“I don’t think it’s online, but Paige…what were you thinking?” She honestly believes I’m in porn.
“Ah…ha…” I start to laugh, looking around to see who’s watching us. Nobody cares, and no one has turned their heads once. Porn. The one girl—not related to me—who has known me longest, thinks I’m an adult-film star.
“This is serious, Paige,” she says, her brow pinched, her face in intervention mode. I hate the way she keeps saying my name for emphasis. She looks ridiculous. This whole thing…it’s ridiculous.
“Lexi,” I say her name back with a little bite, and she flinches. “I am not, let me repeat, am not in a porno film.
“I saw it Paige,” she says, leaning her head to one side and affecting pity. I hold her stare for a few long seconds, the crowd behind her blurring out as women rush by with bags and high schoolers ditching class for the day swear and push one another. And then I realize…I remember.
“Oh. My. God!” I say in a short and panicked voice, standing and looking around. Still…nobody notices me. I sit back down and let my face fall into my hands.
Rush week was hell, and Chandra made us do a lot of embarrassing things. One of them was strip for the Sigma guys, and she filmed it. It was sort of innocent, and we only went down to our bra and panties—but Chandra filmed it. And last month, with Carson, he might have filmed…something else. And fuck!
“Who showed you this? Where was it? How did they show you? Who gave it to them…” I watch her shake her head as she tries to sort through my barrage of questions.
“Steph goes to UCLA, and she lives on Tabitha Snyder’s floor. I guess Tab knows your sister and some chick on Cass’s soccer team is her cousin or something? Cass didn’t show her. I don’t think Cass even knows, if that’s what you’re worried about, but that other girl had the video and emailed it to her. She told her it was going around.”
I stand before Lexi’s done talking, and she stands with me, pulling her purse close to her body like somehow now that she’s told me the sordid secret going around about me, we’re in danger. Look out! Muggers coming out of the woodwork because there’s a stupid fucking rumor floating around about me.
I feel her hand reach for the back of my shirt, and I shrug her off.
“Paige? Why? Did you need money or something? I mean, how much money can you really make from something like that?” I note the way she’s looking at me while she talks. I think there’s a part of her concern that is genuine. But she’s also made it clear she’d cut me loose in a heartbeat to save her own reputation—even if it meant letting me fall down a cliff.
“No, Lexi. I didn’t get money for it,” I say, my answer clipped on purpose. She’s waiting with her mouth ajar for me to fill her in more. Maybe she’s waiting for the big protest, for my explanation—which I actually do have. I probably should defend myself, but I just don’t feel like it. I don’t think Lexi deserves it, and I don’t think it would do any good.
I turn and leave Lexi behind, calling my mom to come pick me up at a restaurant a block away. When she comes, her face painted with that same worried expression I’ve seen too much of today, I snap at her and tell her Lexi ditched me to go smoke pot and she should just be happy that her daughter doesn’t do shit like that.
Tabitha went to our high school, and she played on the team there with Cass. She’s also Chandra’s cousin—and like Chandra, Tabitha never really cared for my sister. So I’m sure she was happy to help spread a lie about me, and I’m sure Chandra told her it would hurt Cass.
When we get back to the house, I do a frenzied search online for myself, for the video. Nothing comes up, but now I know it might. The threat is real. I search through Tabitha’s Facebook posts—glad she’s too stupid to keep her page private. When I see pictures of her and Chandra, I feel my blood boil. Without waiting, I pull my phone into my hand and type a message to Houston.
Got your message. Yes. I’ll take the room.
Chapter 6
Houston
Sounds good.
I wrote that to Paige a week ago, and then nothing. I should probably find out when she’s coming back to campus, when she’ll be here, when I should start her lease. Lease! I need to send her paperwork for that, too. Not that I don’t trust her, but my mom insists on lease papers ever since we had a freshman guy leave in the middle of the night two years ago—owing us six hundred bucks.
I need you to sign a lease…