Completely blown away, I fumble with the words to tell her just how impressed I am. “Iris, that was—”
Without warning, she throws her arms around my neck and crushes her lips against mine. I know kissing her back is wrong, but I’ll be damned if I don’t want her so badly at this point that I can’t stop myself from giving in. I’ve been so good with restraining myself when it comes to Iris, because protecting her from the chaos that I’ll bring her is what’s always been on the forefront of my mind.
Her fingers thrust into my hair, and I reach down and curl my hands around her thighs before hoisting her into the air. Instinctively she wraps her legs around my waist, and I thread one of my hands into her tousled curls while the other is busy cupping that perfect ass of hers.
“I’ve wanted you since you walked into my trailer,” she breathes against my lips.
A thrill shoots through me at her admission of how long she’s wanted me. “You’ve been driving me out of my mind from the moment I first saw you.”
“Then take me.” Her words leave her mouth in a breathy sigh as she gives me permission to ravage her body.
I’ve wanted her so much for so long, it would easy for me to say fuck it and give in and fuck her right here in this shed, but I know that’s a dick move on my part. Iris Easton is not the kind of girl you can sleep with one time and never see again. She’s the kind of girl that makes you change everything you thought you ever wanted in life just to be with her.
And I know for a fact I won’t be living in Sarahsville long-term. If I want to keep avoiding Jane Ann and Mopar Records, then I have to keep moving, which means one day I’ll leave this place and Iris behind.
Sleeping with her now, knowing that, would make me a fucking prick.
I pull back, breaking the lingering kiss we were just sharing, and sigh. “We can’t do this, Iris.”
A confused expression crosses her face. “Is it me? Did I do something wrong?”
I shake my head. “God no. It’s me. I don’t want to tangle you up with what’s following me. I’m not looking to put down roots here, and I’ll be leaving soon. I won’t hurt you that way.”
She blinks a couple times as she sets her feet back on the ground but leaves her fingers wound into the hair on my nape. “You can trust me, Ace. I like you. I want you. Whatever it is that you’re running from—”
I cut her off. “Isn’t your problem and I won’t drag you into the crazy life I lead. Maybe someday when I get everything sorted out, I’ll come back for you and we can try being together when everything calms down, but I don’t know how long that will be. And I won’t be a selfish bastard and ask you to wait while I figure it out. I don’t want to make my issues your problem.”
Tears drop out of her eyes and then roll down her cheeks. I’m doing exactly what I didn’t want to do. I’m hurting her and it’s killing me. I want to be with her. I want her to know the real me, but until I can figure out who the real me is now, I can’t mix her up in my madness.
She pulls away from me, and I’m tempted to grab her wrist to stop her—force her to stay with me while I spill my guts out—but I’m afraid of how she’ll react after finding out who I really am.
I don’t want to lose the realness I feel with her.
So instead, I let her go while I watch the only person I care about walk away, hurt by me.
IRIS
I haven’t spoken to Ace in over a week. Every time he’s outside and I go out to talk to him, he walks away from me and either goes inside or jumps on his bike and speeds away, making it impossible for me to make him see that no matter what he’s running from, we can work if he would give us a shot.
I know we can.
It’s like every time we take a few baby steps forward, we tumble back down the ever-growing mountain he puts up between us. I’m not sure if the two of us will ever get over it at this point.
We’ve both admitted that we’re attracted to one another, and we’ve both voiced how much we want to be together, but whatever Ace is hiding holds him back from allowing a relationship between us to progress.
I’ve been out in the shed every day since we kissed, practicing my posture and eye contact when I sing, just like he taught me. It’s easy for me to remember how his hands felt on me—how electric his touch was, forcing the things he taught me to stay sharp in my mind.
I don’t know how he knew how to fix my performance, but he did. The crazy thing is, he gave me tips like a professional would. He was totally comfortable performing, like he’d done it a million times before. He was able to instill confidence in me. He made me feel sexy, and the looks he threw me as I sang made me feel desired—wanted. That’s why I couldn’t keep from practically jumping his bones when I was through.
Even though he’s back to avoiding me like the plague, Ace has still been doing things to help me, which shows me that he still cares about me.
He fixed Gran’s car sometime during the night after we kissed. When Birdie and I went out to jump-start the car, we were shocked to see that we no longer needed to do that. I know it was Ace who fixed the car, because how else does a brand-new battery randomly show up in a nearly twenty-year-old car?
That man is exceedingly thoughtful. I just wish he’d let me in.
I sip the last bit of my morning coffee as an idea strikes me. When I was in New York and had Internet on my mini tablet, I could Google just about anything I wanted and find an answer. It’s completely wrong of me to invade Ace’s privacy like this, but I just have to know more about him. He acts like what he’s hiding could hurt me, and if that’s the case, maybe I should really heed his advice and leave him to his solitude.