulder in a gesture of Why did you invite him down here? Kellan ignored him and kept his eyes on me. When I was close enough, he lifted his hand in greeting. “Griff, it’s good to see you. I’m glad you came down.” By the twist of his lips, I knew what he really meant was, I’m glad you listened to my wife.
Slightly uncomfortable now that I was directly in front of them, I scratched my head. “Yeah…well…I couldn’t let this opportunity go by without trying, you know?”
Matt’s face darkened. “Opportunity? Do you have any idea how shitty the last year has been? Do you even care?”
Swallowing, I debated how honest I should be. Then I realized the only thing I had left was honesty. “No, I really didn’t know how hard it had been on you guys…and no, I really didn’t care. All I cared about was getting what I thought I deserved…and I ended up pushing everyone who meant a damn away from me. I was a selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, diva, asshole, creep, moron…and I’m so sorry.”
The guys were all staring at me in shock. I usually never admitted when I was being an idiot. Typically, I wrapped my I’m awesome mantra around me like armor. And I knew why…admitting I was flawed fucking sucked. I’d rather be doing just about anything other than telling the guys what I was telling them, but that would only get me stuck in the same dark pit I’d been stuck in for the last few weeks. No, I’d be stuck in an even worse pit, since I’d just kissed my job goodbye by moving forward in the competition. I had nothing to fall back on.
Matt regained his composure before the other two. “Do you think you’ll go farther if you butter us up?” he asked, his expression suspicious.
Shaking my head, I told him, “No. I don’t expect anything from any of you, I just…I fucked up, and I wanted to apologize for it…even if it is too late to change anything.”
I turned, prepared to walk away, but Kellan put a hand on my shoulder. “I accept your apology,” he stated. “Good luck in the show.”
“Thanks,” I said, then I gave him a brief one-armed hug. I’d known that Kellan was the least angry of the three, but I felt a little better after hearing him accept me.
Evan sighed, then extended his hand. “What you did gave new meaning to the word ‘jackass’…but I forgive you too. Good luck, man.”
I shook his hand, feeling even better. Matt was glaring at me, so I figured I wouldn’t get very far with him. I’d been expecting that though, so I just nodded, to let him know I understood why he couldn’t say the words.