And now? It made me feel like a tool for sleeping with Bella.
Beside me, Bella breathed deeply, sleeping the sleep of the shameless. I envied her that. My churning thoughts kept me awake until, eventually, even those wore me out.
And I slept.
Six
Rafe
At eight in the morning, I rolled over. Or rather, I tried to. My eyes snapped open at the shock of finding another body in the bed. I came to wakefulness against Bella, her bare ass snugged against my thighs. And since it was morning — and I was a guy — my morning wood was basically stabbing her in the back.
Holy…
Holding my breath, I eased away from her body. Bella sighed, but did not wake up. Inch by quiet inch, I extracted myself from the bed, carefully drawing the covers up over her as far as I dared. Her creamy breast lay there exposed, the nipple rosy in the morning light. I averted my eyes, feeling like a creeper for admiring her body.
I realized I was still holding my breath. Because it’s not every day you wake up naked with your neighbor after losing your virginity in a one-night stand. I exhaled as quietly as possible.
It was time to get the hell out of there.
I put my clothes on as fast as near silence would allow. Picking up my shoes and the stupid gift bag with Alison’s earrings inside, I tiptoed to the door, opening it like a thief in the night.
I didn’t breathe until the door was closed behind me. Setting my shoes down, I jammed my feet inside.
It was almost a clean getaway.
Abruptly, the neighboring door swung open to reveal a young woman in gym clothes. We were both caught off guard, startling each other right there on the tiny landing.
My surprise only grew when I realized who I was looking at. Lianne Chalice was only the most famous member of the freshman class — and an actual movie star. She’d played Princess Vindi in the film adaptations of all the Sorceress books. (My high school girlfriends had dragged me to every one of them. So I’d watched Lianne Chalice duel many a Hollywood actor.) I’d read in the New York Times that she was a freshman here this year, but I’d never run into her before. And certainly not in my own stairwell.
“You’re staring,” she hissed.
“Sorry,” I whispered automatically.
She gave me the most dismissive look I have ever seen on a girl in my life, and then stepped around me, heading down the stairs.
My heart thumping with embarrassment, I finished shoving my shoes onto my feet, and then quietly followed her down the stairs. I was only on the third step or so when I realized that the star of several major motion pictures had been the one to hear me announce that the condom broke.
Shoot me.
At least the walk of shame was only two flights of stairs. I took a moment in our hallway bathroom. When I washed my hands, I caught my reflection in the mirror. I don’t know what I was expecting, but the face I saw there was the same one I’d seen yesterday. The non-virgin Rafe looked the same as the other one. Only slightly less happy.
Looking myself square in the eyes, I mouthed the word I was thinking. “Idiota.”
It was one thing to get taken in by Alison’s deception. That had been dumb enough. But then I’d gone and compounded it by sleeping with Bella. I’d practically inflicted myself on that girl. It didn’t excuse a thing that she’d wanted me, too. I knew better than to take that risk.
Yesterday morning? I was a stand-up guy, trying to do right by his girlfriend. Twenty-four hours later I was just some jerk who’d taken off his clothes for the first person who smiled at him. I let out a long, shaky sigh and tried to compose myself.
Leaving the bathroom, I braced myself for questions from Bickley. He was probably sitting around in the common room, wondering whether or not to go running without me.
When I opened the door to our suite I found Mat instead of Bickley. He was perched on our window seat, smoking a cigarette. At eight in the morning. His eyes flicked toward mine before dropping again. I shut the door, waving my hand in front of my face. The room already smelled of smoke. Dios. “Could you at least open the window?”
“Don’t ride me, bitch.”
“Nice,” I grunted, taking two steps forward and face-planting onto the sofa. Everything was just so wrong. My head was pounding, and my mouth was dry. I had an empty feeling in my gut. Lying there, I sucked down a lung full of cigarette smoke along with my own shame.
At least I didn’t have to explain myself. Mat was too prickly to bother asking personal questions. Bickley and I hadn’t met him until move-in day. With his big frame and excessive tattoos, Mat resembled a TV commando. The first day we’d walked into our assigned room, Bickley and I had found Mat sitting on a camo duffel bag that looked far too authentic to come from a store. When we greeted him, he’d barely looked up from the course schedule in his hands. And were those dog tags around his neck?