She holds me gently, using her tongue to circle the head. Then she takes it all the way into her mouth, her cheeks hollowing the deeper I go. I'm not sure if there's any sight in the world that can bring a man to his knees faster than this one.
"Do you know how beautiful you look?"
She looks up at me, teasingly, her lips stretched tight around my cock. Her tongue swirls and I clench my teeth. There's no way I can withstand too much more of her hot, sinful mouth before I lose it. And I really want this first time I come, for it to be inside her.
"Come here."
She gives one last final lick to the tip which sends another bolt of sensation up my spine. Then she crawls on top of me. I reach into the nightstand next to the bed and hand her the condom. This next step has to be her choice. I need to know that she really wants this.
She rips the package open and rolls it on slowly. Then she positions herself over me, her strong thighs flexing. I grasp the backs of her legs, until she pushes down and takes me deep in one long stroke. My belly clenches and I worry that I won't be able to hold out long enough to make her come again.
It's vitally important that I see that look on her face again. That's all I want in the world is for Rissa to be happy. Happy with me.
I rub my hands up the temptingly soft skin of her back and then grab on to the long curls flowing down her back. Her eyes pop open and she lets out another one of those little cries.
"You are so sexy. You never even knew what you did to me, did you? You never knew that you were my whole world."
Her eyes find mine and she shivers. "I didn't know. All I knew was that I wanted to be your everything. And I was never sure that I was enough."
The uncertainty in the words make me desperate to make her hear me, to know it now. I sit up and move us back so I'm propped against the headboard. The motion forces her down harder on my cock and her eyes drift shut as she takes it, her nails curling into the skin of my shoulder. The pain just enhances the pleasure. Pleasure and pain. We love each other and we hurt each other. It's the only way we know how to exist, Rissa and I.
"I was too stupid to show you then but there will never be a day that you don't know it now. I love you. I always have."
She's crying now and the sight of her tears just flays me. I couldn't be more vulnerable right now if she split me open and just yanked my heart right out of my chest. But the time for hedging bets is long past. If she leaves this earth knowing nothing else, she'll go with the knowledge that she's the reason why I breathe.
"Say it. Now. Finn loves me."
Her mouth falls open and she pants when I grip her hips and prevent her from moving. "Finn!" Her erotic cry is filled with desperation and a little bit of disbelief.
"Say it."
"You love me," she mumbles, barely getting the words out before her hips move against mine restlessly.
Her eyes flare as I pull her forward. As she rocks forward, I lift my hips and thrust deep. She throws her head back and screams my name, her internal muscles squeezing and pulsating as her orgasm rockets through her.
I want to hold out, make it last but the intense contractions as she falls apart around me are too much. As I fall over the cliff right after her, I look her in the eyes.
"And you may not be ready for this but I know you love me, too."
CHAPTER EIGHT
RISSA
I’m in Finn’s bed.
That’s the first thing I think when I wake in the morning. The next thing is that I’m warm. Finn has pulled me close and tangled our legs together while we slept.
Too much movement will wake him so I carefully roll to the side and pull my hair from beneath his arm. In sleep, Finn looks so peaceful. There’s no trace of the turmoil over the life changing things he said to me last night. He hadn't asked me to talk about it or expected me to say it back. I'm grateful for that because I'm honestly not sure what I'm feeling.
I grab a robe from the closet and then walk down the hallway, trying to be quiet. I'm used to getting up early for cleaning jobs but it's weird to be standing in the middle of Finn's living room in the early morning hours.
What am I doing?
I feel completely lost and alone standing there in my T-shirt and one of Finn's robes.
There’s a soft noise behind me and I turn. Finn is standing in the middle of the hallway in his boxers.
"Finn? I hope I didn't wake you."
"You didn't but I woke up and you weren't there." He walks across the room. At times like these when he's tired or caught off guard, his limp is even more pronounced. I look up to find that he's watching me. Watching me watch him. I quickly avert my eyes.
"You can ask."
"What?" I look out the window again, ashamed that he caught me staring.
"It's okay, Rissa. It's you … so it's okay. You can ask what happened."
“That wasn’t … Okay what happened?" It feels wrong and invasive that I want to know so badly. He's been through hell and I'm sure he doesn't want to relive it just to satisfy my insecure desire to know everything about him.
"It was an IED blast. Our truck was almost shredded and so was my leg. I'm lucky I still have it, actually."
"I’m sorry, Finn."
He pulls me into his arms and rests his head in the crook of my shoulder. “I barely remember it. Some people say that’s a blessing. But I’m not sure I agree. Without the memory, it’s like I just went to sleep one day and then woke up with pieces of my leg missing the next. It doesn’t make sense to me.”