I know! I know this. My parents received so many death threats for their lab work. There are two warring sides: pro-science, which favors genetic research and the pursuit of an antidote; and pro-naturalism, which believes that it’s too late, and that breeding new children and subjecting them to experimentation is unethical. In short, pro-naturalism believes that it’s natural to let the human race end.
“But lucky you,” Vaughn says. “You’re warm and safe in here. And you wouldn’t want to jeopardize the good thing you have here. You’re more special than you realize; if Linden were to lose you, it just might destroy his spirit. You don’t want that.”
And suddenly it makes sense that Rose tried to deter me from escaping. It wasn’t simply because she wanted Linden to have a companion after she was gone. She was trying to warn me, to spare me whatever punishment she faced for her own escape attempt.
It’s her voice, not Vaughn’s, that whispers the final words into my ear.
“If you value your life, you won’t run again.”
Chapter 13
Linden seems to have no idea that I sustained these injures trying to run away from him.
“I told him you were in the garden when the storm came,” Jenna whispers one afternoon, while Linden sleeps with his arms wrapped protectively around my elbow. “I saw you go out the window. What were you doing?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Whatever it was, I failed.”
She looks like she wants to hug me, but she can’t because it’s painful enough for me just to lie there and be looked at. “Did he believe you?” I ask.
“Governor Linden did despite the broken window. I don’t know about Housemaster Vaughn. Everyone in the kitchen said they saw you out in the garden before the storm, and that you were trying to get back inside when you heard the alarm. I think that might have convinced him.”
“They did that?” I say.
She smiles a little, tucks my hair behind my ear. “They must like you. Especially Gabriel.”
Gabriel! His blue eyes stabbing through the frenzy.
His arms opening up. I remember crashing into him. I remember feeling safe, before the world disappeared into nothingness.
“He came after me,” I say.
“Half the house went after you,” she says. “Even Governor Linden. He took a few hits from some flying branches.”
Linden. Bruised and sleeping at my side. There’s a little blood dribbling from the corner of his lips. I brush it away with my finger.
“I thought you were dead,” she says. “Gabriel carried you into the kitchen and it looked like every bone in your body was broken.”
“Pretty close,” I say.
“Cecily was screaming her head off, and it took three attendants to drag her up to her room. The Housemaster told her she was going to miscarry if she didn’t quiet down. But she’s fine, of course. You know how she gets.”
“What happened to Gabriel?” I say. I haven’t seen him since waking up. I still don’t know how much time has passed.
Linden mumbles in his sleep, startling me. He nuz-zles his face against my shoulder, and I wait for his eyes to open, but his breathing remains deep and even with sleep.
Jenna, whose eyes are suddenly serious, leans close to me. Although we’re already whispering, she wants to be extra sure nobody will hear us. “I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but be careful. Okay? I think Housemaster Vaughn suspects something.”
Vaughn. Just mention of him makes my blood go cold.
I haven’t spoken to anyone about what he said about Rose, partly because the memory is so fuzzy that I can’t delineate fact from dream, but also because I’m afraid of what he’ll do. I force him out of my mind.
I don’t know how to answer Jenna because I don’t know what’s going on between me and Gabriel. And suddenly all I can think of is the fear that makes Gabriel go rigid when Vaughn is nearby. Is it because he’s been threatened? I swallow something painful. “Is he okay?”
“He’s fine. Just a little scratched up. He’s been in a few times, but you were asleep.”
I can always trust Jenna to know what’s happening in this house. She’s quiet, a background fixture, but she misses nothing. I think of what Vaughn said about casting her back into the water. I think about her sisters being shot in that van, and tears are filling my eyes and I can’t stop myself from sobbing, and she says “Shh, shh” and kisses my forehead. “It’s okay. I’ll look out for him,” she whispers. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” I choke. But I can’t say more than that, because Housemaster Vaughn might overhear. He already knows everything. He’s already everywhere, this awful man who controls us all. And he’s right. I’m going to die here, so I might as well get comfortable. I’m starting to think he’s my real captor, and that this man sleeping beside me is as much a prisoner as his own brides.
Jenna stays with me until I exhaust myself and the pain in my ribs and my legs and my head becomes too much to stay conscious for.
In the morning I awaken to Cecily standing uneasily in the doorway. She is noticeably more pregnant. She’s becoming skinny arms and legs and a full moon of a stomach. “Hi,” she says. It’s a child’s voice.
“Hi,” my voice is like broken glass, but I know it will hurt to clear my throat. I think of what Jenna said, about Cecily screaming her head off when she saw my body.
“How are you feeling?” she asks. And before I can answer, she takes her hands out from behind her back and shows me a vase of white star-shaped flowers. “Lilies, like in your story,” she says.