"And take the money?" added Cynthia, lifting her head, and looking
eagerly into Molly's face. "He must take the money. Oh, Molly, you
can never manage it all without its coming out to your father! And I
would far rather go out to Russia as a governess. I almost think I
would rather--no, not that," said she, shuddering away from what she
was going to say. "But he must not know--please, Molly, he must not
know. I couldn't bear it. I don't know what I might not do. You'll
promise me never to tell him,--or mamma?"
"I never will. You do not think I would for anything short of
saving--" She was going to have said, "saving you and Roger from
pain." But Cynthia broke in,--
"For nothing. No reason whatever must make you tell your father. If
you fail, you fail, and I will love you for ever for trying; but I
shall be no worse off than before. Better, indeed; for I shall have
the comfort of your sympathy. But promise me not to tell Mr. Gibson."
"I have promised once," said Molly, "but I promise again; so now do
go to bed, and try and rest. You are looking as white as a sheet;
you'll be ill if you don't get some rest; and it's past two o'clock,
and you're shivering with cold."
So they wished each other good-night. But when Molly got into her
room all her spirit left her; and she threw herself down on her bed,
dressed as she was, for she had no heart left for anything. If Roger
ever heard of it all by any chance, she felt how it would disturb his
love for Cynthia. And yet was it right to conceal it from him? She
must try and persuade Cynthia to tell it all straight out to him as
soon as he returned to England. A full confession on her part would
wonderfully lessen any pain he might have on first hearing of it.
She lost herself in thoughts of Roger--how he would feel, what he
would say, how that meeting would come to pass, where he was at that
very time, and so on, till she suddenly plucked herself up, and
recollected what she herself had offered and promised to do. Now that
the first fervour was over, she saw the difficulties clearly; and the
foremost of all was how she was to manage to have an interview with
Mr. Preston. How had Cynthia managed? and the letters that had passed
between them too? Unwillingly, Molly was compelled to perceive that
there must have been a great deal of underhand work going on beneath
Cynthia's apparent openness of behaviour; and still more unwillingly
she began to be afraid that she herself might be led into the
practice. But she would try and walk in a straight path; and if she
did wander out of it, it should only be to save pain to those whom
she loved.