You know the weight of his body, bearing down on you, skin on skin…
I click to exit the site before I can spiral any lower in my wistful memories. Dex is somewhere on the other side of the country, getting on with this amazing new chapter in his life. And I’m supposed to just sit here, following the same careful routine, knowing I’ve lost my greatest shot at love.
My intercom buzzes. “Lily?” I answer with a sigh.
“No, idiot,” Jacob’s voice comes, scathing. “Do you think I’m sitting here getting a fucking manicure? I left you a dozen voicemails. The fabric samples are unacceptable!”
I take a deep breath. “Be right there!”
I grab my notebook and head across the office, trying to get my head back to work mode.
Pull it together, Alicia. Your job matters more than ever now: what else will distract you from Dex and his hot new Hollywood girlfriend?
“Finally.” Jacob is pacing his office when I arrive. He gestures to the design samples strewn around the room. “You better tell me this is some kind of joke.”
“What do you mean?” I ask cautiously, picking up one of the dresses. It’s for the department store line launching in a couple of months: simple, classic Jacob Main designs, but made for a mass audience—the kind of regular people who want to spend forty dollars on a great outfit, not four hundred. “We approved these weeks ago.”
“And now I’m saying they’re bullshit!” Jacob rants. “Look at this cotton, I wouldn’t use it to line my fucking dog basket. I want the whole lot trashed, we need to start over.”
I stare at him in disbelief. “That’s impossible! The factories have already made thousands of units. Even if we did start from scratch, we’d never make the shipping deadline in time.”
“I don’t care about impossible!” Jacob declares. “Make it happen.”
“Jacob, no,” I say firmly. “This isn’t negotiable.”
He turns bright red. “Then fuck them. I’m not having this garbage going out with my name on it.”
“The contracts are signed,” I explain, fighting to keep my cool. “It’s too late. They’re great pieces,” I add, trying to soothe him like I always do. He rants, I talk him off the edge: it’s a tired routine by now, but it works. “You loved the samples when we saw them last month.”
“And now I fucking can’t stand them!” Jacob roars, sending a shower of spit in my direction. “What the hell do I pay you for? Fix it.”
Here’s where I always calm him down: giving him an ego-boost about how talented he is, and how he’s doing a service, giving the masses a taste of his exquisite design. I tell him how projects like this give him freedom to do a more expensive line, and how all his rivals would kill for this kind of exposure.
But today, I feel a spark of stubbornness. “No.” I glare back, folding my arms.
Jacob blinks in surprise, but before I can stop myself, I keep talking, all my private thoughts suddenly tumbling out of my mouth in one long torrent of truth.
“You need to stop acting like such a little brat, and start being a professional. You made the deal, approved the designs, and now you’re stuck with them,” I tell him, my annoyance growing. “And just because you’re the boss, it doesn’t mean you can talk to everyone like they’re completely worthless. You made Andi in accounting cry last week. I don’t care how talented you are, you can’t run this company alone, so try acting like a decent human being for a change!”
Jacob gapes at me. “What the fuck did you just say?” he finally finds his voice.
“The truth,” I tell him, my heart racing. I know I’m being crazy right now, but I can’t stop myself.
“And by the way, I quit.”
I turn on my heel and walk away, leaving Jacob shell-shocked behind me. I head back to my office, grab a carton, and start packing my desk, adrenaline pumping through my body. I can’t believe I just did that! But instead of panic, I feel nothing but relief. This is the right decision, it has to be.
“That was quick.” Lily wanders in. She pauses, watching me. “What are you doing?”
“Cleaning my desk.”
She gasps. “He fired you?”
“Nope. I resigned,” I reply cheerfully as I empty my drawers. “Can you pass me that vase?”
Lily stares at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Alicia?” she asks carefully. “Are you feeling OK? I know you’ve been down recently.”
“I’m feeling great,” I reply, sweeping an armful of paperwork aside. Spreadsheets, purchase orders…I won’t be needing any of them now. Let someone else deal with the mess.
“But…you can’t do this. You’re not in your right mind.” Lily looks around, panicked. “I’m sure if you went back and apologized—”
“I don’t need to say I’m sorry,” I reply. “Really, I’m fine. I just don’t want to work here anymore.”
Lily blinks. “This isn’t like you,” she says, still looking at me like I’ve just stripped naked and danced around the office. “Is this about that guy?”
“No,” I reply, then pause. “Yes. I don’t know. I just know that there’s more than this.” I try to explain the impulse that’s seized hold of me. “Being with Dex, it opened my eyes to everything. I’ve been planning my future so long, always looking ahead, I keep ignoring right now. Life’s too short.”