He looked at me carefully before standing up. “Fine,” he said. “You want to spend time apart. That’s what we’ll do.”
He turned and walked away. Halfway to the corner of the Social Sciences Building, he kicked a trash can over in anger. Empty bottles and cans tumbled across the ground.
My stomach churned as I watched him turn the corner out of sight. When I was sure he was gone, I took out the sketch I had been working on and uncrumpled it. The eyes were all wrong. I had drawn them sharp like they were when he was fighting, but I knew there was also a softer side to him. A vulnerable side.
I looked at the box of chocolates and rose in my lap. Sighing, I put the box in my bag to share with Daniela—no sense in wasting perfectly good chocolate —and left the rose on the bench. Once I packed up, I got up from the bench and fixed the trash can that Hunter knocked over. Then I crumpled up the sketch again, threw it in the trash, and went to my next class.
Chapter Sixteen
THE STUNNER
I spent the next few days praying I wouldn’t see Hunter. Every time my phone jingled its reminder to feed the kittens, I had a mild panic attack. When I would go to his apartment, I would check the windows to see if his lights were on or if I could see some other sign he was home, but he never was. The most I heard from him was the notes he left on the whiteboard above the kittens’ bed: “need to get formula” or “Bones wouldn’t eat make sure he gets enough” or “has Georgia been sleepy for you too?”
He was giving me time apart, that was for sure. The more I didn’t see him, the more I wasn’t sure if that was what I wanted. I had dreamed about kissing him twice in four days, each time waking up with an annoying ache between my legs and my lips pressed against my pillow.
The situation was on my mind as I walked into the dining hall with Daniela on Thursday night. All I had was swimming on Fridays, so this was practically the beginning of my weekend. That meant I should’ve been happy, like a normal college student when the weekend rolled around. Instead I was a nervous wreck. All I could think about was whether I would run into Hunter over the weekend.
“Hey, cheer up!” Daniela said as we stood in line for the cafeteria. “Let’s go out this weekend and do something fun. Go to a house party or something.”
I shrugged. “Yeah, maybe.”
“Lorrie, I know you’re trying to give it time because you guys said you’d give each other space, but you’ve been really bummed out the past few days. If it’s really bothering you, you should talk to him again. From what you told me, it sounds like he would want that.”
Maybe she was right. I didn’t want to admit it, but maybe it was time to admit my feelings for Hunter were more than platonic. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my mind.
We handed our student IDs to the cashier to allow her to scan them, took our trays, and got in line for food. The Barnyard was serving chicken broccoli bake, an Arrowhart favorite. Once we got our food, we searched for a place to sit. The cafeteria was buzzing with excitement for the approaching weekend. All around us I heard people making plans, gossiping, complaining about the upcoming midterms, and generally getting ready to relax for a couple days. It was then that I saw Hunter on the other side of the cafeteria.
He was sitting at a table and talking to a girl with shoulder length blonde hair and a perfect tan despite the lack of sun in winter. Her black coat hanging on the back of her chair, she was wearing a lilac colored cotton tank top that showed off her ample br**sts, and looked very comfortable with Hunter.
They were eating off of one plate. I felt sick as I watched her lean over and whisper into his ear, tracing her fingers along the muscles under his tight-fitting navy t-shirt. He looked over at her and smiled, making suggestive movements toward her lips with a peeled banana in his hand. She playfully slapped his arm but then lunged for the banana with her mouth, taking a bite. He laughed and took a bite himself. I was starting to feel dizzy. Daniela looked at me, then followed my eyes and gasped.
“Come on,” she said pointing to a table away from Hunter. “Let’s go sit over on this side.”
She walked to the side of the cafeteria opposite from Hunter and sat down. I followed her numbly, barely able to process what was happening.
I’d been hungry when I was in the food line but when I sat down, I couldn’t even look at my plate. Who was that girl and why was she so cozy with Hunter? Had he moved on that quickly? Just a few days ago he’d been baring his soul about his feelings for me, bringing me a rose and chocolate. Now he apparently had feelings for someone else. I wanted to pretend that it didn’t bother me but the bundle of coils in my stomach made that impossible.
Noticing Daniela studying me carefully, I decided to break the silence.“I don’t know if I can eat,” I said.
She nodded but stayed silent. I stared at my food thinking about how stupid I was for feeling jealous that Hunter was flirting with another girl. I’d told him my feelings for him were strictly based on friendship but it was becoming increasingly clear to me that I wasn’t being entirely honest.
Finally Daniela spoke. “Do you know who she is?”
I shook my head. This was so humiliating, even in front of my best friend. I wanted to turn around and curl up in bed until Spring came.
She grimaced. “Okay. We can leave if you want.”
“No, you should eat.” I gestured to her food, which was as untouched as mine was.
“I’m not leaving you here, Lorrie. If you want to leave I’m going with you.”
I felt like I was pinned flat on my back by a giant boulder. Overwhelmed, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. “Thank you,” I said, trying to smile.
“You’re welcome. I know you’d do the same for me.” She speared a forkful of chicken and broccoli. “I’ll try to eat fast,” she said, chewing. “Like a chicken broccoli bake eating contest.”
I looked down at the spread on my plate and took a fork full of food. Knowing from experience that neglecting food was just going to make me feel worse, I decided to take a few bites. The food tasted bland, but I didn’t feel like I was going to throw up, so I continued eating.
Chewing my food, I was tempted to look at Hunter. I turned and found him staring right at me. His gray eyes opened wide in surprise and then narrowed. He tapped the girl sitting next to him on the shoulder, fed her another suggestive bite of his banana then looked at me for my reaction. I glared at him for a second and then turned back to Daniela.
“This is ridiculous. He’s taunting me! I have to go,” I said, my heart racing as I stood up.
“Lorrie wait!” Daniela cried.
But I was already heading out of the dining hall. It felt like everyone in the Barnyard was staring at me as I rushed out, but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to talk to Hunter when he was consciously trying to piss me off.
Stepping outside into the night, the cold winter air stung my bare arms. As I walked down the steps, I realized I’d forgotten my coat in the rush to get out of the cafeteria. Rather than go back in, I hugged my arms to my body and powered forward, figuring Daniela would bring it back to the dorm when she finished eating. There was no way I was going back in there and embarrassing myself even more. I hurried down the last few steps and started in the direction of Floyd Hall.