I was safe. I was free. I had something to look forward to. It was more than I’d had the night before, and yet a heaviness settled deep into my bones. My family was gone, my criminal record would always keep me from aspiring too high, and the woman I loved—would always love—was out there somewhere, probably curled up in some other man’s arms.
Rolling onto my side, I punched my pillow to fluff it when I sensed someone enter my room. I froze in the dark and squinted, hoping I hadn’t woken Pick or Eva with my nightmare, but when I saw the silhouette of my guest, I realized it was one of the kids.
It waddled toward the bed and began to climb onto the mattress with me. I could tell it was Julian by the hair.
“Nigh-nigh,” he mumbled before collapsing against me and settling in for sleep.
I lay there frozen, not sure what to do. It didn’t feel right to kick the guy out of his own bed, but it felt wrong to let him stay, too. I didn’t want Pick to think I was some kind of pedophile, stealing his kids in the middle of the night and dragging them to bed with me. But Julian had already made himself at home and didn’t seem like he was willing to move.
So I let him cuddle against me. He was out in seconds. Five minutes later, his sister found us. She crawled onto the bed, created another nest on top of me and was asleep almost as quickly as Julian.
For some reason, I didn’t mind the intrusion. Their sweetness and innocence had a calming effect. When I dropped off not long after them, I didn’t have another nightmare for the rest of the night. My dreams were filled with red hair, blue eyes, and a smile that meant the world to me.
He was already there when I arrived, cradling a wiggling bundle in his arms. He didn’t see me at first, which gave me some time to appreciate the sight of him bending his head over the infant and cooing at her, his strong shoulders and back muscles shifting under the cloth of his worn T-shirt. When he paced under a break in the trees, a slice of sunlight flared down on him, making his chocolate brown hair more golden.
My breath caught as I slowed to a stop. He had to be the most breathtaking boy to ever grace the planet. And he was here, waiting for me.
When I stepped forward, a twig snapped under my feet. He lifted his head and smiled. “There you are.”
His grin did things to me. The way his lips stretched and his eyes warmed as if he were genuinely happy to see me, it melted my insides.
“Keep smiling, kiddo,” he told the baby. “Someone’s here to see you.”