I moved off of her and sat on the edge of her bed. She adjusted her bra and shirt and sat next to me. She took a breath and asked, “Should we take a break from…us?”
I slowly nodded. “I can’t focus, Liza.”
“Neither can I. It’s getting harder,” she said, wiping her nose.
I took her hand and held it. Little did I know that would be the last time I’d kiss her.
“THANK YOU,” LIZA whispered.
I held her next to me, keeping my dick away, but still keeping her close enough that she felt safe. Growing up, anytime she had a nightmare she’d text me and I’d sneak in through her bedroom window to hold her until she fell asleep. I’d sit there and watch her sleep for a while before heading home. I think one of those nights was when it finally hit me—I loved her and would do anything for her.
The sound of her steady breathing relaxed me. Don’t fall asleep. I told myself. Do. Not. Fall. Asleep. My eyelids grew heavier as I closed them, telling myself I’d only sleep here for a few minutes.
BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.
What the fuck is that sound?
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It must have been Liza’s alarm. The moment she moved, my eyes sprung open. I was still holding her. I was still spooning Liza and my dick was pressed right against her. I was frozen. Too scared to move. Was she awake? She gently lifted my arm to move it off of her. Shit. I wondered if I should pretend to be asleep and spare us the embarrassment.
I kept my eyes closed as I listened to her move around the room. When I heard the bathroom door close, I rolled over and stared up at the ceiling. I sat up and swung my legs over and sat on the edge of the bed, but I couldn’t help thinking about holding Liza all night. All night. The girl of my dreams had been in my arms all night. I shook my head and quickly reached for my jeans, then went to my bag to get a T-shirt. I was startled when my phone buzzed with Jessica’s ring tone. I grabbed it from the desk and answered.
“Hello?”
“Hey, handsome. What are you doing?”
I ran my hand through my hair. Oh you know. Sleeping with another woman in my arms. “I’m in Kentucky, about to go look at some horses.”
Jessica laughed. “Sounds like loads of fun.”
“It’s my life now.”
She cleared her throat and asked, “Who are you with?”
I closed my eyes. “Layton and Liza.”
“Liza’s there? Why did she go?” Her voice was laced with hate.
Liza walked out of the bathroom, stopping to look at me. I watched as her eyes moved over my body. That’s when I realized I hadn’t put on my T-shirt yet.
“Hello? Are you going to answer me?”
“Um, to spend time with her dad, I guess.”
Liza and I just stared at each other. This wasn’t going to work. Us being together…alone.
Jessica made a funny sound and said, “Huh. Well, where are you right now? You sound distracted. Have you gone shopping for rings yet? When are you heading back to Texas?”
I turned away from Liza and whispered, “What the hell is this? Twenty questions?”
It sounded like she was crying. Ah hell.
“I’m going to be coming home early. Mother and I are tired of Europe. We’re going to head back and spend some time in New York City. Would you like to meet us there?”
I dragged in a deep breath as I ran my free hand down my face. “I can’t, Jessica. I’m sorry. You know I would if I could.”
“Right. The ranch is more important.”
I balled my fists up and tried to settle my slowly-building anger. “Why are you doing this? You know this is me. This is my life and if you don’t want to be a part of…”
“Stop. I’m sorry.” She began crying harder. “It’s just that I miss you. I’m sorry I was being a bitch. I know this is your life now. I do want to be a part of it.”
There was a knock at the door. “Jessica, I’m sorry but I really have to run.”
“O-okay. I’m sorry.”
I closed my eyes. “Me, too.”
“I love you and miss you,” she whispered.
Turning, I watched Liza pack up her stuff and throw her bag over her shoulder. As she walked by, I grabbed her arm. Her eyes met mine and I knew what I had to do.
“Same here. Bye, Jess.”
I hit End on my phone. I wanted more than anything to push Liza against the wall and make her mine. I wanted what should have been mine. But I did what we both needed me to do. When I let go of her arm, the look in her eyes about killed me. She was about to say something when I turned and walked away from her.
The next thing I heard was the door opening and Mrs. Jenkins saying, “Good morning, Liza. Are y’all ready to head to Mr. McMurphy’s?”
“Yes. The sooner we get there, the better. I’ll be down in the truck, Walker.”
I pulled my T-shirt over my head and grabbed my bag as I made my way to the door, mumbling curses under my breath.
LAYTON WALKED AROUND one of the three horses I’d pulled aside. His hands moved along the horse as his eyes took in every detail. I peeked over to Liza, who watched her father intently. I’d spent a few hours this morning with Mr. McMurphy, asking about the three horses that had caught my eye when we’d first walked into the barn. Liza and I had taken two out and worked them each for a few minutes. We didn’t speak unless it had to do with the horses. The drive to the ranch had been brutally quiet.
Layton stood up and nodded. He winked at Liza, and she looked at me and smiled. I didn’t know if that was a good sign or not. Layton handed the horse off to the stable boy and said, “Tell Mr. McMurphy that all three horses will need to be prepared for travel.”
“What?” I said.
Liza skipped and ran over, throwing herself into me. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her, but I was looking at Layton. He gave me this goofy smile as he came over. Liza squeezed me harder, as if this was the last time we’d ever be in each other’s arms.
“I’m so proud of you, Walker. You did it.” She whispered in my ear.
She pulled back and licked her lips, then blinked slowly before leaning in to kiss me on the cheek. I wanted to take her face in my hands and kiss her properly. When she pulled back, our eyes caught, and I couldn’t pull myself from her stare.
“Thank you,” I said, my voice struggling to get the words out. Layton walked up and hit me on the back. I quickly turned and smiled at him.
“You’re old man is going to be one hell of a proud dad when I tell him you picked out the next three winners.” Layton said as he shook my hand.