love is often a very complicated one. In the case of man the sex

feeling may, and frequently does exist independent of love in the

higher sense; in the case of woman it is quite certain that love

occurs far less seldom unaccompanied by the sex inclination. It is

also quite possible for love to develop before the development of the

sex feeling, and this often, in married life, leads to the happiest

relationships.

The mutual adoration of two individuals, husband and wife, often

degenerates into a species of egoistic enmity toward the remainder of

the world. And this, in turn, in many cases reacts unfavorably upon

the love the two feel for each other. Human solidarity, especially in

this day, is already too great not to revenge itself upon the

egotistical character of so exclusive a love. The real ideal of sex in

love might be expressed as follows: A man and a woman should be

induced to unite in marriage through genuine sex attraction and

harmony of character and disposition. In this union they should

mutually encourage each other to labor socially for the common good of

mankind, in such wise that _they further their own mutual education

and that of their children_, the beings nearest and dearest to them,

_as the natural point of departure for helping general human

betterment_.

If love in its relation to sex be conceived in this manner, it will

purify it by doing away with its pettinesses and it is just into these

pettinesses that the most honest and upright of matrimonial loves too

often degenerate. The constructive work done in common by two human

beings who, while they care lovingly for each other, at the same time

encourage each other to strive and endure in carrying out the

principles of right living and high thinking, will last. Love and

marriage looked at from this point of view, are relatively immune from

the small jealousies and other evil little developments of a

one-sided, purely physical affection. It will work for an ever more

ideal realization of love in its higher and nobler dispensations.

Real and true love is lasting. The suddenly awakened storm of sex

affection for a hitherto totally unknown person can never be accepted

as a true measure for love. This sudden surge of the sex feeling warps

the judgment, makes it possible to overlook the grossest defects,

colors all and everything with heavenly hues. It makes a man who is

"in love," or two beings who are in love, mutually blind, and causes

each to carefully conceal his or her real inward self from the other.




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