“Does knowing that make you uncomfortable?” he asked, his voice soft and low.
Yes. No. “I don’t know,” I admitted.
His fingers moved down my neck, to where the collar hung loose. My heart kicked against my ribs as two of his fingers slipped under the collar, following the line of my collarbone to where it dipped at the base of my throat. I had no idea what he was doing or if I wanted him to stop touching me or to keep touching me. Common sense said I should want him to stop.
He tapped a finger there and then his hand moved up and to the side, curling around the base of my neck. His thumb was against my pulse, and it went crazy as he tilted my head back. He lowered his head until his mouth was above mine, so close I could taste his minty breath.
Time seemed to stop and then he tilted his head. “It makes me uncomfortable,” he spoke just above a whisper, and as he did, his lips brushed the corner of mine, sending a riot of sensations through me. Panic. Confusion. Want. Desire. He shifted closer, his legs touching mine. When he spoke again, his lips were near my ear. “Only because I’m going against my nature right now.”
I shuddered from the combination of our closeness, the feel of his soft hair on my cheek, and the way his thumb pressed against my pulse. An almost painful heaviness moved into my chest and then lower, much lower. My fingers trembled as the crazy notion of lifting my hands and placing them on his chest smacked into me.
“When I want something, I go for it,” he continued in the same low, seductive voice. “I don’t even think twice about it, but with you…I’ve got to think.” His lips hit a surprisingly sensitive spot right under my ear. I jerked as a tiny, raspy sound crept out of my throat. “And that probably makes you very, very lucky.”
Seth stepped back, his gaze lingering for a moment before he turned away and left me standing there, at a complete loss as to what had just happened and wanting, oddly, to not be so lucky.
I let go of the breath I didn’t realize I was holding. My throat felt insanely tight and my heart was doing an unsteady little dance in my chest. Even though he wasn’t near me now, there was still an edginess in the room that made the shirt I wore feel too heavy. I’d never had such a…visceral reaction to a guy before, especially one that I’d known for two days.
Two days, and I’d already slept in the same bed as him, would be doing so again, when I’d never shared a bed with a guy before. Two days since my life had started to unravel upon meeting him in the stairwell, and only one day since I learned the truth about the world and myself, but the time felt longer than that. Maybe that was why everything was heightened. I’d been thrust into this, into Seth’s world, spending hour after hour with him, and with all these crazy things happening, even my body was reacting differently.
But none of it mattered. Once we reached South Dakota, it sounded like he’d be gone, and only strangers would surround me. Even though we had just met, I really didn’t consider Seth a stranger anymore. My knees were shaky.
Seth sat on the bed and he lifted his hand, scrubbing his hand through his hair as he looked over at me. “Would it make you feel more comfortable if I took one of those chairs for the night?”
Surprise flickered through me. I hadn’t even thought he’d offer that, especially after last night, but the mere fact that he offered that drew some of the rigidity out of me. I softened a little bit more.
“No,” I said, forcing my feet to move to the other side of the bed. “That’s not necessary. You’re a big boy and I’m a big girl.”
He cocked an eyebrow, but remained silent as I climbed into bed, quickly shoving my bare legs under the comforter. As I settled onto my back, getting my legs pressed together and my hands fitted across my chest, he stood and made his way to the light switch. The moment the room plunged into darkness, I started retracting the “big girl” part immediately. When the bed dipped under Seth’s weight, I might have stopped breathing a little. And when the mattress shifted again as he rolled onto his side, facing me, I might have had a minor heart attack.
“Josie?” His voice was soft in the darkness.
“Yeah?” I croaked.
There was a beat of silence. “If you want to use me as a body pillow again, I won’t mind.”
I opened my mouth and a startled laugh erupted out of me. Moderately embarrassed and partly amused, I turned my head toward him. As my vision adapted to the darkness, I could make out the planes and angles of his face. “Thanks.”
“Just thought I’d let you know. I actually like cuddling. And I like what typically comes before and after cuddling,” he went on, and I couldn’t fight the stupid grin tugging at my lips. “I bet there’s condoms in those baskets on the dresser.”
“Oh my God,” I said, and another laugh escaped me as looked away, smacking my hands down on my face. “What kind of motel has condoms in baskets in the lobby?”
Seth chuckled as he reached out, tugging the closest hand away from my face. He didn’t respond, but he also didn’t let go of my hand. Both of our hands lay in the miniscule space between us, his fingers wrapped loosely around mine. I don’t know why he did it or why his hand stayed like that, but when the quietness stretched and his breathing deepened, his fingers remained entwined with mine. The very last thought I remember before slipping away was there was no way I’d get any sleep that night.
Chapter 13
I HAD used Seth as a giant body pillow. Again.