This morning the poor came, according to my invitation; and I sent them
away with glad hearts to the number of twenty-five. There were not above
twelve or fourteen on Sunday, that John divided the silver among, which
I gave him for that purpose; but others got hold of the matter, and made
up to the above number. Tuesday. My generous master has given me, this morning, a most considerate, but
yet, from the nature of it, melancholy instance of his great regard for
my unworthiness, which I never could have wished, hoped for, or even
thought of. He took a walk with me, after breakfast, into the garden; and a little
shower falling, he led me, for shelter, into the little summer-house,
in the private garden, where he formerly gave me apprehensions; and,
sitting down by me, he said, I have now finished all that lies on my
mind, my dear, and am very easy: For have you not wondered, that I have
so much employed myself in my library? Been so much at home, and yet not
in your company?--No, sir, said I; I have never been so impertinent as
to wonder at any thing you please to employ yourself about; nor would
give way to a curiosity that should be troublesome to you: And, besides,
I know your large possessions; and the method you take of looking
yourself into your affairs, must needs take up so much of your time,
that I ought to be very careful how I intrude upon you.
Well, said he, but I'll tell you what has been my last work I have taken
it into my consideration, that, at present, my line is almost extinct;
and that the chief part of my maternal estate, in case I die without
issue, will go to another line, and great part of my personal will fall
into such hands, as I shall not care my Pamela should be at the
mercy of. I have, therefore, as human life is uncertain, made such a
disposition of my affairs, as will make you absolutely independent and
happy; as will secure to you the power of doing a great deal of good,
and living as a person ought to do, who is my relict; and shall put
it out of any body's power to molest your father and mother, in the
provision I design them, for the remainder of their days: And I have
finished all this very morning, except to naming trustees for you; and
if you have any body you would confide in more than another, I would
have you speak. I was so touched with this mournful instance of his excessive goodness
to me, and the thoughts necessarily flowing from the solemn occasion,
that I was unable to speak; and at last relieved my mind by a violent
fit of weeping; and could only say, clasping my arms around the dear
generous man, How shall I support this! So very cruel, yet so very kind!