"Dad…" He said dryly. The word felt odd inside his mouth and on his tongue. It felt like it didn't belong.
"Of… Ahem… Sir I was wondering…"
Pause.
"Yea?"
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
"Hello?"
"Yea… I'm here…"
Pause.
"Ahem… It's just… You know of… I was wondering…"
Pause.
"'Yea you said that…" Jayden could hear the impatience in his voice; or was it fear? Was the man afraid that he was calling to ask for something; ask for some money? Jayden lost his nerve again.
"Just that… you know… The thing is… Ahem."
Pause.
"I mean… You know… I was wondering… Do you think that… I… could… maybe… I mean… maybe… come and stay with you?" He allowed the last part to glide out in a rush on bated breath.
Dead Air.
Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
Dead Air. The longer it took his father to respond, Jayden realized what the answer was already. No amount of words could ever express how low he felt as a child, a son or a human being. Being rejected by a parent was the ultimate rejection in life. Jayden felt worthless. More than the hopelessness that he had felt when he had mouthed off to his mom just minutes ago; feeling worthless was a million times worse. Jayden wanted to die. For a moment he thought, maybe it would have been best if his mom had "gotten rid" of him like his father had requested seventeen years ago. That way he would never have known that there are some things in life that are far worse than dying; this was one of them.
"Hello?" Had his father hung up, Jayden questioned himself after minutes had ticked by with no response.
"Yea I'm here…" Jacob said dryly.
"Did you hear me?" Jayden asked weakly. He felt awkward and was wishing he had never asked, but again just like with his mother earlier he had passed the point of no return. He had no other choice but to see this through to the very end. Sweat poured from his pores, why had he thought this was a good idea. What had he thought about his mom? Did he really believe for an instant that this was his mother's fault? Jayden knew that he had gotten his face cracked. He knew that his father's absenteeism in his life had nothing to do with his mom or him. It was all about Jacob Ellis. It was all about the man's own selfishness; and that had nothing to do with either him or his mother.