Even now, she felt the boulder in her throat just thinking about the possibility of having to be around him with other women. It would kill her. The tightness she felt in her chest all night after Roni had informed her of what Abel had told Noah went even tighter now, and she could feel herself starting to wheeze again. What in the world was she thinking when she started this?
“Nellie?”
Startled, she turned to see Abel walking toward her. She’d been staring into the trunk of her SUV where she’d set her tray down. “You okay? I called your name out twice.”
Nodding, she tried blinking away the warm tears that she hadn’t even noticed had filled her eyes. “I’m good,” she said, leaning into the back of SUV, moving imaginary things around as she blinked wildly in the hopes that the tears would be gone by the time he reached her.
When they weren’t, she yawned a bit exaggeratedly in desperation and turned, smiling at him. “I’m sorry. I was lost in thought, I guess.”
His smiled waned with that comment. “Did your long night last night wear you out?”
Surprised by his question, she continued to smile even as her insides roiled. The way he was staring at her now only confused her already aching heart. “Yeah, the concert was over pretty late, and then we had some drinks after, so it was a longish night.”
While his eyes searched hers, he didn’t say anything. Instead, he took another step further and kissed her, softly, sweetly, the way that melted her heart every single time. As usual, she couldn’t summon even an ounce of resistance. Her previously roiling insides were now doing summersaults. With his big hands cradling her face, he pulled away but still sprinkled kisses around her lips. Closing her eyes, she sighed, giving into him once again. This is where she wanted to be forever. Even as her head screamed at her to jump ship and do it now, her heart clung to the unspoken emotion she felt from him.
She knew it was unwise and dangerous given how she was already feeling, but her instincts were screaming now too, drowning out her head that this wasn’t a kiss from a man who wanted nothing more than to relieve his needs. There was so much more to it. There had to be. Right?
He finally stopped long enough to stare at her for a moment. “Can I follow you home?” he whispered. “I wanna make love to you so badly.”
Without even a moment’s thought, she nodded. As pathetic as it was to clutch on to something so small, he’d never called it making love before. He’d told her he wanted to f**k her or taste her or needed to be inside her on more than one occasion, but he never said make love. “Yes,” she whispered back, staring into his eyes. “I want you to make love to me.”
He smiled one of the sweetest smiles she’d ever seen on him. “Let’s go.”
***
Determined not to become emotional like she had last night as Abel swayed in and out of her slowly and rhythmically while staring deeply into her eyes and making love to her again in the early morning, Nellie decided to just enjoy it. Arching her back, she closed her eyes as she felt the now familiar building of another mind-blowing climax, and she dug her fingers into his big, hard back.
Speeding up, Abel’s brows pinched, and he began to moan, driving in deeper and deeper. Grunting now as he rocked into her this time, he was a little rougher than he had been the night before. He pumped her harder than he had the entire night last night, but she loved it. She moaned in reaction and in anticipation of her already throbbing pre-climax.
“Yes! Yes! Yes!” She cried out as she came more intensely each time he slammed into her, until he came to a final loud grunting drive deep into her, lifting her waist up against his body. He remained that way for a few moments until he collapsed atop of her.
“That was amazing,” he said breathlessly against her ear. “But then it’s always amazing.” He kissed her forehead, slipping his hand into hers and squeezing it, keeping his body on hers, exactly where she wanted it.
They lay there, breathing heavily as she ran her fingers through his hair, pushing away the emotion that once again began to creep in. She would not do this. How could she? So what if he wasn’t hers entirely? As tempted as she was to put it out there—tell him what she was feeling because she was almost positive now he was feeling it too—she just couldn’t. What if she were wrong? What if what he’d told Noah was really true? He didn’t want drama. That’s exactly what this would be because she felt so overwhelmed with emotion that she was certain she’d break down if she opened up to him. It was too big of a risk. He’d run and she’d lose what little he was willing to give her.
She was only glad now that it was too dark last night for Abel to see the tears that spilled out just as she came so dramatically when he made love to her the first time. The entire night’s mixture of emotions had just mounted until that very moment, and it couldn’t be helped. This was now beyond her control. Her heart was in this now, and as much as she wanted to believe she could walk away from this unscathed, she knew better. And yet she still couldn’t bring herself to walk away from this man.
What scared her most was that, even as horrendous as her divorce with her ex had been, she feared this might be more painful. She remembered that the pain during her divorce had been more about her sister betraying her than Rick. She’d felt the disconnect between herself and Rick long before she’d even found out that he’d been having an affair with her own sister. The old-fashioned thinking instilled by her mother had told her that divorce was not an option, so she’d turned the other cheek when she suspected something was awry, but she knew the end was near. Even when her delusional heart chose to believe him when he promised he’d change after the first time she caught him cheating, she still knew deep inside what they’d had long ago was gone. She was no longer in love with him either; she was just afraid of having to start over and being alone.