It was selfish, but I wanted it so much to be an avenue we could take. I understood his concern for those he cared about. If I had to risk letting John or Nell die, I wouldn't do it, either.
We sat in quiet.
"Are you … serious about what you said? That there's nothing I can do here to fulfill Carter's goal?" I was hurting again.
"Not the way you described."
"And if Running Bear dies, then you just …"
"Cease to exist."
"I couldn't handle that outcome." Not ready for a husband or love, neither was I ready to lose the one man I knew I could trust, who cared about me enough to protect me from his own people.
Taylor was one of the best men I'd ever met. If I had to be stuck in the past with someone, he was a good choice. I could even see myself adjusting to a life here with him.
"Sheriff!" one of the deputies called.
"Josie, please, go home. I'll be back late, but when I am, we'll figure this all out."
I didn't like the answer at all, but I didn't know what else to do. With a nod, I resisted the urge to grab my phone and text Carter. There were too many people milling in the neighboring office.
"Good." Taylor touched my cheek and planted a warm kiss on my forehead. "I'm sending another deputy with you. There's one at the house already."
He rose and went to the door separating the two spaces, speaking quietly to someone. I half expected him to smile or turn back and offer up some sort of better solution than we take everything and run.
He didn't. I knew he had a lot on his mind, considering his own life was at stake. Even so, I needed something more concrete this time. And … I was burning to tell him about real-Josie, because there was no one else I could tell. The burden of her death wasn't one I thought I could carry alone.
Her death surely had nothing to do with the third agent from his agency that was in town to finish what the other two didn't. Josie had been dead at least a year. I was in danger from two directions, one I knew and wasn't going to prevent without Taylor's help, and the other I hadn't pieced together yet.
I owe Fighting Badger my life. Yet I had no clue if his protection and Taylor's was going to be enough for me to survive the past, especially if Carter couldn't fix the microchip he seemed to think was malfunctioning.