“Neither did I.” His breath came in deep, gasping breaths.
He returned his mouth to hers and she gave herself over to the power of his kiss. Their tongues danced in a forbidden ritual of lovers, thrust and parry, thrust and parry. Gabriel cupped her breast, molding his palm to the full contour and she bit her lip to keep from crying out. She brought trembling hands to his hair, once again to hold him in place and never let go. Her lashes drifted closed and she, who’d fought this enigmatic pull he’d had upon her since their first meeting, let herself free to it—to him, to the possibility of them. “I love you,” she whispered.
He stopped; his head bent over her breast. His rapid breath warmed her skin.
“I love you,” she repeated when he still said nothing. She braced for the sudden rush of terror that making such an admission should cost her and yet it did not come. Days, weeks, or years, it mattered not how long a person knew another person; it mattered about the goodness of their soul and their hold upon a heart. Somehow, he’d shattered her resolve to protect her heart and live a life dependent upon no one but herself.
Gabriel’s body went taut and he released her with such alacrity, she would have stumbled if the wall hadn’t been at her back. Her chest rose and fell with the force of her breaths. He shook his head back and forth in a slow, repetitive manner.
She nodded. “I do,” she whispered and held her palms up. “I love—”
“Do not.” That harsh command cut across her declaration and killed the sentiments on her lips.
Her heart twisted at the horror stamped on the lines of his face. She managed a small smile and imagined it was a weak, pathetic attempt. “Not saying those words does not make them untrue, Gabriel.”
He took a step away from her, and then another, and another, until his legs knocked against the chair. With fingers that shook, he raked a hand through his tousled dark curls. “You d—”
“Yes,” she nodded. “Yes, I do.”
“You don’t even like me.” There was an entreaty in those five words that if her heart weren’t breaking even now at his response, would have brought her to laughter.
She pushed the door closed, and toyed with the handle a moment, fixating on the shiny gold metal. “Am I a whore because my mother was?”
“Do not even say that,” he snapped out with a steely anger that stole the remainder of her heart.
Jane turned back to face him. “But isn’t that the company I keep? By your own admission of your status and worth, shouldn’t my value be weighed in a like manner?”
“It is not the same.” He swiped a hand over his face.
“Isn’t it?” She pushed away from the door and took a step toward him. “You cannot be a hypocrite and hold me above my birthright, and then not do the same for yourself.”
“You don’t love me,” he said over her, not seeming to hear her words.
“I do,” she said taking another step toward him.
A muscle jumped at the corner of his right eye. “You’d agreed to a marriage of convenience.” He paused. “Not even a day ago.” There was an accusatory bite to his words. “You are confusing gratitude with—”
She narrowed her eyes. “Do not even finish that, Gabriel Garmund Randolph Edgerton,” she said, grateful more than ever for the entirety of that grand name.
He wisely snapped his mouth closed.
“I may love you, but you still infuriate the blazes out of me with your high-handedness.” Jane took a deep breath and closed the distance between them. If he’d not already been prevented backward movement by the upholstered sofa, she’d wager all of her three thousand pounds he’d have retreated faster than Boney on his march through Russia. She placed her palms on his jacket and smoothed the lapels. His body went taut under her touch. “I know you do not love me.” She paused for a fraction of a moment, hoping with a small tiny part of her soul she’d only just discovered existed that he’d issue a protestation. But it did not come. The muscles of her stomach tightened painfully. Oh, God. In this loving a man who’d never return those sentiments, she’d become her mother. “I do not expect anything more from you than the security you provide.” And with those words, she became more her mother than she’d ever dreamed herself to be.