Without You

I smiled as I turned to look at Gunner.

He glanced at me and winked. “You’re lucky. At least you and Colt got to get a hit in on the little prick.”

I nodded my head and chuckled sarcastically. “It wasn’t enough, sir. I wanted to kill him. I still want to, but…but I’m more worried about Lex. I can almost feel her pulling away from me, if that makes sense.”

Gunner parked his truck behind Jeff’s truck. “It makes sense.”

We both jumped out of the truck, and that was when I noticed my father, Jeff, Colt, and Luke standing against Colt’s truck.

I walked up to Jeff and shook his hand and then my father’s. Colt and Luke both walked up and gave me what the girls would call our bro hug.

“Boys, we wanted to talk to you about Alex—especially you, Will.” My father gave me a weak smile.

“What about, sir?” I asked.

Jeff cleared his throat as he looked at Luke. “Before you were born, Luke, your mother and I were expecting a baby. I know we’ve told you this along with the meaning behind your sister’s name before.”

Luke nodded his head. “Yes, sir, I remember.”

“What you don’t know is, that day, I walked away from your mother to go to another woman. It’s not what you think. It’s a long story, and honestly, it’s not one worth repeating. The point is, I left your mother…alone. I didn’t even know she was pregnant. She was upset, and she got on a horse to go riding with Ellie and Heather. Ari’s horse got spooked and threw her.”

Luke looked down and shook his head.

“By the time I found out what had happened, I rushed to the hospital. I still didn’t know your mother was pregnant. For all of about two minutes, I was happy as hell because she was okay. Then, she told me she lost the baby, and I was living in hell. I hadn’t been there for her, and to this day, I’ve never really forgiven myself for the pain and hurt I caused her.”

Jeff turned and looked at me. “You didn’t cause Alex’s pain, but I see on your face how you blame yourself. Will, you couldn’t have helped her any faster than you did.”

I nodded my head and wiped away a tear.

“Ari slowly began pulling away from me…from everyone. I let it happen because I didn’t know what else to do. I figured she needed time…maybe she needed to hate me for a bit…to blame me. I just didn’t know. Boys, Alex is going to pull away. I know how the three of you fiercely look after each of these girls. You’ll have to give Alex space though, but don’t let her push any of you away.”

“Dad, how do we know if we are pushing her or not?” Luke asked.

Jeff shook his head. “Son, I don’t know how to answer that.”

Colt kicked a rock. “How did you and Ari come back together?”

Jeff smiled as he looked at Gunner and then my father. “One day, I just decided I wanted my girl back. I was tired of just sitting back, so I didn’t let her push anymore, and she pushed like hell for me to leave her alone, but I stood my ground.” He smiled and looked at Luke. “Your mother and I firmly believe that on the day she came back to me, we made another life.”

Luke smiled as his face blushed.

“You see, boys, I know y’all look at us and think you want the perfect relationship that you see with your own parents. I’ve overheard y’all talking about it. Just know that some beautiful sunsets have had rainstorms that came before it, but the rain only makes the sunset that more beautiful.”

“Dad?” Colt asked.

“Yes, son?” Gunner said.

“My heart hurts so bad for Alex.” Colt was beginning to get choked up.

I had to fight to hold back my tears. I was pretty sure Luke was feeling the same, but there was no way I was going to look at him.

“I know, son, I know. As do all of our hearts. Just watch over her this summer, boys. Show her how much you love and care about her. Just be there for her if she needs you. And know that none of you could have protected her from this. Don’t let guilt play a hand in this, boys. You can’t be with the girls twenty-four/seven.”

Each of us nodded. My father walked up to me, pulled me into his arms, and held me. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I let go of the anger, fear, and guilt that had been building the last couple of days.

“I love her, Dad. I love her so much,” I cried out.

He held me tighter. “I know you do, Will.”

“Oh God, Dad…why? Why did this happen to her? Why?” I no longer cared what Luke or Colt might think. I cried out as my father held me.