She nodded but didn’t say anything and her eyes remained closed as her body began to tremble. She sank against me—we were skin on skin and it was all I thought it would be. She was soft, so fucking soft…and the smell of summer was everywhere but something was wrong.
I swallowed and blew out a long, breath. I took a moment before I attempted to speak because I thought that if I didn’t get this right, I might blow everything , whatever the hell it was with this girl. This meant something to me.
I kissed her temple and wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight so that I could absorb everything. Every shudder, and tremble, and breath. It was all mine.
After a while I realized she was crying and I felt like the biggest shit on the planet. I didn’t understand what was happening—what I’d said or did—but I knew I needed to fix this.
“Hey,” I said softly, running my hands over her shoulders and down her spine. “We don’t have to do this. We can wait. I don’t…” God, what the fuck? “I don’t want to pressure you or anything. I thought…I thought you wanted this but…” Shit, was I even making any sense?
“I want to,” she mumbled into my neck. Her voice sounded so small and uncertain that something broke apart inside me. Such a feeling…or a need to protect filled me that for a moment I was speechless.
“I wanted to,” she repeated. “But I want to do this right and there’s so much you don’t know about me and if you did you’d probably run the other way because I would…if I was you. And…” she shuddered again. “I’m not making any sense am I?”
She pulled away, enough so that I could look into her eyes again. Thank the fuck that they were open.
I needed to make her understand.
“Georgia, don’t worry. We can take this slow. This isn’t just about sex, although I gotta tell you, you’re killing me here.”
A heartbeat passed. Did I just say that? Holy hell if Rossi from the team had heard that come out of my mouth he would have pounded me for sure. I was the no commitment guy.
“I want this to matter.” I hoped like hell I hadn’t blown things.
She was nodding and whispered, “Okay,” but I knew it wasn’t—there was something in her eyes that tore at me. And even though my hard on was going to be a bitch to deal with, Georgia mattered a hell of a lot more than the state of my dick.
“Okay.” I rested my head on top of hers as I tried to take control of my body. “We’ll take this slow.”
For a moment there was silence. “Thank you.”
Those two little words punched me in the gut something fierce. I hugged her and then picked her up, my mouth seeking hers as I headed for the bed. Once there, I managed to tug the comforter back and after she slid inside, I followed her in.
She fit right into me like we’d been sleeping together forever and I cuddled her close, inhaling her essence, keeping it as mine. I moved her hair from the back of her neck and trailed a line of kiss up to her ear until she was trembling again.
And then I smiled. “I’m sleeping here with you tonight, no negotiation on that.”
She nodded, but didn’t answer.
“And when Matt comes home on Monday—”
“He’ll be home tomorrow,” she whispered, her arms sliding along my forearm and curling around, holding me in return.
“Good, because as soon as I see him I’m going to tell Matt that we’re seeing each other and if he doesn’t like it, fuck him. I’m not hiding the way I feel. I can’t be the guy who does that. I want you.”
A thought occurred to me and I didn’t like the way it made me feel. “You do feel the same way, don’t you? Tell me that this isn’t all me, Georgia. This crazy fucking explosion I feel inside.”
There was silence, and then…
“No,” she said softly. “It’s not just you.”
I groaned and kissed her shoulder, loving how she shuddered against me. “I want to learn all your deepest and darkest secrets.” I was teasing but her fingers stopped stroking my arm and she stiffened.
“What if my secrets are things you can’t deal with?”