I throw my legs out of the bed, deciding to go to him. Sometimes, during the night, he lets me curl up beside him and fall asleep. I’ve begun to crave that comfort. I tiptoe out into the hall and turn to the left, heading towards William’s room. I round a corner when I see him with Number Ten. She’s sobbing, and his hand is resting on her shoulder. I stop and step back, listening as he speaks to her.
“Your past does not define you, Number Ten. Only you can choose what makes you you. He cannot hurt you here, nobody can.”
“I feel so dirty,” she sobs. “It doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t wash the memories away.”
“But you can be stronger than them,” he urges.
“I don’t know how, William.”
“With strength, with belief, with trust. You will learn to accept what happened in your past, and you will learn to fight past it to make yourself a better person. That girl, she’s not you anymore.”
“Thank you,” she murmurs, lifting her tear soaked face to look up at him.
He strokes her cheek. “I am here to support all of you, if you give me your trust, I will not let you down.”
My chest swells with an emotion so intense, my throat becomes tight. He’s helping her believe that she’s more than what her past made her. He’s teaching her that she’s strong enough to beat it. I adore him for that. He turns and sees me standing in the hall, and his eyes soften.
“Number Thirteen,” he says, quietly. “Are you ok?”
“I just...I had a bad dream and I was taking a walk.”
He smiles. “You know, Number Ten had a bad dream, too. Maybe you girls would like to join me on the balcony for some tea?”
I adore him even more right then.
“I like that idea,” I smile.
“Me too,” Number Ten whispers, smiling weakly at me.
William walks over, taking my hand and running his thumb over my palm. He stares at me, giving me a deep, long look. Then he turns and offers a hand to Number Ten. She takes it wearily and together we walk out onto the balcony for some tea.
He’s making it all better, one step at a time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
“Master William is out today, but you’re more than welcome to enjoy the day with the other girls,” Bill says as we walk down the halls a few days after William and I spent the night chatting on the balcony with Number Ten.
“Thank you.” I smile weakly. “I’ll do that.”
I had a long, horrible night and my emotions feel shot. I keep dreaming of Lanthie, and while each day I learn to accept it more, I still struggle to deal with what happened. Today, I just don’t feel like talking with anyone. I just want . ILanthie, to be alone, so I go to the only place I know I can have my peace – the library. William and I spend a great deal of time together in the big, warm space. It’s our space. The only place where we can just be William and Emelyn. He tells me about his life and in there, he smiles for me. Real smiles. Striking smiles. Smiles that transform his face.
When I reach the library I step inside, only to come to a skidding stop. Benjamin is sitting on the couch, reading a book, one long leg crossed over the other. His messy hair is curling around his ears and he’s wearing workout clothes; a sweatshirt, pants that do really great things to his legs, and sneakers. He hears me shuffle as I try to sneak back out, and he lifts his head.
“Emelyn.” He smiles, big and bright. He always seems happy to see me. I’m not really sure why, we don’t really know each other, but his face lights up when I’m in the room.
“I’m sorry,” I say, backing up but giving him a small smile. “I didn’t know anyone was in here.”
He chuckles, shrugging. “It’s okay, sweetheart. Come in, sit down—I’ll play nice.”
I shift nervously. “Does William know you’re here?”
He shakes his head. “George knows I’m here. I’ll see Will when he gets back. Keep me company while I wait.”
I hesitate. William wouldn’t like me spending time with Ben, I’m almost sure of it, but I find myself walking towards him anyway. He notices my wary expression and laughs, patting the seat beside him.
“I swear, I won’t bite.”
I smile weakly, and sit myself down next to him. He smiles, and shows me the book he’s holding and I beam. He’s reading To Kill A Mockingbird. It’s one book I find myself in here reading over and over again, fascinated with the brilliance of the writing and the story. Seeing Ben read it makes my chest swell with happiness, and a certain sense of kinship. I shift closer to him.
“Do you like it?”
“Atticus is a legend.” He grins.
I giggle softly. “You know, he became a very well-known character.”
He winks at me. “I can see why.”
“So, why are you here in William’s library?”
He keeps his eyes on my face. “I like it in here. I’ve always been fascinated by his collection of books. Most people like one or two things, but not Will. He just has a bit of everything.”
“He’s quite complex,” I say, staring around the beautiful space.
“Indeed. So tell me about yourself, Emelyn?”
I stiffen, and if he notices, he doesn’t say anything. “There’s really nothing to tell.”
He tilts his head to the side, pinning me with that intense blue gaze. He’s so like William, yet so completely different. “I find that hard to believe. What’s your family like?”