“Which is why I’m not going to name her the Vessel.” Ethan stretched across the bed. “Not right away. First, I’ll give Nathan any woman he wants, let him choose several a night if it makes him happy. Once he accepts our ways, once we have enough pictures that he wouldn’t want her or the outside world to see, he’ll become more pliable, I promise.”
“Pliable? That’s not a word I’d ever associate with him.”
“He’s a man, isn’t he? He won’t be able to resist what we have to offer.”
“There are some men who could.”
Ethan propped himself against the pillows. “Men like yourself?”
“Men like your father.”
“You mean, a rigid bastard?” he said with a grimace.
“I mean, a man who prides himself on honor and control. That’s what Robert’s like, isn’t it?”
Ethan shrugged. He knew he didn’t have as much honor in his whole body and soul as the old man had in his little finger. He had even less control. And he hated the contrast. “But Nathan’s young and hot-blooded. He’s not so different from me. You could see the way he watched Rachel when she was in my arms. He’s as sexual as I am. I just have to convince him that I’m his friend so he’ll let down his guard and indulge. Grady was hesitant at first, too, remember?”
“Grady will hump anything that moves. I don’t think he’s a good comparison.” Bart rubbed the oil between his hands, warming it before touching Ethan’s skin.
“We could throw a few temptations his way, gauge his level of interest, then decide. Rachel’s worth fighting for.”
“You thought Courtney was worth fighting for, too. And she’s now in a grave under that window.”
Ethan shoved the pillows aside and moved onto his stomach in preparation for his massage. “Thanks to your lousy plot selection.”
“Closer is better. Trust me.”
He did, which was why he’d allowed it.
“I’m merely making the point that there’ll be others,” Bart continued, smoothing the oil up and down Ethan’s spine. Bart knew every muscle, every sore spot. He’d given Ethan at least a hundred massages, more in recent weeks than ever before.
“That feels good,” he moaned.
“Good enough that you’ll leave Rachel alone?”
A year ago, Ethan would’ve thrown Bart out for trying to persuade him to change his mind. But he’d been growing more and more dependent on Bart and his opinions. What had started out as tolerance in exchange for devotion had grown into a bond he preferred not to classify, primarily because it called his sexuality into question. That was something he’d never doubted before. He’d always been heterosexual, and he still was.
Except, perhaps, when it came to Bart.
“Don’t make me angry,” he said.
Bart laughed. “I’m not. I’m giving you exactly what you want, aren’t I?”
“How do you know it’s what I want?”
“Because no one else can take care of you like I can.”
Ethan couldn’t argue with that. “Why do you do it?”
“I just told you.”
“You love me.”
No response.
“How much?” It was the first time Ethan had ever asked. He’d never really wanted to hear it spoken aloud before. But tonight… There was something different going on, something titillating.
“More than life,” Bart admitted.
Ethan rolled to his right, once again exposing himself. “How does that translate into action?”
Their eyes met, but Bart didn’t answer.
A tremor of fear and excitement ran through Ethan. “No reply?”
“You already know my answer. I’ll do anything to have you.”
Clasping his hands behind his neck, Ethan gazed at his own quickly growing erection. He could have any woman in the compound, yet he wanted Bart? He almost couldn’t believe it, but he couldn’t deny it, either. The lust was as real as it was powerful. “Why don’t you show me?”
The strength of the emotion that flickered in Bart’s eyes took Ethan’s breath away, yet Bart hesitated. “Once you cross that line, there’s no going back. Are you sure you’re ready?”
Bart acted as if it had been coming to this all along, as if he’d expected it. Ethan arched one eyebrow. “How can you be so sure I’ll enjoy it?”
“Because I know you.”
That was true. Bart was the only person in the world who loved him for who and what he really was. “Sounds like it’s a good thing we’re alone.”
“You won’t be able to tell anyone about this, not even the Guides.”
Bart was still protecting him. He finally had a chance to share his feelings in a physical sense and yet he was holding back because he feared for Ethan. Had anyone else ever cared about him this much? “You think I don’t know that?” he said. “The Covenanters won’t abide homosexuality, even if it’s just a little fling.”
“This isn’t a fling, Ethan. Or I’m not interested.”
Ethan narrowed his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about an ongoing relationship.”
“No way! My people would see that kind of relationship as a threat to the traditional family on which I’ve founded this church!”
“That’s why they can’t ever find out. Do you think I’ve waited this long for a momentary thrill? I could’ve taken that secretly with Todd and let him repent afterward.”
“Except that you’re impotent.”
Bart didn’t seem the least bit ashamed. “An unfortunate medical disorder. But there are a lot of ways around that, and you know it.”
Ethan considered the man with whom he’d spent much of the past five years and realized that Bart’s impotence might actually be an advantage. For him, anyway. Ethan had never been particularly adept at giving pleasure. He preferred to be the recipient. With Bart, he wouldn’t have to give anything. He’d only have to let Bart express his love. “You’re saying you’re good with your hands?”
The smile Ethan expected didn’t appear. With Bart they were rare. But the conviction in Bart’s voice made his blood simmer. “You have no idea what I could do to you.”
Somehow, taking this step seemed like an extension of what they’d already been doing. Bart had been taking care of Ethan for a long time. He was just offering to take care of him on a sexual level, as well. It was as natural as…as courtship leading to marriage, he told himself. But secrecy wasn’t his only concern….