My head began to throb in time with my frantic breathing. I deserved it. I told the man I loved that I hated him and now he lay unconscious. I felt like a monster. I sagged into the chair placed next to the bed for visitors. I suddenly wondered if there had been any other visitors before me. What if that woman showed up here?
Tears pricked my eyes and I used my free hand to dash them away. The lump in my throat was growing and I swallowed hard as I thought about how f**ked up my world had become.
I was angry and said things I didn’t mean to William, but I was afraid of what other secrets I might uncover. I shook the thought from my head. I had plenty of time to figure out what I would do about our relationship after he woke up. Right now, I just wanted to see his beautiful blue eyes.
He looked peaceful and as if today’s events were not weighing heavy on his mind. I was thankful for that. His physical pain would be enough. He didn’t need the mental torment on top of it. I squeezed his hand and leaned closer to him.
“I love you, William,” I whispered. I had hoped that the words would bring some sort of response from him but he lay perfectly still. Not even a flicker of emotion played on his face. I sighed and lay back in the chair, closing my eyes. How did we come to this point? I was beginning to feel like I was destined to be alone.
I wasn’t a religious person. My parents were Christian but we never went to church on Sundays. Part of me wished they had just so I would have someone to turn to in a time like this. I pushed the thought out of my head. If there was a God, he was the one making me suffer.
My mother was a good person. She worked hard and did what she thought was right. That didn’t stop my family from being erased from my life by a drunk driver. I shivered at the thought. I wouldn’t even allow myself to think of the fact that the drunk driver was my own father.
I could feel the rage bubbling inside of me again. He was a hardworking man, always doing everything he could to make ends meet. His life was stressful and he relieved that stress by unwinding with a bottle of Jack. I didn’t blame him. No matter how hard he tried, something always went wrong. My mother didn’t understand. She would fight with him about never being around. The fights would escalate out of control at times. She should have listened to him when he told her to stop. She never listened to him. He was good man, deep down. He treated me like a princess, never mean or cold like he was to my mother. It was because I listened to him. She pushed him over the edge. After they would fight, he would leave for hours at a time. If she would have just listened, he would have been around more.
The night of the accident, they had argued for about an hour. I remember sitting on the couch and flipping through the channels on the television, doing my best to block them out. My father grabbed his keys to leave again, as he always did. Taking a swig from his nearly empty bottle of Jack, he pushed past my mother and made his way to the car. My mother ran after him and jumped in the passenger side. She was determined to force him to spend time with her. That was the last time I saw them alive.
I wanted to escape, run away from everything. That is what I did after my parents passed away and look what it got me. Not that I had a choice. I was forced to live with my aunt even though it was obvious I could have done a better job on my own.
Chapter Sixteen
The door to William’s room squeaked open and I quickly wiped away my tears. A doctor stepped in, glancing over a clipboard in his hands. His eyes caught mine and he gave me a sympathetic smile.
“I’m Doctor Johnson. You’re his next of kin?”
I thought quickly. “I’m his fiancé,” I said.
“We need to take William here for some tests. His first scans show some swelling and a subdural hematoma. He also has some cracked ribs and mild abrasions. We need to repeat the CAT scan to see about his head injury,” he explained. “After that, we’ll get him up and into a room of his own.”
I nodded and tried to smile politely at him, swiping a tear from my cheek. I glanced over at William before forcing myself to release his hand.
A nurse and orderly were soon at the doctor’s side and they began pushing William’s bed from the room. I stood, not sure if my heart could take the separation, but my feet wouldn’t allow me to follow. Not that I would have been allowed to go with him.
I glanced around the room. There was another bed on the far side. I made my way to it and climbed in. I need to rest my eyes. Really, I needed to break down while I had a moment alone. I snuggled my face into the pillow and began to sob.
I had no idea where I should go with my life now. The thought of going back to my aunt’s house made me sick. I didn’t know if William was going to be okay and if he would even want me around. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to be around. Everything was just… wrong now. The few friends I had were off on vacation celebrating their new lives, and I lay crying, alone. I sobbed harder, burying my face in the stark white pillow.
After a while, I had run out of tears to cry. I was drained and didn’t want to think about the day’s events. I drifted off, burying my overwhelming sadness in sleep.
When I awoke, William’s bed was back beside mine. I jumped up and rushed to his side. He was still sleeping peacefully. I ran my hand over a bandage near his temple. The tears began to prick my eyes again and I shook my head, forcing myself to be strong.
A nurse entered the room and tilted her head towards me. She was carrying a tray of food. My stomach growled at the smell of it.
“I thought you might be hungry.” She smiled and sat the tray on the cart next to me.
I gave her a small smile in return. “Thank you.”
She nodded and walked towards the machines to check William’s vitals.
“Is he… okay?” I was terrified to hear the answer.
“His tests look good.” She paused. “Are you related to Mr. Honor?”
I swallowed hard, hoping she wasn’t about to kick me out of his room.
“He is my fiancé,” I said again, since this was a different nurse. I pulled my hands down to my lap when she tried to check my hand for a ring. “We just got engaged.” I smiled weakly. “He doesn’t have anyone one else here,” I added hoping that would convince her. She nodded.
“The doctor can explain his injuries; he’ll be in to see you in a bit, and we’ll be moving Mr. Honor upstairs to a room.”
I nodded and wiped at my eyes. All of this was too much to absorb.
“You should eat something,” she said quietly and turned to leave the room.
I lifted the lid off the plate of food. It was mashed potatoes and some sort of turkey gravy mixture. I was starving. I began to slowly eat as something began to vibrate on the far side of his bed. Curious, I began to search for the noise. I opened the closet door and dug through a small bag in the bottom.
Inside was William’s clothing, his wallet and cell phone. The phone continued to buzz and the screen flashed. The caller I.D. said ‘A’. I held it to my chest for a moment, deciding whether or not to answer. Before I could make up my mind, it stopped. I let out the breath I had been holding.
Suddenly, it chirped with a new voicemail, causing me to jump in shock. I bit my lip as I wiped at the screen. I looked back at William and hit the button to listen.
I placed my finger over my open ear to block out the sound of the beeping. I stared at William’s stilled body as the message began to play.
“William, it’s me,” A silky voice purred from the other end of the line. My heart leapt into my throat. Who was this woman? “I’m sorry about earlier. I had no idea you would be there… with her.” My blood was boiling. It was Allison from the funeral. I wanted to jump through the phone and strangle her. “Anyway, I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I’d like it if you stopped by the club. Maybe I could let you take out some of your anger on me?” She laughed quietly and I squeezed my eyes closed. It cut through me like a knife.
The message ended and I blinked several times, pushing the tears back once again. I looked over at William, the fire inside me reignited. I wanted to scream at him, but he lay perfectly still.
I glanced down at the phone, pondering whether or not I should throw it against the wall.
It seemed like an eternity before the doctor came back into the room. I looked at him expectantly, waiting to see why William hadn’t woken up.
“Mr. Honor suffered a severe concussion. Right now, he is in a medically induced coma so the swelling in his brain can reduce. He has a subdural hemotoma. Basically, a bleeding bruise in his skull. We have given him a drug called Mannitol for the intracranial pressure. His CAT scan and MRI results look promising, but for now, we just need to keep an eye on him. He’ll be unconscious until the swelling goes down. At best, he’ll be here at least a week. Does he have any family?”
I nodded. “I’ll contact them,” I said quietly.
The doctor nodded after a final check on William, and left the room, leaving me alone with him.
Should I call his parents? I knew he was not on good terms with his father, but his mother cared deeply about him. That much was obvious. I bit my lip as I glanced back to William.
He may hate me to wake and find his father here, if he even came, but it would pale in comparison to the anger I felt right now. There was still no guarantee that he would even wake. I pushed the thought from my mind.
I had to call them. My stomach was in knots. I began to search William’s contact list. It strangely had mostly just letters of the alphabet. I continued to scroll and found a contact labeled ‘mine’. I clicked it and my number appeared. I smiled, breathing a sigh of relief that it wasn’t someone else. I scrolled further and found ‘mother’. I took a few calming breaths before clicking the call button.
It rang several times before it clicked and a woman’s voice filled my ears.
“Hello, sweet boy.” It was his mother. I swallowed hard.
“This is Emma.” She was silent for a moment.
“How are you dear? Is everything okay?” Her voice grew concerned with each word.
“There was an accident.”
I explained everything to Mrs. Honor, leaving out the other woman at my aunt’s funeral and the big fight we had had just before the crash. She assured me she would be on the next flight out. His father, however, may not be able to make it.
I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying anything about him. My nerves suddenly took over as I thought of being face to face with his parents again. Without him, it was libel to get very hard to deal with. His mother was kind and I knew she wouldn’t be a problem.
I sat back down on the chair next to William’s bed and ate the food. For a hospital, it was surprisingly good and I ate every bite.
People passed the room and I could hear them laughing and giggling. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to smile again. I felt empty, and even though William was at my side, he offered no comfort for my sadness.
A knock came at the door, jarring me from my pity party.
“If you’re finished with your tray,” a young man held out his hand. I nodded and he grabbed it, turning to leave as quickly as possible.
I sighed and looked over my surroundings. It seemed like forever before he was moved to a room. I grabbed the remote off the stand beside me and flipped through channels. It was going to be the longest week of my life.
Chapter Seventeen
The next day, I was waiting for William’s parents to arrive. I was scared his father would show, but I knew it would mean something to William to wake and see both of his parents.
I wiped my clammy palms over my jeans as William’s phone rang to life. The caller I.D. read ‘mother’. I answered it, trying hard to sound cheery and positive.
“We’ve just landed, dear. We should arrive in an hour or so.” She said ‘we’. My heart sank.
“Great. I look forward to seeing you.” I was lying. It’s not that I didn’t want them to come; I just didn’t want to deal with that ass**le while dealing with all of this.
I paced the floor for a bit, then finally, exhausted, sat down.
When the door cracked open almost an hour later, I felt my heart seize.
“Good news. The swelling appears to have subsided and we may be able to wake your fiancé soon enough.” The nurse beamed at me and I smiled back, wanting to jump for joy.
“Thank you!” I clasp my hands over my mouth to keep from shrieking. Just as I began to forget my nerves, the door pushed open wider. In walked William’s parents. His father was mumbling something about the substandard conditions of the hospital and Mrs. Honor looked sad. Her eyes were swollen and red like she had been crying the entire flight.
Gerald eyed me while he entered the room but didn’t say anything.
“Oh… sweet dear! How is my son?” Martha asked as her hands rested on either side of my face.
“He is doing much better. They think he is well enough to wake… soon.” I smiled as she pulled me in for a hug. It was awkward hugging someone I barely knew, but it felt good to be held. I let my arms slink around her back and squeezed her to me.
“So, what did he do this time?” Gerald sneered and glanced over at the bed.
“It was an accident.” I sniffed as I tried not to let my emotions take over. It would be too easy to take my frustrations out on his father. I was having a hard time containing my emotions. William was the one person who could make me feel in control when I was absolutely powerless. Now, I felt lost.
A doctor entered the room and turned his attention to Gerald. Martha looped her arm in mine and tugged me towards the door.
“Come on, dear. Let’s let the men talk.” She smiled up at me. I was hesitant to follow. I wanted to know what was going on and man or not, I deserved to know. She patted my arm and I let her pull me out into the hall. We made our way to the elevator and waited for the doors to open.