We make our way up the few stairs to the porch and Nico opens the front door with a key on his key ring. With the headlights now off, it’s pitch dark except for the sole dim light sitting on the porch.
“Stay right here.” Nico let’s go of my hand and I can barely see what he’s doing, just a slight change in the level of darkness shows me he’s moving through the room. He doesn’t bump into anything, so either the room is empty or he knows his way around well. A few seconds later, I hear the familiar sound of a match striking a flint and then a candle is lit on a small table up against a window.
“You’re not going to turn on the lights and let me see the place? After keeping me in the dark about where we were going for hours?”
Nico laughs and I watch as he comes towards me, the one candle providing enough light for me to see him more clearly. “There’s no electricity here.”
“What do you mean there’s no electricity?” My voice comes out almost appalled, because for a second I am.
“Preach calls it his sanctuary. No phone, no electricity, no cell service. No people for miles.” Nico wraps his arms around my waist as he speaks and pulls me close against his body, making it easier to digest what he’s telling me. Everything seems easy when I’m pressed up against the man. He makes me lose my wits, my edge, my common sense.
“You took me to a place with no electricity and no cell service.” I have to try now to sound disturbed, because I’m not anymore. Not with his warm breath nuzzling its way onto my neck as he buries his head into my hair.
“I did.” His sinful mouth finds its way to my ear, where his words are spoken quietly but they travel through me like heat through a coil and wake up every molecule in my body. The hair on the nape of my neck responds, prickling through a chill that breaks out all over my body in goose bumps.
“Come on, it’s cool enough up here to make a fire.” Nico releases me and my body is disappointed to lose contact so soon. He holds my hand and steers me through the dark house into a room at the back. After he’s made a fire I can see the enormity of the fireplace. It’s made of stone and I feel dwarfed by the sheer size of it.
“Wow, it’s…incredible.” The words don’t do enough to describe it. The light from the fireplace casts a soft glow on the room and I can see that the walls of the room are all glass. It’s too dark to see anything on the outside, but I imagine that I would be looking out at a lake if the sun was shining.
Nico is still standing by the fireplace, but now he’s watching me as I take in the beauty of the room. “Jesus, Babe, you look like an angel standing there.”
I smile at his compliment, I’ve never been good at accepting compliments, but with Nico, the way he speaks to me, I believe every word he says. I know I don’t look like an angel, but to Nico, I do at this moment. Neither of us moves, both content in what the light finds for the other to see. Then his eyes find mine and everything else fades away…the darkness, the fireplace, the room, everything. None of it exists anymore. It’s just us and everything seems so simple. It’s one of those moments in life that you feel a shift. Like everything you’ve done before has lead to this point and whatever happens from this point on will be different. I don’t know how or why, but I’m as certain of it as I’ve ever been of anything in my life. I’m in love with this man, and the realization doesn’t even scare me. Not the slightest bit.
Nico walks to me slowly, his eyes never releasing mine. He stops as he reaches me, falling short of contact between our bodies, but just short. We’re standing so close I have to tilt my neck back and look up at him to keep our eyes locked, but I don’t dare move for fear that one of us will blink and the moment will be gone. He raises one of his big hands and softly brushes my hair back from my face, his touch is so tender and gentle. Slowly, he lowers his head down to mine and I think he’s going to kiss me, his face is so close to mine that I can feel his breath on my lips, but he doesn’t. He stops so we don’t have to lose the contact of our locked eyes. And then everything I felt shift is confirmed and my world changes.
“I love you, Elle.”
I don’t have to think about my response. Because there’s never been anything in my life I’ve been surer about. “I love you, too.”
Then he kisses me. Sweetly. Gently. Passionately. Really kisses me...in a way that I’ve never been kissed before. It’s not a prelude to sex or foreplay. It’s love. Pure and simple, it’s love pouring from both of us and connecting in a kiss. And in that moment I realize, I’ve never really been kissed before. I thought I’d been, but I wasn’t. There was absolutely nothing before this kiss, and I can’t wait to see what comes after.
By the time we break for air, I’m holding onto his shoulders in order to keep upright. Without his arms wrapped so tightly around me, I would be a puddle on the floor. My knees are weak and my arms are shaking and then there’s the tears. The tears have welled up in my eyes and I can’t stop them from falling when he looks at me that way. I’d heard people say they cried tears of happiness before, but I’d never given the term any thought. But that’s what they are and they start falling. Streaming from my eyes as I smile up at the man that I’m madly in love with. And he with me.
He smiles back down at me and wipes the tears from my eyes. “You’re smiling and crying.”
“I know…I think fifteen years of holding back my emotions just got the best of me…and now you’re in trouble.” I laugh as I speak, realizing how ridiculous it must sound, but it’s true. I haven’t felt anything for fifteen years, really, and now I’m overwhelmed with emotions I hadn’t even realized I was capable of anymore.
Nico smiles before he reaches down and lifts me into his arms, cradling me tightly against his chest. I wrap my arms around his neck. “What are you doing?”
“I’m taking the woman I love to bed to make love to her.”
“Oh.” His words are like music to my ears.
***
The next morning I wake to a familiar warm hand on my exposed back, rubbing gently up and down my spine. I turn my head to face the man I’ve professed my love to and he smiles at me. “Mornin.”
“Morning.” I smile back and can’t help that it’s a goofball smile, I feel satisfied and happy and completely and totally in love. I can’t remember the last time I felt so relaxed. Telling Nico about my past has lifted a weight off my chest that I didn’t even realize I was carrying.