Not that she blamed them. Life on the road was no fun, and Lexi wasn’t going to dump that kind of hassle on anyone.
But with Zach, she didn’t have to. Either he was telling the truth and she’d finally found a way to fight back against the things that wanted to hurt her so she no longer had to keep running, or he was lying and she was already trapped—too late for running.
Lexi knew which of those options she hoped was true, but she also knew better than to get those hopes up too high.
Her throat tightened around a lump of longing. She so wanted to believe Zach was the kind of man she’d seen in the visions the luceria gave her. That man was kind and selfless and dedicated. That man played with children and taught them how to fight so they could defend themselves. That man took those children in, providing for them, and making sure they’d never have to use the deadly skills he taught them.
And the women in his life had been the luckiest people on the face of this planet. Lexi had watched as he’d made love to them. She saw the way he had taken care to give them pleasure, rather than merely taking his own. She’d seen how he’d been gentle and sweet with each of them, ensuring their safety even after he’d left their beds.
Lexi had spent a lot of her life wishing she had the things others took for granted—a home, a family, a normal life, a sense of security—but never before had she felt the same kind of feral jealousy she’d experienced while watching Zach love the countless women that had drifted in and out of his life over the centuries.
She tried to tell herself that she didn’t really want him, that it was just part of the whole brainwashing scheme, but she knew it was a lie. There was something deep inside her that rose up and shouted that he belonged to her, not those other women.
As her hands roamed over his beautiful back, drawing more sexy sounds from his thick chest, Lexi knew the truth. Enemy or not, she was going to find a way to have what all of those other women had had. For once, she was going to be reckless and take what she wanted from life, despite the danger.
Zach was hers and she was going to have him.
Lexi leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against his shoulder. His body clenched and his muscles stood out in hard ridges.
“Careful,” he warned her. “Kissing me is a good way to get more than you’re asking for.”
Lexi ignored the warning, shoved him down onto the bed, straddled him, and kissed him again. This time, she moved to the side of his neck and slid the tip of her tongue over his salty skin.
“Lexi?”
She wasn’t sure if he’d meant it to be a question, but she knew the answer. “Yes.”
Zach looked at her. His green eyes gave off a primal glow of desire as they glided over her body, hovering over her throat and breasts long enough to make her squirm. “What do you want?” he asked.
“You.”
He closed his eyes tight as if to block her out and said, “Be really clear, honey. I’ve got all kinds of delusions of grandeur going on here.”
Lexi had never been shy about sex, and she wasn’t about to start now. Not when she had so much to lose.
She stretched out beside him on the bed so her face was level with his. She grabbed the back of his neck and held him still while she closed the distance between them. The need to kiss him made her shake, but she held herself in check for just a moment longer, giving him the words he wanted. “I want you naked. I want you hard. I want you inside me. Clear enough?”
He opened his eyes and gave her a look so hot and full of potent male lust she broke out into a sweat. “Oh yeah. Crystal clear,” he said.
She felt his muscles bunch and harden around her body, and the next thing she knew, she was beneath him, staring up at his full, tempting mouth. She still had a firm hold on his neck, and she tugged him down to her. His lips were gentle against hers and so eager she knew she wasn’t alone in the craziness of her want for him. He wanted her, too. She could feel that want hard and thick against her mound, rocking in a slow, steady motion that made her body go liquid and pliant.
His tongue feathered against her upper lip, seeking entrance and Lexi let him in. The taste of him in her mouth drove her crazy. The slick glide of his tongue across the delicate skin just inside her lips made her want more. She could smell the spice of his skin and a subtler, earthier scent of aroused male swirling in the air around them. Her body was empty, aching and on fire. Her skin seemed to stretch, but was too small to contain all the need writhing inside her. She wasn’t even sure what it was she needed, only that Zach was the one person who could give it to her.
A fine sweat covered her body, but did nothing to cool her down. Zach’s mouth ate at hers, drinking in all the frantic noises she couldn’t stop herself from making. Her hands clutched at his hard back, trying to pull him closer when there was no room left between them.
Zach slid his hand down her side and back up, easing his way beneath her shirt so his warm hands caressed bare skin. Lexi squirmed, trying to tell him she wanted more. She wanted to feel his hand cup her breast, his palm graze her nipple. Maybe that would ease the gnawing ache inside her.
But he didn’t give her what she wanted. He just petted her as if soaking up the feel of her skin, in no hurry at all to move things faster.
Lexi was going to have to do it herself.
Her hands moved down his back, stroking hot, taut skin as she went. His jeans were snug, but not so tight she couldn’t slide one hand down below the waistband, under the stretchy cotton of his boxers. The feel of his smooth, firm ass under her palm made her blood heat and pool hot and low in her belly.
Zach sucked in a startled breath and his hips ground against her in a single smooth circle. The pressure of the movement rubbed the seam of her jeans against her clitoris and sent a zing of sensation sizzling through her. Lexi let out a soft, desperate cry for more, but instead of giving her what she wanted, his body went still above hers.
She opened her legs, making room for his big body between her thighs. He fit against her perfectly, hovering over her, holding the rest of the world at bay. Nothing existed but the feel of his weight on top of her, the warmth of his breath as she sucked it into her own lungs, the stroke of his hand across her ribs and the taste of him on her tongue.
He surrounded her, and still it wasn’t enough.
Lexi pressed hot kisses over his jaw and down the side of his corded neck. He growled, giving off a harsh, animal sound of pleasure and his weight shifted. A moment later, his long fingers slid up between her breasts and over her collarbone, his arm tugging at her shirt as he went. He stroked the luceria around her throat and sharp, hot spikes of energy raced through her.
“Open up for me,” he murmured against her hair.
She had no idea what he wanted. Her legs were already spread as wide as they could go. In fact she was rubbing herself up against him, trying in vain to find that one sweet spot he’d hit earlier.
Another jolt of power spiked through her, making her gasp. The heat of it rolled along her skin, searing her until she was sure she would combust. It was almost painful, but not quite, and way too intense to be called pleasure.
“Come on, honey,” he whispered in a coaxing voice. “Let me in.”
“Gotta get my pants off,” she told him. She was breathless, almost incoherent.
“We will. Definitely. But that’s not what I mean. Let me in here.” He traced his finger over one temple, across her forehead to the other temple.
Lexi didn’t understand, but she was done trying to figure it out. Once they were both naked, it would all be fine. She was sure of it, so she went for the button on his jeans, trying to get him on the same page.
“Oh, no, you don’t,” he told her. “Not yet. We’re going to do this right.”
“Right. Right now. What’s the difference? You’re killing me.”
An arrogant grin tilted his mouth. How could he smile when she was about to go up in flames? That gnawing need inside her was growing, like a hungry, living thing. If she didn’t feed it soon, she was sure it would consume her.
She’d never felt anything like this before. The more she got, the more she needed.
Lexi tried to pop open that button again, but Zach gathered her hands and pressed them against his hot chest. His muscles were rigid and vibrating with tension.
He closed his eyes and another jolt of energy shot through her, arcing from where his ring touched the back of her hand, up her arm, to the luceria around her throat. She heard the energy pop and sizzle in the quiet cabin; then it ripped down her spine and all she heard was her own shocked cry.
The hungry thing inside her lunged for that power, consuming it and growing as it did. It pounded at her mind, demanding entrance, but Lexi resisted, keeping the doors on herself closed and locked like Mom had taught her.
Pressure built inside her head until it became painful. She couldn’t breathe right.
Something was terribly wrong.
Zach pulled away from her, and Lexi let out a frantic scream, trying to pull him back. She needed him to fix this hunger inside her. To fill her up. But he didn’t budge.
“Whoa, honey. Easy. Slow down.”
Lexi couldn’t. Slow wasn’t going to fix this need clawing inside her, the pressure that threatened to split her skin open.
A concerned frown wrinkled Zach’s dark face. “Lexi? What’s wrong?”
“Need . . .” She didn’t know what she needed, just that he had it. “Something.”
His wide hand smoothed her hair back from her sweaty forehead. “Shh. Relax. It’s okay.”
“Doesn’t feel okay.”
“You’re fighting it. Don’t fight it.”
She was fighting not to fly apart. “What the hell are you talking about?”
“It’s the luceria trying to bond us together. Don’t fight it. Just let go.”
“If I knew how, I would.”
“I can show you. Let me slide inside your mind, just a little, okay?”
Inside her mind? Like hell. She had too many secrets. She couldn’t let him see them.
It took her a second to realize that was what he’d been talking about all along, telling her to let him in. He had been the one trying to breach her mental defenses, not some imaginary beast.
“You still don’t trust me.” It wasn’t a question. His voice was flat with disappointment and resentment. “Fuck.”
He rolled over and covered his eyes with his forearm. Now that he wasn’t touching her, some of that desperation pounding at her started to ease.
She pulled in a full breath. Another. Slowly, the tightness in her skin abated.
Lexi risked a glance at him. His beautiful chest was rising and falling with his rapid breathing. A sheen of sweat shone over his hard muscles, and the bare branches of the tree quivered and bowed as if straining to get closer to her. His whole body was tight, resonating in time with her own feral sexual need, and his erection strained against the front of his jeans.
She stared at that thick bulge a moment too long and her mouth began to water. She wanted to take back up where they left off, without all the mind games. “Why would you do that?” she asked. “Why would you try to poke around in my head when I was more than happy to let you inside my body?”