"I was a fool," Thompson muttered.
"I wouldn't say that," Tommy responded gently. "A man couldn't resist
her. I've known a lot of women one way and another. I never knew one
could hold a candle to her. She has a mind like a steel trap, that girl.
She understood things in a flash, moods and all that. She'd make a real
chum, as well as a wife. Most women aren't, y'know. They're generally
just one or the other. No, I'd never call myself a fool for liking
Sophie too well. In fact a man would be a fool if he didn't.
"She likes men too," Tommy went on musingly. "She knew it. I suppose
she'll be friendly and curious and chummy, and hurt men without meaning
to until she finds the particular sort of chap she wants. Oh, well."
"How's the trapping?"
Thompson changed the subject abruptly. He could not bear to talk about
that, even to Tommy Ashe who understood out of his own experience, who
had exhibited a rare and kindly understanding.
"I've been wondering if I could make a try at that. I've got to do
something. I've quit the ministry."
Tommy looked at him for a second.
"Why did you get out?" he asked bluntly.
"I'm not fitted for it," Thompson returned. "I've been through hell for
four months, and I've lost something--some of that sublime faith that a
man must have. I'm not certain about a lot of things I have always taken
for granted. I'm not certain I have an immortal soul which is worth
saving, let alone considering myself peculiarly fitted to save other
people's souls. I'd be like a blind man leading people with good eyes.
It has come to seem to me that I've been trained for the ministry as a
carpenter is trained for his trade. I can't go on feeling like that. I'm
too much interested in my own personal salvation. I'm too keenly
conscious of a tremendous ignorance about tremendously important things
to continue setting myself up as a finger post for other men's spiritual
guidance. If I stay with the church now it seems to me it will only be
because I lack courage to get out and make my living along lines that
won't be so easy. I'd despise myself if I did that. So I've
resigned--quite a while ago, to be exact. I've been working for the H.B.
two months. That's why I asked about the trapping. I've been casting
about for what I'd best try next."
Tommy sat silent. When he did speak he touched very briefly on
Thompson's confession of faith--or rather the lack of it.
"When a man's heart isn't in a thing," said he, "it's better for him to
drop it. About the trapping, now--I don't think you'd do much at that
with the season so far along. This district is pretty well covered by
the natives. You'd get into difficulties right off the bat over setting
traps on their territory. They have a rude sort of understanding about
where their several trap lines shall run. And for some reason or other
furs are getting scarce. Up where young Lachlan and I were it was pretty
fair for awhile. We took some good skins. Lately we did a lot of
trap-tending for nothing much. I got fed up with it. Fact is, I'm about
fed up with this region. I think I'll pull out."