Except she had a sinking feeling that he would never be just Michael ever again.
Still, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t gone over what she might say a million times in her head. But all of her platitudes and explanations sounded rather inadequate now that she was faced with the prospect of actually uttering them aloud.
How nice to see you, Michael, she could say, pretending that nothing had happened.
Or- You must realize that nothing will change-even though, of course, everything had changed.
Or she could make good humor her guide and open with something like- Can you believe the silliness of it all?
Except that she rather doubted either of them had found it silly.
And so she just accepted that she was going to have make it all up as she went along, and she stepped through the doorway into Kilmartin’s famed and lovely rose drawing room.
He was standing by the window-watching for her, perhaps?-and didn’t turn when she entered. He looked travelworn, with slightly wrinkled clothing and ruffled hair. He wouldn’t have ridden all the way to Scotland- only a fool or a man chasing someone to Gretna would do that. But she had traveled with Michael often enough to know that he’d probably joined the driver in front for a fair bit of the trip. He’d always hated closed carriages for long journeys and had more than once sat in the drizzle and rain rather than remain penned in with the rest of the passengers.
She didn’t say his name. She could have done, she supposed. She wasn’t buying herself very much time; he would turn around soon enough. But for now she just wanted to take the time to acclimate herself to his presence, to make sure that her breathing was under control, that she wasn’t going to do something truly foolish like burst into tears, or, just as likely, erupt with silly, nervous laughter.
“Francesca,” he said, without even turning around.
He’d sensed her presence, then. Her eyes widened, although she shouldn’t have been surprised. Ever since he’d left the army he’d had an almost catlike ability to sense his surroundings. It was probably what had kept him alive during the war. No one, apparently, could attack him from behind.
“Yes,” she said. And then, because she thought she should say more, she added, “I trust you had a pleasant journey.”
He turned. “Very much so.”
She swallowed, trying not to notice how handsome he was. He’d quite taken her breath away in London, but here in Scotland he seemed changed. Wilder, more elemental.
Far more dangerous to her soul.
“Is anything amiss in London?” she asked, hoping there was some sort of practical purpose to his visit. Because if there wasn’t, then he had come just for her, and that scared the very devil out of her.
“Nothing amiss,” he said, “although I do bear news.”
She tilted her head, waiting for his reply.
“Your brother has become betrothed.”
“Colin?” she asked in surprise. Her brother had been so committed to his life as a bachelor that she wouldn’t have been shocked if he’d told her that the lucky fellow was actually her younger brother Gregory, even though he was nearly ten years Colin’s junior.
Michael nodded. “To Penelope Featherington.”
‘To Penel-oh, my, that is a surprise. But lovely, I should say. I think she will suit him tremendously.“
Michael took a step toward her, his hands remaining clasped behind his back. “I thought you would want to know.”
And he couldn’t have penned a letter? “Thank you,” she said. “I appreciate your thoughtfulness. It’s been a long time since we’ve had a wedding in the family. Not since-”
Mine, they both realized she’d been about to say.
The silence hung in the room like an unwanted guest, and then finally she broke it with, “Well, it has been a long time. My mother must be delighted.”
“She is quite,” Michael confirmed. “Or so your brother told me. I didn’t have an opportunity to converse with her myself.”
Francesca cleared her throat, then tried to feign comfort with the strange tableau by giving a little wave with one of her hands as she asked, “Will you stay long?”
“I haven’t decided,” he said, taking another step in her direction. “It depends.”
She swallowed. “On what?”
He’d halved the distance between them. “On you,” he said softly.
She knew what he meant, or at least she thought she did, but the last thing she wanted to do just then was acknowledge what had transpired in London, so she backed up a step-which was as far as she could go without actu-ally fleeing the room-and pretended to misunderstand. “Don’t be silly,” she said. “Kilmartin is yours. You may come and go as you please. I have no control over your actions.”
His lips curved into a wry smile. “Is that what you think?” he murmured.
And she realized he’d halved the distance between them yet again.
“I’ll have a room readied for you,” she said hastily. “Which would you like?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“The earl’s bedchamber, then,” she said, well aware that she was babbling now. “It’s only right. I’ll move down the hall. Or, er, to another wing,” she added, mumbling.
He took another step toward her. “That may not be necessary.”
Her eyes flew to his. What was he suggesting? Surely he didn’t think that a single kiss in London would give him leave to avail himself of the connecting door between the earl’s and countess’s bedchambers?