“Walker here was telling me a pretty lame joke to cheer me up,” Michelle said, winking at Walker.
I tried to push away the jealousy. “Really?” I asked.
Michelle’s smile faded. “My husband left this morning. He’s in the Navy and he’ll be gone for six months.”
My mouth fell open. “Oh…that has to be really hard.”
She smiled and nodded. “It is, but he will be heading home for good after this.”
I couldn’t help but smile back. “Well, thank him for his service. I’m glad this is the last time he’ll leave you.”
Michelle wiped her hands on her apron and leaned back against the counter. “Thank you. Walker said the same exact thing.”
I peeked over at Walker and found him staring back. I looked back down at my bowl and focused on only eating.
WE STARED AT the bed. Finally, Walker grabbed a pillow and a blanket that was sitting at the end of the bed. As he laid the blanket out on the floor, my heart hurt in ways it shouldn’t. I wanted to tell him to sleep in the bed, that it would be okay. But with what happened earlier, I wasn’t so sure. I watched as he tried to get comfortable.
“Night, Liza,” he said.
I was about to say something when my cell phone rang. I was shocked that I had a signal. When I saw Keith’s name I was overcome with guilt.
“Hello?” It was a bad connection, and I could barely hear him.
“Liza? Can you hear me? Baby? Can you hear me?”
I looked at Walker on the floor and closed my eyes. “Yep, I can hear you.”
“Hey, baby! It’s so good to hear your voice.”
“You too,” I said, trying to keep my voice down.
“Have you missed me?”
“Yes. You?” I opened my eyes and saw Walker looking at me.
Keith let out a small moan. “More than you know. I want to feel your warmth. I miss what it feels like to make love to you.”
I couldn’t respond—not with Walker looking at me. I closed my eyes and imagined Walker kissing me. I imagined his touch, his eyes looking into mine. The moment I felt the tear slip from my eyes, I stood up and turned my back to Walker.
“Keith, I can’t really hear you. The connection is really bad.”
“Are you at the hotel in Kentucky? I’ll call you on the land line.”
I shook my head. “No, um…I’m…well I’m at a…” the moment the phone went dead I said a silent prayer of thanks.
I put my phone on silent and set it back down on the end table. I took a deep breath and crawled into the bed, where I stared at the ceiling. I was so tired, but my body would not relax into sleep. I knew what I was about to do was wrong, but I was desperate. I needed sleep, and I knew the only way I would get it was is to be near him.
“Walker? Are you awake?” I whispered.
“Yes,” he whispered back, his voice cracking.
We sat up at the same time. I took a shaky breath and said, “What happened earlier can’t happen again.”
Moonlight was shining in through the window, lighting up the room. Walker nodded. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
Swallowing hard, I spoke again. “I um…I can’t sleep. When we were younger…”
“I would hold you until you fell asleep.” I chewed on my lip as Walker whispered, “Liza…”
Tears streamed down my face. “Please—I’m so tired, Walker. I don’t know what’s happening. I’m so confused and I just want some sleep.” I sobbed as our eyes met. “Please.”
LISTENING TO THE only girl I’ve ever really loved ask me to hold her while she fell asleep was almost more than I could take. I closed my eyes and thought back to earlier¸ when we’d both finally let our guards down, almost doing the one thing I knew we both wanted. Promises we’d made to others were the only things holding us back. I’d cursed myself the whole way downstairs. I’d promised myself that I would never put Liza in that situation again, and here she was, asking me to hold her. All I really wanted to do was feel every inch of her body. Kiss her in places that I knew turned her on. I wondered if Keith knows those places.
“Please, Walker.”
I stood up and grabbed the pillow, leaving the blanket on the floor. Once she fell asleep, I’d slip out of the bed and sleep on the floor. There was no way in hell I’d be able to sleep next to her all night.
Liza fell back onto her pillow and turned her back toward me as I crawled under the sheet. The moment I felt her body against me, I began a chant in my head: You love Jessica. You only want Jessica. I placed my arm around Liza and pulled her closer to me, but not close enough that she might feel my already hardening dick. You love Jessica. You only want Jessica.
I breathed in Liza’s scent and was transported back to the day we’d said goodbye.
LIZA’S PARENTS WERE in Austin for a holiday benefit party. I’d snuck up into Liza’s room, and we hadn’t stopped kissing since shutting her bedroom door. Now we were on her bed and I had my dick pressed between her legs. She moaning quietly and I wanted to strip her down and make love to her once and for all, but something was stopping us. This last semester had been hard for both of us. Being away from Liza was starting to make me go crazy. I couldn’t think straight anymore. I always wondered what she was doing. Where she was. Who she was with.
I moved my lips to her ear and kissed it. She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me closer.
“Oh, God. Walker…I’m going to come.” She whispered as I pressed in harder. I bit her ear and she grabbed my arms, arching her back as she tried to hold back her moans of pleasure. I moved my lips to hers as I swallowed one moan after another. I loved that I could make her come like this. I couldn’t help but wonder what it might feel like with me inside her. As Liza’s orgasm began to wind down, she loosened her grip on me. I pulled away and smiled. Her chest was heaving and she was biting her lip.
“I miss you so much,” I said, watching her chew on her lip. “I don’t think I can keep doing this, Liza.” I leaned down and kissed her, gently sucking on her lower lip. “I want to make love to you so bad, but I know the moment I do, I’m going to crave you even more. And you’ll be gone.” I watched as a tear slid down her face.
“What are you saying, Walker?” she asked. I knew from the look in her eyes that she was thinking the same thing that I was.