I looked up from the book I was reading to find J standing in the doorway of our bedroom with a perplexed look on his face.
“Huh?” I was engrossed in my book and had no idea what he was talking about.
“Madison, when I left two months ago the bathroom was white. Care to tell me why it now has different patches of colour on the wall?”
“Oh, that.” I was still dividing my attention between my book and J; it was a damn good, sexy book and I was slightly annoyed that he’d interrupted me when I was just at a good part in the story.
“Yeah, that,” he said, and the tone he took crawled across my skin. I quickly looked up at him; he was pissed. But I had to give him credit because he was containing it.
I turned my Kindle off and laid it on the bed before getting up and walking towards him. “I thought we could paint the bathroom and I was trying out different colours to see what they would look like. I didn’t think you would mind,” I said softly because I knew that J reacted favourably when I used my soft voice on him. I was trying to work out why he was mad about this; it was just paint for goodness sake.
Our eyes locked and we were both silent while he processed what I’d said. Finally, he blew out a breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “Sorry, babe. It’s all good; I’m just on edge at the moment. I didn’t mean to take it out on you,” he apologised before pulling me close and wrapping his arms around me. When he pressed his lips gently to my head in a kiss, I melted a little into him and let my annoyance at him go.
We stayed like that for a moment and then I pulled away, and asked, “What’s got you on edge?”
I watched his silent war as he fought his natural tendency to shut me out. He’d been back in Brisbane for a day and I’d sensed club problems already. J had spent the day taking care of club business and had come home in a subdued mood. The only time I’d seen him perk up was this afternoon when everyone had been giving Scott grief about trying to hook up with a guy that he thought was a woman. We’d been home for about four hours now and he hadn’t even tried to have sex with me; instead he’d sat playing his X-box after dinner so I’d retreated to the bedroom with my book. I figured it might be a good idea to give him some space.
“We’ve got some staffing issues at Indigo,” he said. I watched him closely and knew from the way his eyes avoided mine that there was something else bothering him.
“And?” I gently nudged him.
His eyes found mine again and I saw the shift in them as he finally decided to open up to me. I wasn’t going to push him on this; I’d have been happy to let him slowly sink back into our relationship after his time away. But it seemed that J was ready to take us to a new level and I was happy about that.
“Marcus is being a prick. I know he’s your dad, Madison, but he and I will never have a good relationship again.”
“I don’t care, J. I hate him for what he’s done to our family and I don’t want anything to do with him anymore. I told you that already.”
“Yeah baby, but it’s all still fresh for you. In time you’ll move on from that but I don’t think he and I ever will. He’s changed in the last couple of months. I mean, he’s always been an asshole but I at least had some respect for him. That’s all gone now, especially after the way I saw him treating some of the boys today. He doesn’t seem to have any respect for us anymore so why would we give that to him? He’s my President and I’ll do what he says as far as the club’s concerned but outside of that, I don’t want anything to do with him.”
I took in the tenseness of his jaw and the worry lines creasing his face, and ached to take all of that away for him. Reaching my hand up to his cheek, I softly ran my thumb across it. “J, you’ve been back for twenty-four hours and already you’re worrying about stuff that you don’t need to be worrying about. Your relationship with my father is exactly that; yours. I don’t want you to factor me into that at all. In fact, forget he’s my father because I sure as hell want to.”
He reached his hand up and placed it over mine, stilling me. “Babe, it’s all well and good to say that now but what’s to say in six months or sooner, you patch things up with him. What then? I don’t want him coming between us and I worry that he will.”
Shaking my head, I tried to ease his mind. “No, I won’t let that happen. I promise. We’ve worked too damn hard to get us back on track; I’m not going to let anything or anyone mess it up again.”
J still didn’t look convinced. I needed him to be but I had no idea how to do that so I resorted, for now, to the one thing that always brought us closer together. I moved into his space, pushing my body as close to his as I could get. The feel of him against me caused me to moan; we’d been apart for too long and I craved his touch like never before.
“Fuck, babe,” he growled, and circled my waist with his arm, letting his hand rest on my ass. Our eyes locked and in that moment all outside issues took a back seat as we came together. He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me. I was surprised at the gentleness of it; J and I didn’t do gentle very often. This kiss enveloped me though, with its tenderness; it joined us and connected us in a way that we desperately needed to be connected after months apart, and especially with all the problems surrounding us and my family.