“Thanks for that. But I was rude, especially to my mom.”
“You settled that, though, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then. Nothing more to talk about.”
She took a deep breath. “I thought we might go for a walk, if that’s all right with you.”
He nodded. “Sure.”
She grabbed her zip-up hoodie and he pulled on his sweatshirt before they stepped outside.
Trevor felt the chill in the air, even through his sweatshirt. It made him think of football. Crave it. He wanted to be in Tampa, with his team. Much as he’d hated losing to Atlanta, to be shut out of postseason baseball, he had to switch his mind-set.
Tampa had already played three games without him. He had to get his ass in gear and his body ready for football. He was already in shape, but football was a different game.
“You’re quiet,” Haven said.
“Thinking about football.”
Her lips curved. “Already making the switch mentally?”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re ready to play.”
He shifted his focus to her. Her eyes were red rimmed and swollen. Time to shut off thoughts of himself and his game. “I’m ready to play. How about you?”
“What about me?”
“How do you feel?”
They’d arrived at a public park just outside campus, so he took her hand and led her to one of the picnic benches. They sat on top of the bench.
“I feel fine now. I went to the cemetery. I talked to my mom, and I know this sounds silly, but I also talked to my dad. Everything feels clearer to me.”
“Good.”
“I guess I was stuck in the past and I didn’t want anything to change. I didn’t want my dad to have died.” She looked over at him. “I’ve been in denial, refusing to face a life without him.”
He swept her hair away from her face. “It’s been hard for you.”
“Yeah, it has been. And that I can face now. It’s been hard. It probably always will be. I think that’s what was so hard about seeing my mom tonight. She was moving forward, and it appeared to be so easy for her.”
“It’s not easy for her, Haven. You have to realize that.”
“I do now. It was petty and childish of me to say those things to her, to accuse her of not mourning my father. She loved him. With everything she had, she loved him every day they were together. She still does.”
He nodded and scooted closer to her. “You both did. He was a very lucky man to have both of you.”
“He had so many people who loved him. You, all the guys.”
“Yeah, we did. It was hard losing the postseason and not getting that phone call from him telling me everything was going to be okay. I miss him, too.”
“I know you do. He left a legacy, Trevor. People will remember him.”
Her voice was stronger now, her eyes clearer.
“Of course we will. I couldn’t have survived college without him. He was more like a father to me than my father ever was.”
“Thanks for that. It means a lot to me to hear it.”
“It’s the truth.”
“I guess it was just hard for me to let go of his memory.”
He tilted her face to his. “You never have to do that. Don’t even try. You just have to let go of the pain.”
She nodded. “You’re right.” She leaned her head against his shoulder. For a while, they just sat there side by side, his arm around her in the dark. A few students walked by, no doubt heading back and forth to the nearby library, which was open all night.
God, he sure as hell didn’t miss college, at least not the academic part. That had been hell for him. He missed playing, though.
Haven shivered next to him.
“Ready to head back? It’s getting cold out here,” he said.
“Okay.”
He slid off the table, then grasped Haven around the waist, pulling her into his arms. She nestled against him, then wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. She tilted her head back and looked up at him.
“Thanks for being here with me and for not thinking I’m some giant mess of a crazy, raving bitch.”
He laughed. “I don’t think that about you.”
“Oh, please. Even I think that about me.”
“Well, you’re wrong.” He tipped her chin up with his fingers, then brushed his lips across hers. “I think you’re honest with your emotions.”
“I wasn’t. I was running hot and cold, not facing them.”