“Bad girl” I scolded her. “I know how we can fix that.” I had been dying for this moment. I didn’t like when anyone broke the rules but I knew what would come after would be sheer bliss. I licked my lips at the sight of her, playing with the belt in my hands. “Lay down” I motioned towards the bed. She didn’t hesitate for a second. She slid her body past mine, making sure to brush her naked chest against mine. She crawled across my bed, laying in the center. I couldn’t look away. I followed her, crawling over top of her body, careful not to rest any weight on her. I slid the belt slowly over her stomach and lightly over her chest. “Give me your hands.” She placed them in front of me. I slowly looped the belt around them and pulled them above her head, securing them to the headboard. I wanted to feel her hands on me but I couldn’t. I couldn’t let anyone touch me. It would hurt too much in the absence of their hands. “That’s better” I whispered in her ear. I trailed tiny kisses down her jaw as gooseflesh followed. My mouth found hers quickly. This I could allow myself. Her tongue pushed back against mine and my hips involuntarily bucked against her in response. I had her right where I wanted her and she had me.
I slid my hands lower, pushing at her jeans, careful to leave her panties in place. Not wanting to push too much too soon. I thought of the fact that I didn’t give her a safe word. I didn’t want to scare her. If she told me to stop, I would, without hesitation. I lowered myself, kissing my way down her chest, paying special attention to her hardened nipples. She began panting, her chest rising and falling hard beneath my lips. “Shhhh…” I whispered against her causing gooseflesh under my breath. I slid my hand lower, rubbing over the delicate fabric of her panties. She melted under my touch. A deep moan escaped her throat. I stilled immediately. “I warned you.” I smiled as she looked pained, longing for me to touch her again. I lifted myself off her. “Roll over.” I commanded but she didn’t move. “Now!” I hissed. She flipped over onto her stomach. I slowly slid her jeans over her hips and threw them across the room. My hands had been aching to touch her again. I slid my hands over her bottom as I struggled to not come at the very sight of her. I allowed my fingers to dip between her legs causing her breath to hitch. As she took another breathe I brought my hand down across her backside. She shrieked at the sudden contact. “Shhh…” I warned her, testing her. I brought my hand down again. She didn’t make a sound and I couldn’t help but smile proudly. I rubbed over the pink mark and kissed it gently. I swatted her one last time. She remained silent. I leaned over her and whispered in her ear. “Good girl” I unzipped my jeans and pulled them off, anxious to be closer to her. “Now you get a reward” I lowered my body onto her, placing myself between her legs. I pushed against her and to my surprise her body pushed back into mine. “You want me?” I asked, hardly able to speak.
“Yes” She panted and my hips flexed against her.
“Yes what?” I needed to hear her say it.
“Yes, Sir” She moaned. I had to pull back from her. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from finishing if I didn’t.
“Not yet.” I replied as I forced myself to leave her. She tugged at the belt that bound her hands. “Rollover” I commanded. I didn’t hesitate this time. I rolled back over to face him. I waited for the shock to wash over her as she gazed upon me naked, stroking myself. “Spread your legs” I commanded. She slowly moved her legs. “Wider” I yelled, a little harsher than I intended. She did, her eyes never leaving my hand. I searched her eyes for any sign of fear, any sign of regret. There was none.
I crawled over her, positioning myself between her legs. I rubbed over her panties, mirroring the action of my other hand. She pushed back against my fingers. Her eyes closed. I began to quicken my pace. “Look at me.” My voice was low and came out as a growl. She gasped but didn’t make another sound. I leaned in and brushed my lips across her inner thigh. She squirmed beneath my lips. I held her legs in place as I moved my mouth along her panty line. I slid them to the side and slowly began to tease her with my tongue. Her body arched and pushed back against me. I slid my finger inside of her, preparing her for me. I continued to work over her with my tongue as I moved my finger more rapidly. As her hips steadied their rhythm with my finger, I slid another inside of her. I could feel her walls tightening around me as her sweet juices filled my mouth. Her body shook below me as pure pleasure swept through her. I withdrew, licking the juices from my fingers as I crawled up the length of her body. “You taste amazing. I want you to taste how amazing you are.” I kissed her hard, forcing my tongue inside her mouth. I knew she would resist but I didn’t care. In here, I was in charge. In here, it was my rules. She struggled against my mouth as she pushed against me. I grinded my hips harder against her. She bucked against me, now returning my kiss, forcefully. I looped my fingers in her delicate yellow panties and pulled, causing them to tear apart in my fingers. I pressed against her, letting her feel me at her entrance. I kissed her, moving painfully slow. Her body tensed around me. I held still waiting for her to relax a little more. I kissed her slowly, tenderly until I felt her grow more at ease, slowly rocking her hips towards mine. “Harder?” I asked, not wanting to hurt her more than I knew I would. If not here in the bedroom, then later when she realized what kind of man I really am.
“Yes” She moaned, arching her bottom into me. I pushed again and again until I was fully inside of her. She tugged on the belt and I was glad I had secured her tightly. I suddenly stopped, stilling myself inside of her as I caught my breath. I pulled out of her as confusion washed over her face. I grabbed a condom from my side drawer and made quick work of putting it in place, wanting desperately to be against her again.
“If I get too rough you need to let me know.” I warned her. She bit her lip and nodded, but I needed to hear her say it. To make sure she understood. “Answer me!” I commanded. I pushed against her, teasing her.
“Yes, Sir” She moaned. I couldn’t control myself as the words spilled out of her lips. I entered her fully, needing to feel her around me. I reached between our bodies, rubbing her, desperate to feel her walls tighten around me again. It didn’t take long. She bucked against me as I kept pace, wanting to ensure she was pleased. It occurred to me that it had been a very long time since I had put someone else’s pleasure before mine. She tightened around me and I pushed harder, finding my release in time with hers.
I collapsed onto her, reaching up to lazily untie her hands.
Chapter Thirteen
I pulled myself off her and began pulling on my jeans, running my hands through my hair. What had I done? I allowed myself to steal a glance at her. She lay sprawled out on my once white sheets, rubbing her wrists gingerly. The small spattering of crimson marring the vision of an angel. I grabbed her clothing and tossed them to her, not wanting to look at what I had done any longer.
I grabbed the small torn piece of fabric that was once her panties and slipped them into my dresser. I left the room without glancing back at her. She deserved better.
I poured a drink and swallowed it quickly, running a hand roughly through my hair. I sickened myself. Just as I was wallowing in my own self-pity, two delicate arms wound themselves around my waist. My stomach turned at the intimate contact. I wanted to apologize to her, to beg her forgiveness but the words wouldn’t come. “Don’t” was all I could manage.
“Did I do something wrong?” She asked. Her words cut through me. How could she think she did something wrong? What kind of fucking monster was I? I couldn’t breathe. I drank down another shot. My mind raced as my body grew numb. “I’m going to go. I don’t live far from here.” Her voice muffled in comparison to my own thoughts as I cursed myself.
The next sound I heard was the sound of the front door closing and Emma was gone. It was the middle of the night and I was so wrapped up in my own misery that I let her leave.
Without a second thought, I chased after her. I got in my car and made my way down the main road. It took only a moment to see her, a perfect fallen angel walking amongst us unworthy humans. My headlights creating an angelic halo around her. I hated myself for prowling after her. I told myself it was for her. It wasn’t safe for her to be out at this time of night. The truth was, it was less safe for her with me.
“Get in” I yelled but she began to walk faster. “Get in” I called out again.
“Fuck off” She yelled at me, her face full of disgust. I slammed the car into park, my anger beginning to boil over. I jumped out of the car, wearing only my jeans. She stopped, looking at me as if I scared her. I should. “Leave me alone!” She pushed passed me. I clenched my fists and went after her.
“Let’s go!” I said, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the car. Why was she being so goddamn stubborn? Did she not know what kind of men were on these streets? I was on these streets. I opened the door and waited. She quit fighting against me and slid inside, defeated. I closed her door and made my way around the car. Clenching my jaw, I slammed the door behind me. She jumped at the sound. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. I didn’t want to scare her.
“I shouldn’t have let you leave.” I said, trying to sound calm.
“Which time?” She asked, her words filled with hatred. I gripped the steering wheel tightly, trying to keep my composure.
“I’m no good for you, Emma.” She looked at me, holding my gaze briefly. I hoped she could see the regret in my eyes.
“Yeah, I get it. You don’t want me.” She was on the verge of tears. Her words hurt. It was like being slapped in the face. Something I deserved.
“I don’t want you?” I couldn’t help but laugh, darkly. “Emma, I just had you.” She had no idea how badly I wanted her. More from her than I would ever allow myself to take. “Is that what you wanted for your first time? Some person tying you up? Fucking you and humiliating you?” I was disgusted with myself.
“That’s obviously not what I pictured but I… enjoyed myself.” She replied shyly. Her words travelled through me, stirring something primal inside of me.
“I know you did.” She bit her lip and tucked her hair behind her ear. What the fuck am I doing?
“It’s not like we couldn’t try it again.” Her face flushed red. I swallowed hard. I couldn’t let her make this mistake again. I shook my head. She grabbed for the door, ready to run.
“Emma!” my voice came out panicked, I grabbed her arm, desperate to keep her from leaving. “I didn’t mean I don’t want to do it again, I just can’t give you what you want. I can’t give you what you deserve. What happened back there is all I know. There will never be anything more than that with me. I do not get close to people. I don’t care for people.” I lied. I was a fucking liar and a coward.
“Then why are you here? Why not just let me walk home?” She could see right through me.
“I don’t know.” I replied, letting her arm slip from my fingers. I knew what she wanted to hear. A fucking coward.
“Good night, Mr. Honor.” She slipped out into the darkness.
“William” I called after her, wanting to show her she was right about me, that deep down somewhere she had broken through. There was something different about her. Something special.
“What?” She asked, turning back towards me.
“My name is William. Please get back in the car. It’s not safe out here for you.” I would never forgive myself if something happened to her. She stood there, deciding which fate would be worse. “Please” My pulse quickened as she took a step closer to the car.
We rode silently through the city as I took her to her aunt’s house. I relished in the last few minutes of smelling the flower scent that lingered around her. Her house was empty and dark, but Emma didn’t seemed phased by it. I’m guessing she was left to her own accord more often than not.