Chapter 17: The Troublemaking Old Lady
Translator: EndlessFantasy Translation Editor: EndlessFantasy Translation
"Well, it seems like I have no business here anymore. I'm exhausted, do excuse me as I go and get some rest," said the old lady who was sitting quietly by the side while Dick Fulner was getting himself ready with the chamber pot. She was Benjamin’s grandmother.
Her sudden speech took Benjamin by surprise, and the crowd's attention diverted away.
"Madame, do feel free to rest if you’re tired. No one would condemn your absence for such a trivial matter."
Accius Fulner replied immediately without waiting for Claude’s response.
"I am an elderly now, I need to be here whenever things happen so people would remember that I still exist. Am I right?" The madame spoke nonchalantly. She also sounded like she was mocking someone while she was yawning.
Accius shook his head, "Ah, you must be joking, madame."
Benjamin stood at the sideline, taking in the conversation. His conflict with Dick was immediately set aside once the madame expressed herself. Thus, it can be concluded that his grandmother with her peculiar personality had a great status within the household.
However, Benjamin had a premonition that the madame's actual intention was not to retire for the night. If she did, why would she express these insinuating remarks?
Was she trying to stir up trouble?
If it is, she should do so as soon, and as big of a trouble as possible. This could provide him some time to come up with a plan for him to get through this mess.
"I'll let Anna attend to you as you rest."
Claude told the madame as he rose and turned to make eye contact with the servants by the door.
"There will be no need for that. What, do you think I'm too old to do anything? I could walk by my own," the madame waved dismissively, and stood with her cane.
"But...." Claude was hesitant.
"What 'but'? Mary hasn't said anything, so why are you so distressed? Am I right, Mary?" Impatiently, the madame interrupted Claude and instead looked at Benjamin's mother, who was standing beside Claude.
Mary - Benjamin's mother, Claude's wife. Obviously, she would be shocked, as would never have expected the madame to pass the conversation to her. Her eyes widened, and her hands covered her gaping mouth.
After some consideration, Mary answered, "It depends entirely on you, mother, for I have no opinions on this matter."
The madame let out a 'hmph' after she heard her words. No one could interpret her emotions.
In his heart, Benjamin was busy criticizing the situation. An in-law conflict, and one that failed to even build into a proper fight. This would not be of much help to him, and it would not be able to drag much time as well. Once the madame left the hall, Dick Fulner would again hold his chamber pot high, aimed towards him.
There was no time for him to stay put being an audience. There was nothing to watch anyway, as unlike the drama all over the television channels.
He should hurry up and think of what to do!
If Dick insisted to hit him with the chamber pot, could he be hard-headed and disagree anyways? Claude would not disown him from the Lithur family, would he?
What if he was actually disowned?
Benjamin's heart went cold. If he was disowned, he would have no choice but to seek refuge with the church. The church would not treat him badly as they would still need him for Michelle's capture. However, if he wanted to learn magic under the eyes of the church, it would literally feel like going into the Nightmare Level right after the Tutorial - the game was rigged and anti-human.
He would be more pathetic if he ended up on the streets. The church would never allow him to be homeless though, and they would probably put him under their control. To some degree, staying in the Lithur family would be the best choice he could make to guarantee his freedom of movement.
What a headache....
Just as Benjamin was plotting his escape route, the madame who was preparing her departure did something very strange. As if she was suddenly weakened. her cane slipped, she swung and fell to her side.
Her fall was not a big problem. However, her cane that was flung to the opposite side of the room went towards exactly where Dick was standing with the chamber pot.
While everyone was still stunned, the cane hit Dick's ankles hard. Dick's legs buckled and fell backwards, and he collapsed to the ground.
The chamber pot in his hands was thrown from his hand as he fell. It flew high and drew a beautiful parabola in the air. Then, it struck accurately on the fallen Dick's face.
Bang!
A dark liquid splattered everywhere, and like a gigantic flower, it bloomed on his face in an abstract fashion.
The crowd gasped and backed away from Dick. They avoided the flabbergasted Dick like how they would avoid an epidemic.
Dick was still on the floor, his face bewildered. He touched his face with his hands, and slowly moved them before his eyes. When he saw the brown matter that stained his hands, his whole face trembled, and his irises emitted a deep anguish.
"Ahhhhhhhhhh!"
Accompanied with his agonized cry, Dick fainted once again in a pool of shit.
As the series of events unfolded like a flash, the people had no time to give any reaction other than avoiding the filth by running away from him.
Benjamin's grandmother, who was the cause of the entire incident, reacted even before the chamber pot fell onto the floor. She hid at the side of the living room door, as she pressed her hand onto her chest. Her expression was one of innocence and alarm.
The living room was silent.
Benjamin snapped back into reality, and he stared at the wide-eyed old lady who was hiding by the door. He was deeply astonished.
Nowadays, not only the young wanted to be troublemakers. Even the elders wanted to make the news!
He glanced at the surrounding crowd who were so stunned that they looked dumb. Benjamin learnt from his mistake. The first person who caught attention would always bear the brunt of the blame, and he should now stay invisible before someone else broke the silence. He refused to talk before that.
No matter what, this was the second time he was in a situation like this. He had experience now.
However, the people around him seemed to have had much more experience in this than the next person.
No one even squeaked as they sank themselves in their disbelief. No one changed their expressions as they stared at Dick who was in a puddle of feces. They were so deep in shock that they did not even move to cover their noses from the stench.
It was as if someone froze time, and the only indication that time still moved were the crows continuing to crow outside.
The situation was like a battle of patience, and Dick's cry was a call of 'Red Light!'
Benjamin felt confused.
What were they doing?
"All of them are nobles, they have more experience in this than you," the System chided in his heart, "Of course, it is also possible that the people in this world generally have a much slower response rate. Regardless of what happened, they are just slow."
"...."
Benjamin was speechless.
A weird sound finally ended the endless and eerie silence of 'shock'. Benjamin was taken aback, but he suddenly realized that his stomach was the source of the noise.
At this environment, the croak was exceptionally loud and clear.
.....He was hungry.
Once again, all eyes focused on Benjamin.
It was too late for Benjamin to regret his actions. Just now, he remembered that he had not eaten anything since he was teleported into this world. At least, he did not ingest anything when he was conscious and awake. He had no idea if anyone fed him when he was in the comatose state during the three days.
That breakfast he was supposed to have? His grandmother managed to stop him from having it. He was famished, but as the events piled up in front of him, he momentarily forgot his need for food.
Now, the hunger must have reached a state where the ticking time bomb finally exploded.
He was brought into the limelight once again.
As if she was awakened, the madame suddenly said just as Benjamin was screaming in panic in his heart, "Ah…. Much apologies. It probably was due to the worn out base of my cane. I didn’t manage to grip it properly, and it hurt the child. Oh, Duke Fulner, I surely hope you won’t take offence?"
The words of the old lady was similar to a chanting of a spell to break a curse, as everyone was taken back to reality. They looked at each other in confusion as if they just woke up from a huge shock, exchanging looks of disbelief. There were no clues of mischief in their expressions.
"This…." Accius Fulner looked at his child on the ground, and the plump flesh on his face throbbed. He still looked dumbfounded and dazed.
"Mother, are you alright?" Claude asked the madame. At his command, a few servants approached her, trying to aid the lady.
"No need. I’m a pile of old bones now, what could happen to me?" She refused their assistance.
Claude glanced at the fallen Dick once again, and his face gradually turned sour. A few people who Benjamin was yet to know exchanged glances, and became embarrassed. They looked like members of the Fulner family. One of them patted Accius on the shoulder and whispered in his ear.
Accius crumpled his brows deeply. He gave the shocked madame a glance, and said reluctantly, "Madame, you’re making things difficult for us."
The old lady tidied her hair and said seriously, "Oh, do not worry. I am old now, how could I put you in a difficult situation? I will give you a satisfying answer for everything that has transpired today. Your child wanted justice, right? How about this, we prepare another one of these things, and let your child hit me with it. Then, we will be equal. There is no need to let the church be aware of this, and we should also never become the joke of the other nobles. Don’t you agree?"
Before Accius could reply, the blood already drained out of Claude’s face, "Mother?"
"This is my business, and I will settle it. Do not interrupt this," the madame dismissed Claude with a wave of her hand, and once again spoke deliberately to Accius, "Do you have any comments for my proposed solution?"
Accius was baffled as he obviously could not understand the lady’s notion.
"This… How could we ever do this to you, madame? Stop joking around, my lady."
The lady remained stoic, "No, this cannot be. Your child wanted revenge, and for the honor of the nobles, we must do what we speak. Benjamin’s mistake was dealt with that way, thus my mistake should also be dealt with similarly. Come, hit me with that thing. I will not go back on my words in order to beg for your forgiveness."
Accius was surprised by the serious tone of the madame. He felt that something was off, but he was forced to answer intuitively by the intimidating aura of the old lady.
"No, how could we do something like that? That was an honest mistake, and we will forgive you."
After hearing this, the madame’s face was colored with surprise. She took a glimpse at the unconscious Dick, and raised her eyebrows thoughtfully. She turned her eyes for a moment, and steeled her gaze on Accius.
"The Duke’s generosity is indeed impressive. Then, I will represent my grandson Benjamin to also thank you for your kind forgiveness." Before anyone could respond, she turned to the servants at the door and said, "Alright, the matter is finally done. The guests from the Fulners will be leaving now, quick, escort them."
After she directed them, she turned back again, her movements so swift they did not resemble those of a 70-year-old woman. Before Accius could object, she continued speaking to the Fulners. Her friendly spirit stopped Accius from tumbling words that almost came out of his mouth.
"I really wanted to make you stay as guests, but the Duke is too busy to do so. Since we solved this issue perfectly today, you should’ve felt no anger anymore. Everyone is happy, and I will not force you to stay."
As she spoke, she paused momentarily, then gave a wrinkled and loving smile.
"Duke Accius, safe travels and may you lead a happy life."
Duke Accius was flabbergasted.