“When will we head where all the other bikers are?”
“Tomorrow,” he said, keeping his eyes closed and his head resting against the hot tub. “It’ll give us a full day to check out the area, see where people are congregating and figure out the gang hangouts. Most people stay near the campgrounds or in the area in town where the vendors are. We’ll go there first.”
“Okay. And if we find the Fists?”
“You can look them over and see if you can spot the guy who stabbed Larks.”
“And if I do?”
“We’ll notify local authorities that he’s a suspect in a murder in Missouri. They’ll detain him.”
“And if they don’t?”
AJ smiled. “You ask a lot of questions.”
“I like to know all the details so I can plan ahead.”
He sat straight up. “You won’t be able to plan ahead for something like this. Whatever happens, count on it being unpredictable. If we can even find the Fists . . . and your phantom killer.”
“He’s not a phantom. I saw him.”
“I believe you. But there’s only a small chance he’s here.”
“Oh, he’s here all right. What a great place to hide out. The Fists . . . and this guy . . . have no idea what’s going on with the investigation back home. For all they know someone has fingered him for Larks’s murder, so they want to be as far away from that as possible.”
He shrugged. “We’ll see. Don’t be disappointed if we don’t find either him or the Fists here.”
“And I’m going to say ‘I told you so’ when we find them both.”
AJ laughed and stretched out his legs, brushing her feet again. He pulled back. Again.
Teresa frowned. “I’m not that fragile, AJ. You can touch me.”
“I don’t want to give you the impression I’m after something.”
She cocked a brow. “So you’re saying you don’t find me attractive?”
He rolled his eyes. “I think you know better than that. You know I want you. I’ve always wanted you.”
“You said you wanted me ten years ago, too. You used amazing restraint in walking away from me.”
“More than you’ll ever know. I didn’t want to leave.”
“But you did.”
“I was a criminal. I knew where I was headed and I didn’t want to take you with me.”
“How . . . noble of you.”
She sounded bitchy and knew it, but old hurts had arisen and she didn’t know how to shove them back down where they belonged.
“I could have fucked you that night. Hell, it’s what we both wanted.”
“Instead, you let someone else take what you’d waited years to have. Did you ever wonder who was my first, AJ?”
The darkness hid his eyes, but she felt the tension clear across the hot tub. “All the time.”
Maybe she wanted him to feel some of the misery she’d felt after he dumped her and left her wondering what it was that was lacking in her that caused him to walk away from something so good.
And what exactly was the point of dredging this up again? To hurt him? She’d succeeded. Or was she just trying to drive a wedge between them so he wouldn’t get too close? God knew she was famous for that, using any excuse to keep men at arm’s length.
Distance, always distance.
“I’m sorry I hurt you, Teresa. If there had been any other way to do it I would have. And I could have taken your virginity that night, but I already knew I was going to leave. And I wasn’t going to take you with me. So which would have been worse?”
She shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about the past anymore, AJ. I’m the one who’s sorry. It was petty of me and I shouldn’t have brought it up.”
What had started out fun and light had turned deep and dark and miserable. She hated the damper she’d put on this evening, wished she could do something to lighten things up again.
AJ moved over to her side of the hot tub, occupying space on the same bench.
“I don’t mind being held accountable for what I did to you. I deserve every bit of what you throw at me.”
She tilted her head back to stare up into his dark eyes. “You did what you thought was right at the time. And I won’t deny that it hurt, but the sensible part of me understands why you did it.”
He touched her nose with the tip of his finger. “The sensible part of you isn’t what I hurt.”
“True enough. But we can’t go back and change what is. We can only look forward.”
He was close, but his body still didn’t touch hers. The heat of the water and AJ being so close reminded her why they were in this hot tub in the first place.
Time to leave all things in the past behind and move toward an uncertain future, and the only way to do that was to let go.
She scooted closer to him until their thighs touched, acutely aware that neither of them were clothed. Her breath caught at the contact, but she was more interested in what was happening with his body under the water than she was in her own reaction to being this close to a naked man.
There was no violence in this situation, and what had happened to her before hadn’t been about sex. The logical part of her mind knew this. It was time to get her body in line with what her mind knew. She wanted sex again, wanted to feel good and hot and have a man’s hands and mouth all over her and not think about that time five years ago.
She half turned, dragging one leg up onto the bench so she faced AJ. “Where’s Pax?”
AJ turned to her. “Inside.”
“Why?”
“Because we don’t want to overwhelm you.”
She cocked a brow. “Did you flip a coin?”
“No.”
“Oh. I see.”
“What do you see?”
“Look, AJ. I know you like me. We go way back. Obviously you’re the one stuck with babysitting the fractured woman.”
He snorted out a laugh. “Is that how you see it?”
She looked away. AJ tipped her chin to face him.
“You’re wrong.” He let go of her. “Hey, Pax,” he yelled. “Come on out here a second.”
Teresa grabbed his arm. “What are you doing?”
“Pax!”
Pax showed up in the doorway. “What? There’s a game on. Cleveland is up, bottom of the ninth and bases are loaded. This better be important.”
“Teresa thinks I’m the one out here with her because I pulled the short straw.”
She wanted to slide under the water until she drowned.
Pax shifted his gaze to her. “Is that what she thinks?”
“Yeah, that’s what she thinks,” AJ said.
Pax pushed off the wall and came over to the other side of the hot tub and kneeled down next to her. He slid his fingers to the nape of her neck and turned her head to face him. “Babe, you couldn’t be more wrong about that.”
He slid his mouth over hers and she gasped at the contact, the rush of heat, the unexpected flood of hunger that washed over her as his tongue invaded her mouth. This was no gentle kiss. It was need and desire and—oh dear God—he told her in that kiss that he wanted her. His fingers slid up into her hair to hold her steady, gently and yet with undeniable, masterful dominance, the kind a woman wants from a man when he’s kissing her.
When he pulled away, Teresa was slack-jawed, out of breath, and could only stare into Pax’s liquid chocolate eyes and wish he were naked and in the tub with her right now.
“I’m going to head to the store for a few things. I’ll be back later.”
He pushed off and left her with AJ.
TEN
OH, GOD. AJ HAD BEEN WATCHING. TERESA WHIPPED HER HEAD around to find AJ studying her with a mixture of curiosity and desire in his eyes. She licked her lips, wanting to touch them with her fingers, but not wanting to give him the wrong idea. Her mouth tingled from Pax’s kiss. Hell, her entire body tingled, from her nipples to her pussy, which had fired to life in such a major way.
There’d been no fear in that kiss, only wonder and joy and need.
She wanted more, but she was also confused as hell.
“You liked that kiss?” AJ said.
How was she supposed to answer that? Honestly, she supposed. “Yes.”
AJ’s lips curled upward. “Good.”
She leaned back, studying him. “It doesn’t bother you that I kissed him.”
“Hell no. Watching you kiss Pax was hot.”
“I don’t know whether to be shocked or insulted or . . . something else entirely.”
He reached out and smoothed his wet hand over her hair. “Why would you be insulted?”
“Most men are possessive and jealous, wouldn’t want to see a woman they’re . . . with . . . being touched or kissed by another man.”
“Pax isn’t just another man. If it were any other guy, then hell yeah I’d be pissed. He and I have been friends a long time. There’s no jealousy between us.”
“Why not?”
AJ shrugged. “There just isn’t. What’s mine is his. What’s his is mine.”
“You share your women all the time?”
“All the time.”
“Why?”
“When we first joined the Wild Riders, he and I got close, became friends. We have similar tastes in women, so we found ourselves going after the same women all the time. And then we ended up with the same woman one night. And it worked out for us. Then it happened again, and it was something we both enjoyed, so why not?”
“And neither one of you gets jealous.”
“No. Why would we?”
“Obviously you’ve never been in love.”
AJ’s eyes went stormy gray. “Yeah, I have.”
Teresa looked away, then back at him. “That was a long time ago. We were kids then.”
“We’re not kids now.”
“You don’t love me now.”
She expected him to look away, to change the subject.
“I’ll always love you, Teresa. You were there for me when no one else was. You were the first—the only—girl I ever cared about. But that whole love and permanence and forever thing? I realized a long time ago it’s not for me. I can’t offer that kind of lifestyle to a woman. My job takes me everywhere. I’d never be there for the kids. And I’m not going to ignore my wife and have my children end up resenting me. Children should feel wanted and appreciated and loved.”
She swept her hand across his jaw. “You don’t want to be lonely and cast aside like you were as a kid.”
He lifted his gaze to hers, and she saw the pain that had been there when he was younger. “Something like that. I’d like to think I learned a thing or two from the mistakes my parents made.”
“Your stepfather was an asshole and your mother was heartless.”
AJ laughed. “Yeah, he was. As far as my mom, she was needy and depended on him for her sense of self. And he played on her weaknesses. I don’t want to be like that.”
“You’re not.”
He let out a soft laugh. “Don’t be so sure. You haven’t been around me in a while.”
“Who you were then hasn’t changed in here.” She laid her hand on his chest and felt the strong, solid beat. “That night you and I . . . in the truck. On my birthday. Then, I didn’t understand what you did.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, I do understand now. It took me a while, and I was hurt that you left me. But I realized later that neither of us was ready for that step, and that you were the one who put a stop to it. I was full of dreams for you and me. I was full of forever. And that wasn’t you.”
“I had decided where I was going and it wasn’t a place you wanted to be. I would have ruined you.”