Feeling the stab of reality lodge in her stupidly hopeful heart so suddenly, Nellie couldn’t help rolling her eyes in reaction. “Geez, Roni,” she said, swallowing back the infuriating lump in her throat, “I’m not a charity case.”
Roni reached for her arm, and after seeing the apparently undeniable hurt in Nellie’s eyes, she hugged her. “No, no, no! I didn’t mean it that way.” She pulled back to look at her. “I’m so sorry, honey. I know you’re not. I just meant that if he’s going to openly date other women, knowing full well that it’s bound to get back to you, then why the hell should we keep your social life away from him quiet? You’re an exquisitely beautiful woman with a ton more class and so much more to offer than any of those girls he goes around bagging. I just want him to know that if he doesn’t see it others do.” She crossed her heart quickly, glancing back toward the front room where Hector had now joined the rest of the guys. “I promise I’ll keep my nose out of it from here on, though. You’re brilliant, and you seem to have things under control. I need to trust that you know what you’re doing. If you’d rather not talk about it in front of him or Hector, then I’ll keep my big fat mouth shut.”
Nellie smiled, gathering her composure. Roni hadn’t said anything to her that she shouldn’t already know. Their agreement had been a very simple one, one they’d each accepted. Her hurt feelings were irrational. He’d never promised her anything. She knew betrayal of the worst kind and this wasn’t it. This was just her heart getting one step ahead of itself, something she knew better than to let happen.
“It’s already out there, so if it’s brought up, there’s no need to hide it. Let’s just not openly flaunt it.” She winked at her still-worried-looking friend. “You’re right. I do have a ton more class than the girls he’s used to banging. Let’s keep it that way.”
Relief washed across Roni’s face. It was so melodramatic it made Nellie laugh. “C’mon that cheesecake looks delicious.”
She helped Roni bring the cake plates and utensils out to the front room. Maybe she would take Sam up on his offer to have brunch with him tomorrow. She certainly would need a huge distraction to wean her off Abel. Especially now that she knew she wasn’t going to be able handle continuing this with Abel if he was going to be bagging other women at the same time. Tonight was proof. Her heart literally ached just before she walked through the door because she dreaded walking in and seeing Abel with Rachel. It was why she’d really been late. Her last-minute deviled-eggs story was bullshit. She’d been so close to calling and canceling but was certain Roni would know she was lying and that things were already changing like she was so afraid of.
Thankfully Abel hadn’t brought her, but that could change soon, and just seeing him tonight, trying to contain her delight that Rachel wasn’t sitting with him or at the table with the girls was hard enough. Getting the reality check that, in fact, she was alone in crossing the line and thinking there was something more growing between them was further proof that she needed to jump ship soon. She’d never been good at hiding her emotions. Roni would see right through her soon, so she had to seriously consider the real possibility of cutting her losses very soon and making a clean break before things got too painful.
Sticking a fork full of cheesecake in her mouth, she thought about what Roni had said. She was brilliant and had things under control. Her wounded heart was proof of how under control she really had things. Shoving more cheesecake in her mouth, she thought about what she’d been trying to convince herself of all this time. She’d be a stronger woman for having done this and all that shit.
Chapter 11
Walking out into the night’s cool fresh air, Nellie prayed Abel wouldn’t follow her, but her heart yearned to hear the door behind her open. As she made her way down Noah and Roni’s driveway, she thought of the way Abel’s eyes had pierced through her all night and the gentle smiles he offered when their eyes would meet. Each time her heart had fluttered like a butterfly on crack. She was beyond over her head now.
After Roni had let her in on Abel’s reconfirmation that this was nothing more than what they’d agreed it would be from the very beginning, she sat there drowning her sorrows in cheesecake. She’d eaten nearly three full slices. Knowing that soon she’d be dealing with a pain she swore she’d never allow herself to get caught up in again, she wasn’t even worried about the astronomical amounts of calories she’d inhaled tonight. She was certain that, like every time she’d had to deal with a dark moment in her life, she’d lose weight without even trying.
This shouldn’t be so dark. Their relationship was very much physical. It should be easy to move past it soon, but her head reminded her she’d known Abel for a while now. Her attraction to him, not just his body and good looks but him, had been growing for some time: The noble and loyal friend he was to Noah and Gio. The overprotective brother he was to Hector and now even Charlee. The way he didn’t care that the guys busted his balls for being a momma’s boy. The man bowed down to the woman and had no qualms about admitting it. Even being the celebrity he was now, he’d still run over in a heartbeat to help fix your car. She’d seen and heard about him doing just that from Roni so many times. He said he loved working on engines and insisted that taking it to a mechanic was always a rip off.
Add to all that the intensity Charlee talked about in Hector’s eyes. Nellie knew exactly what Charlee was talking about because she’d seen the very thing in Abel—felt it in his kisses. It must be an Ayala thing. She was now beginning to understand that utterly mesmerized thing she so often saw on Charlee’s face. Charlee admitted it openly and as unabashedly as Hector did. She was madly in love with the guy. If Nellie didn’t put an end to this now, she too would be doomed to fall hopelessly in love with Abel, and that could ruin everything because this relationship was completely different than his brother and his girlfriend’s exclusive one.