We stare at each other while Nolan continues slaying the dragons in front of us. His gray eyes are bright and filled with adoration. It is the look I want Ben to reserve just for me. The look he’s given me several times before. At the dam, standing in his parents’ living room after we discovered each other by the pool, and in his truck. It’s the look that teeters us on the edge of the friend zone, because I’ve never been looked at by a friend this way before. I want Ben to say something else to me. I want to hear more of his honesty, and for a split second, it looks like he is going to give me what I want. But instead, he breaks our connection and glances down at his watch. “I gotta go.” He looks at me again with the same tender gaze. “I probably won’t be back until close to 12:30 a.m., but if you need anything, just call me.”
I place my hand on his arm and squeeze it gently. “We’ll be fine. Go arrest some bad guys, Officer Kelly.” My voice doesn’t waver at his title, but I can’t deny the rush of adrenaline that spikes through me when I say it. I wink at him and move into the bedroom, scooping up a few smaller dragons. Nolan looks at me and beams as I sit on the edge of the bed, watching him slay the biggest dragon in the room. I laugh at him and turn my head, hoping to see Ben standing there, but he is gone. And I know that I shouldn’t feel disappointed because I will see him later on tonight but I can’t help it. At least I have one Kelly boy to keep me company while I think about another one.
Nolan was like this tiny ball of energy that seemed to recharge the more he moved around. I’d never seen a kid go from one activity to another with such gusto. After he slayed dragons for a good hour, he had a snack and wanted to watch his Mike the Knight DVD. But he didn’t sit still during that. He jumped around in front of the couch and swung his tiny sword in the air, mimicking the movements on the screen. We colored a few pictures, made a fort out of the extra bed sheets I found in the closet, and blew bubbles on the back patio. I saw his first yawn, the only indication he’d given me all night that he was slowing down, at 8:20 p.m. After changing him into his pajamas, I brushed his teeth and grabbed the books out of the duffle bag.
He settles under the covers in one of the spare bedrooms, holding his stuffed dragon in a death grip. “Wead that one fiwst,” he says in a sleepy voice, pointing toward a book about trucks. I prop against the headboard and hold the book out in my lap, reading in a soft voice. He closes his eyes when I am halfway through it, but I finish it anyway. After giving him a kiss on his forehead, I quietly exit the bedroom and plop down on the couch with my phone.
Me: Little knight is down for the count. Slaying thirty seven dragons takes a lot out of a three-year-old.
I turn off the Mike the Knight DVD that is still playing and change the channel to something I am interested in. My phone beeps as I lie back on the sofa, but it isn’t a text from the person I am dying to talk to, and see for that matter. This is the first time I grunt at the sight of this particular name on my screen.
Tessa: I haven’t told him yet and I don’t know if I’m going to. What if he freaks out and ends it? What if he wants me to abort the baby? I’d never do that, but isn’t it his decision as much as mine? We’ve had sex three times since I got over here and I don’t even know if that’s good for my current situation.
Me: First of all, why isn’t he at work with Ben? Secondly, you freaking out is definitely not good for the baby, so calm down please. And third, do you really think Luke is the type of guy to ditch his pregnant girlfriend? I’ve only been around him a few times and I know he isn’t like that.
Tessa: I’m not his girlfriend! I don’t know what the hell I am, but he’s never labeled me as that. Fuck buddy seems more appropriate.
Tessa: Ben is riding solo tonight. They don’t always patrol together.
I chuckle and prop a pillow under my head.
Me: Just grow a pair and tell him. And I say that in my best Tessa style voice because you know that’s exactly what you’d be saying to me. :)
Tessa: Speaking of growing a pair…
Me: Shut up.
Tessa: Just saying, bitch.
I know exactly what she is getting at. Grow a pair. Please. I told Ben that I’m in danger of causing permanent damage to my hand from excessive mast***ation and I need to grow a pair? I turn onto my side and tuck one hand underneath my head. My phone beeps again and this time, I can’t contain the smile that spreads across my face.
Ben: I can’t wait to hear all about it. See ya in a few hours.
I look at the time on my phone. Three hours and forty three minutes to be exact. Not that I’m counting.
**
“Mia? Mia, hey, wake up.”
“Hmm?” My eyes slowly open and Ben’s face comes into view. “Oh, hey. Sorry. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” I roll over onto my back and stretch my arms over my head, seeing Ben’s eyes drop to my body and widen before he quickly turns away from me. And I mean quickly, as in he can’t get me out of his sight fast enough. I furrow my brows. “What? What is it?”
He clears his throat as I sit up, still completely oblivious to whatever it is that’s making him react to me this way. He stays facing the kitchen, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand. “You might want to put something on. Your…breasts are really noticeable in that top.”
Breasts? Oh, how formal.
I glance down quickly, seeing my erect ni**les poking through my sheer tank. But I’m not embarrassed at all. I’m irritated. Really irritated all of a sudden. My boobs are making him uncomfortable? Well, that’s just great. I stand up with a clenched jaw and walk past him, grabbing the hoodie I had taken off earlier and slipping it over my head. “Christ, Ben. You act like you haven’t seen them before or sucked them for that matter.” I snap my head in his direction and see the shock on his face. “They’re just tits.”