After another week trying to stay at the dorms, I eventually moved back in with Jesse. And because I was on better terms with Tiffany, I started going to the games with her and Kara. Chandra joined us as well, but she never took up with Cord again. He always had a new girl every few weeks. One night, when he was drunk, he confided to me that there was a girl from our school that he always loved. She never reciprocated his feelings, or at least that’s what he told me. I wondered if he knew for certain that she didn’t. He refused to tell me who it was, but she was the reason he never settled down.

I only knew it wasn’t Marissa.

She and Angie came a few times for basketball games. She had hit on Cord, but he never took up her invitation. I was thankful that she never brought Sarah, Jesse’s ex-girlfriend, along because she hadn’t reacted well when she heard about the exclusive status of my relationship with him. Marissa told me a few weeks later that Sarah was now dating a fraternity guy. She seemed happy. And surprisingly, Marissa and Angie even seemed friendly with each other. Justin stayed behind and the two planned girls’ weekend with me. They remained cautious around Beth and Hannah. Beth never talked to them and Hannah was the opposite. She got into people’s faces too much. Eventually they asked not to hang out with them. That was fine. Beth and Hannah told me they were fake. The dislike was reciprocated.

Jamie and Tiffany broke up at the end of the year. He cheated on her and she didn’t want an open relationship anymore. Hannah started taking care of her sister instead, and Tiffany fought back like Hannah had earlier in the year. The two bickered almost daily.

Jesse’s sister came to his championship game. She sat beside me this time instead of her father, who sat courtside with my parents. She was relieved when I told her I wouldn’t be going to the dinner afterwards. Then she confided that night had been too much for her. Unlike her mother, she liked normalcy and quiet moments. She stayed at the house a few weekends and I came to learn she really was a quiet girl. And she worshiped her brother. When she applied for Grant West the following year, I wasn’t surprised. I caught Jesse staring at her at random moments. It was like he was trying to figure her out, but maybe that was how Ethan stared at me too. Jesse never had a family, but he did with her now. He took her home one weekend and introduced her to Zala. His housekeeper instantly took her under her wing.

I told him one night that it was ironic. He had grown up as if he didn’t have a family, but now he did. I was the opposite. I had grown up with a family, but now I didn’t. He rolled his eyes and lifted me on top of him. Then he proceeded to undress me and show me how I was still his family, no matter what. And then one day I headed towards my old dorm room. My last final had been turned in and I had left a bag in my room. I needed to get it before I headed back to Jesse’s.

I heard in the distance, “Alexi, come back here.”

A little girl was running down the sidewalk towards me. A high-pitched giggle came from her as she pumped her arms harder. Her legs went too fast and fierce determination came over her next. A slender girl raced after her. They shared the same blonde curls, but when the little girl saw me, she braked suddenly. Her eyes got big and her cheeks puffed out. The mother hurried and caught up, lifting the girl in her arms. Fat arms and chubby legs wrapped around her, but she twisted back to me. Her eyes didn’t look away. Her thumb slipped up and popped in her mouth. Her other hand caught hold of some of her curls and she hung there. She pulled on her hair as she continued sucking her thumb, all while she never looked away from me.

I couldn’t either.

I felt the breath knocked out of me. Someone took a sledgehammer to my chest. I was batting practice.

This was Ethan. Or she was Ethan. This was his little girl. I knew it. Every cell in my body told me that and I jerked forward. The mom started to turn, but I called out, “Wait!”

She turned back, frowning at me. Her free hand went to cover her eyes. As she saw me, her eyes got big. Her mouth fell open to form a small o and she suddenly went rigid.

This was Claire.

My eyes shifted to the daughter. That was Alexi.

I hurried towards them, fearful she’d decide to scramble. I caught up before she could have that thought and I stuck my hand out. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I hoped my voice was sturdy as I said, “I’m Alex. I’m Ethan’s sister.”

She chewed on her lip for a moment and then she nodded. She never shook my hand. “I know.”

“You’re Claire.” But my gaze couldn’t leave the little girl. She had Ethan’s eyes. She had Ethan’s mouth. She was Ethan. I just knew it. It was like my brother was back with me and not in a haunting presence anymore. “And who are you?”

She smiled, still sucking her thumb, before she twisted and buried her head into her mother’s shoulder. Claire’s smile was sad as she covered her daughter’s head. She blinked away some tears and cleared her throat before she could say, “This is Alexi.” Regret flared over in a second and she amended, “Alexandra. Her name is Alexandra.”

A huge knot formed at the base of my throat. Did she mean…

“We talked about names, Ethan and me. He wanted her named after his little sister.” She rolled her eyes, but in a good way. A small grin came over her. “He always talked about you. He adored you, you know.”

I bit my lip. I was trying to keep from sobbing. I had done so much over the last few years.

“Anyway,” she took a deep breath and forced a brighter smile. “I came here to introduce you to your niece. This is Alexandra Claira Connors.”




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