I was safe. I was free. I had something to look forward to. It was more than I’d had the night before, and yet a heaviness settled deep into my bones. My family was gone, my criminal record would always keep me from aspiring too high, and the woman I loved—would always love—was out there somewhere, probably curled up in some other man’s arms.
Rolling onto my side, I punched my pillow to fluff it when I sensed someone enter my room. I froze in the dark and squinted, hoping I hadn’t woken Pick or Eva with my nightmare, but when I saw the silhouette of my guest, I realized it was one of the kids.
It waddled toward the bed and began to climb onto the mattress with me. I could tell it was Julian by the hair.
“Nigh-nigh,” he mumbled before collapsing against me and settling in for sleep.
I lay there frozen, not sure what to do. It didn’t feel right to kick the guy out of his own bed, but it felt wrong to let him stay, too. I didn’t want Pick to think I was some kind of pedophile, stealing his kids in the middle of the night and dragging them to bed with me. But Julian had already made himself at home and didn’t seem like he was willing to move.
So I let him cuddle against me. He was out in seconds. Five minutes later, his sister found us. She crawled onto the bed, created another nest on top of me and was asleep almost as quickly as Julian.
For some reason, I didn’t mind the intrusion. Their sweetness and innocence had a calming effect. When I dropped off not long after them, I didn’t have another nightmare for the rest of the night. My dreams were filled with red hair, blue eyes, and a smile that meant the world to me.
He was already there when I arrived, cradling a wiggling bundle in his arms. He didn’t see me at first, which gave me some time to appreciate the sight of him bending his head over the infant and cooing at her, his strong shoulders and back muscles shifting under the cloth of his worn T-shirt. When he paced under a break in the trees, a slice of sunlight flared down on him, making his chocolate brown hair more golden.
My breath caught as I slowed to a stop. He had to be the most breathtaking boy to ever grace the planet. And he was here, waiting for me.
When I stepped forward, a twig snapped under my feet. He lifted his head and smiled. “There you are.”
His grin did things to me. The way his lips stretched and his eyes warmed as if he were genuinely happy to see me, it melted my insides.
“Keep smiling, kiddo,” he told the baby. “Someone’s here to see you.”
“Is she smiling?” Forgetting about the crazy stir he caused in me, I hurried forward, momentarily more curious to see the baby than I was to see him.
He turned and twisted his arms to put her on full display, and I caught my breath, freshly surprised by how much Bainbridge she had in her. The red hair looked particularly bright in this light, and her blue eyes were wide and curious as she gazed up at me.
“Hi, baby Bentley,” I cooed, tickling her chin. “I’m your Aunt Felicity.”
When Knox sucked in a startled breath, I glanced up, worried. “What?”
I immediately scanned the trees, sure we were caught. I was so busy darting my gaze around for trouble, I didn’t catch his expression until he said, “I just realized you’re related to her just as much as I am.”
Shoulders easing, I brought my attention back to Knox and our niece. Sending him a small smile, I hedged, “So, I guess that would mean I have just as much right to hold her as you do?”
He sniffed out an amused sound. “Is that your way of asking if you can hold her?”
I nodded and batted my eyelashes at him playfully. “Pretty please?”
His grin broke out, even though he made a big, groaning production about having to give her up. “Okay, fine. If you’re going to be a big baby about it.”
But as soon as he started to hand her over, I lost my nerve and jumped backward. “Wait.”
“What?” This time, he was the one to scan the trees as he tucked Bentley protectively close.
I blew out a breath. “Nothing, I just...I realized I’ve never actually...held a baby before.”
“You’ve never...” He blinked a few times before he burst out laughing.
“I don’t see how that’s funny at all,” I muttered, my face growing scarlet. “What if I don’t hold her right? What if I hurt her? What if I...break her?”
“Oh my God. Seriously?” He bent slightly, he was snickering so hard. I was tempted to slug him in the arm. But something in my expression must’ve alerted him to my true distress, because he calmed himself and shook his head. “You’re not going to break the baby, Felicity. Here. Put your arms out like you’re already holding one, and I’ll slip her into place.”