And even if I did get a handle on it, I’d still never be enough for her. I knew my City. She needed someone she could be completely open with, and someone who could be open with her. Those were the kinds of connections that made her bloom, and they were something I’d never again be able to provide. There was too much ugliness in me now. I could never bring that kind of ugly into her life.
I wasn’t able to finish the sandwich. I kind of wanted to preserve it.
When I left my room, I paused outside her door. I even lifted my hand to knock. But my knuckles hovered in front of the wood about ten seconds before I dropped them, and I hurried out of the apartment.
At the bar, Asher and Noel were arguing over who would have to wait tables.
“Man, you always work the bar. Just give it to me tonight.”
Noel only snickered. “Stop being a pussy, Hart. So a horde of insane women want your body. Shouldn’t you be eating that shit up?”
Asher scowled. “You’re an ass.” He promptly turned to Mason. “Lowe, man—”
“No way. I gave up the bar for Parker last week. Not going to do it again.”
“Jesus, you guys suck, you know that?”
“Oh, quit your bawling, Vagina Boy.” Ten tossed an apron in Asher’s face. “A couple handsy chicks grabbing your junk aren’t going to kill you.”
“You suck too,” Asher muttered, even as he jerked his waist apron into place. “You’re going to be stuck waiting tables whether you like it or not,” he grumbled to me, probably hoping to put me into just as bad of a mood as he was in.
But I just shrugged. Waiting tables actually didn’t bother me. I’d noticed last week that those guys made more in tips than working the bar, and that’s what I needed. I put on my apron and helped Asher and Ten prepare the customer area for business.
When Harper, the doorman, started letting people in, I concentrated on doing a good job. About half an hour into the shift, I stopped by the bar to put in an order for a table full of middle-aged men. Noel came over to me and muttered a curse under his breath.
“Shit, I should’ve let Hart have the bar. He really is getting mobbed.”
I glanced over, but all I saw was a swarm of women... in Incubus shirts. Harper had deserted the entrance and was trying to shove his way through to help, but he wasn’t making much progress.
Setting my tray on the countertop, I waded through the people, booming, “MOVE!” and probably scaring the shit out of about twenty women. “Get away from him. Now.”