She swiped at the tears, knowing how her dad would tell her not to cry over him.
“I’m sorry, Daddy. I know you’d be mad at me for the things I said to Mom. But it’s like she’s forgotten you. She’s got this whole new life now. It’s like she’s moved on, and I can’t seem to do that. I guess I’m not as strong. I need your help.”
She shuddered as she inhaled, wishing like anything she could feel her dad’s big strong arms around her right now. Just one more time.
“Remember when we’d sit in the living room and watch football together? Remember the popcorn fights? Mom would get so mad at us about that.”
“That’s because I’d have to do all the vacuuming, and a week later I’d still find popcorn kernels.”
She half turned to find her mother standing just behind her. She came and sat on the bench next to her.
“I’m sorry for what I said to you. It was rude and unforgivable,” Haven said.
Her mother put her arm around her. “You have no need to apologize. You were always taught to say what was on your mind.”
“Not like that. It was disrespectful. Please forgive me.”
“You’re forgiven. I know what I’m doing must seem to you like I’ve moved on from your father, when nothing could be further from the truth, Haven.” Her mother stared at the headstone, and Haven saw tears shimmer in her eyes. “God, I loved that man with all my heart and soul. There will never be a love in my life like him. He was the first, the last, and everything to me.”
Haven sniffled, and then she realized that her mother had buried the love of her life. It had been utterly and completely cruel of her to throw those words at her mother. Haven had lost her father, but her mother had lost the man she had loved for more than thirty-three years. She took her mother’s hand and squeezed it.
“But your father made me promise that I wouldn’t stop living, that I’d continue to follow my dreams. And I did promise him that. When the school told me about the dorm parent situation, I figured I’d make good on that promise and go back to school—back to teaching again. I’d gotten a little complacent. And if I sit in that house and wallow about losing your father, I’ll lose myself as well, Haven. I can’t do that. I have to keep living. Not just for you, but for myself. And for your dad.”
Haven nodded. “I know you do.”
Her mother turned to her. “And so do you. Your father would be so disappointed in you if you allowed your world to stop because he died.”
Haven inhaled on a sob. “I know he would. But I miss him so much.”
“We still have each other. For as long as I’m alive, we’ll still have each other. But you have to go out and find your life, my sweet baby girl. Promise me you’ll do that.”
Her mother wrapped her up in her arms. And just like that, she felt the warmth of love surrounding her. It was as if for that moment, she felt her dad’s presence there, as well. Maybe it was just her imagination, or wishful thinking, but a sense of well-being enveloped her.
“I will. I promise, Mom. Things will be better now. For both of us.”
She looked at her dad’s headstone, and for the first time since he died, she was able to think about the future without that future feeling empty.
Okay, Dad. For you. For Mom. It’s time for all of us to move on.
TREVOR PUT AWAY THE LEFTOVER STEW AND DID THE dishes, and even made another pitcher of tea, needing to keep his hands and his mind occupied while he waited for Haven and her mom to get back. When he heard the car doors, he wiped his hands on the dish towel and pulled out clean glasses in case they wanted a drink.
Haven was the first to show up in the kitchen.
She arched a brow. “You did dishes?”
“Yeah. Are you still hungry?”
“No, I’m fine.”
“How about some tea? I made more of that.”
“Aren’t you all domestic. I’d love a glass of tea.”
He poured her a glass and handed it to her. “Where’s your mom?”
“She went upstairs.”
“Are you okay? Are the two of you okay?”
“We’re good now. Thanks.”
He took a seat next to her. “Do you want to talk about it?”
She took a couple of swallows of tea. “Not particularly, other than to apologize to you as well. I wasn’t my best today, but things are going to be better now.”
She didn’t owe him any explanation. That was between her and her mother. “You don’t have to apologize to me, Haven. I told you before that you’re allowed to feel however you feel.”