love is often a very complicated one. In the case of man the sex
feeling may, and frequently does exist independent of love in the
higher sense; in the case of woman it is quite certain that love
occurs far less seldom unaccompanied by the sex inclination. It is
also quite possible for love to develop before the development of the
sex feeling, and this often, in married life, leads to the happiest
relationships.
The mutual adoration of two individuals, husband and wife, often
degenerates into a species of egoistic enmity toward the remainder of
the world. And this, in turn, in many cases reacts unfavorably upon
the love the two feel for each other. Human solidarity, especially in
this day, is already too great not to revenge itself upon the
egotistical character of so exclusive a love. The real ideal of sex in
love might be expressed as follows: A man and a woman should be
induced to unite in marriage through genuine sex attraction and
harmony of character and disposition. In this union they should
mutually encourage each other to labor socially for the common good of
mankind, in such wise that _they further their own mutual education
and that of their children_, the beings nearest and dearest to them,
_as the natural point of departure for helping general human
betterment_.
If love in its relation to sex be conceived in this manner, it will
purify it by doing away with its pettinesses and it is just into these
pettinesses that the most honest and upright of matrimonial loves too
often degenerate. The constructive work done in common by two human
beings who, while they care lovingly for each other, at the same time
encourage each other to strive and endure in carrying out the
principles of right living and high thinking, will last. Love and
marriage looked at from this point of view, are relatively immune from
the small jealousies and other evil little developments of a
one-sided, purely physical affection. It will work for an ever more
ideal realization of love in its higher and nobler dispensations.
Real and true love is lasting. The suddenly awakened storm of sex
affection for a hitherto totally unknown person can never be accepted
as a true measure for love. This sudden surge of the sex feeling warps
the judgment, makes it possible to overlook the grossest defects,
colors all and everything with heavenly hues. It makes a man who is
"in love," or two beings who are in love, mutually blind, and causes
each to carefully conceal his or her real inward self from the other.