I wanted him to see just how much he had forsaken.
And I wanted to make him want us back.
The whole house seemed to be up at the crack of dawn. Anna and Helen knew that James had called. Helen came into my room at about seven-thirty and ran over to Kate's bassinet and said, "Oh good, you've made her look gorgeous. That'll show him. Let's just hope that she doesn't puke on him or do a poo in her diaper when he's holding her."
She picked up Kate and admired the outfit.
"Do you think we could put a pink ribbon in her hair, to match?" she asked.
"Helen, if she had more hair, I'd consider it," I told her.
But when Helen suggested that we put some makeup on her, I decided that that was going too far.
"Right, we have to make you look beautiful too," said Helen.
I wasn't too sure if I liked her tone.
It sounded a bit doubtful or defeatist, somehow.
Then Dad arrived.
"I'm off to work now," he said. "But remember what I said. You don't have to go back with him just for Kate's sake."
"Who says he's going to ask her to go back with him?" asked Helen loudly.
There really had been no need for her to say that. But she had a point.
Then Mum arrived.
259
"How are you bearing up?" she asked kindly.
"Fine," I said.
"All right," she said. "You go off and have a shower. Helen and I will keep an eye on Kate."
"Oh, all right." I was a little bit taken aback at all the organizing and activity. It was nearly like the morning that I got married.
In came Anna.
I thought I might go downstairs and open the front door and start inviting strangers in off the street.
Anna smiled sweetly at me and held something out to me. "Claire, take this crystal and put it in a pocket or something. It'll bring you luck."
"She's going to need more than one of your crappy old crystals," said Helen bluntly.
"Stop that, Helen," said Mum sharply.
"What!" said Helen, outraged.
"Do you have to be so mean?" said Mum.
"I wasn't being mean," Helen defended herself hotly. "But if she looks nice and acts like she's fine he'll want her. You don't need a crystal to do that."
I looked at Helen almost in shock.
She might be one of the most irritating idiotic people I've ever met, but when it comes to the psychology of men, I had to hand it to her, she was a master.
But I took the crystal anyway.
Because you never know.
I had to get away from my family for a little while. I couldn't think straight. I had to calm myself before I could talk to James.
I'd call Laura, I decided. She'd tell me what to do.
"Laura," I said in a trembly voice when she answered.
"Oh, Claire," she burst out. "I was just about to call you. Guess what!"
That's my line, I was thinking.
"What?" I asked.
"That little bastard Adrian has just dumped me."
Adrian, being, of course, her nineteen-year-old art student.
"What?" I said again.
"Yes," she said tearfully. "Can you believe it?"
260
"But I thought you didn't care about him," I said in surprise.
"So did I," she sobbed. "And wait until you hear! Guess why he dumped me."
"Why," I asked, wondering what was the reason. Had she finally run out of socks?
"Because he's met someone else," declared Laura. "And guess what age she is."
"Thirteen," I hazarded.
"No!" she shouted. "Thirty-bloody-seven!"
"Good God!" I said.
I was shocked.
"Yes," she said, barely able to speak because she was crying so much. "He says that I'm immature."
"The little pup."
"That he needs someone more centered."
"How dare he!"
"And I was just doing him a favor by going out with him. And he's just left me here," she sobbed. "Without a sock to my name."
"Jesus, that's grim," I said, shaking my head in a resigned way.
"Look," she said in a tragic way, "I have to go. I'll be late for work. I'll talk to you later."
And she hung up.
How about that? She probably thought I was calling to spill the beans about my night of passion with Adam. Little did she know of the great drama that had occurred in the meantime.
I sat looking at the phone for a few seconds.
Who would I call?
No one, I decided.
I'd try to deal with this on my own.
If I couldn't deal with my own life, I couldn't in all fairness expect anyone else to be able to.
I took a shower, washed my hair and went back into my room, where some pointless argument seemed to be in process among Anna, Helen (of course) and Mum. All three of them were shouting at the same time. Kate was lying in her bassinet being completely ignored.
261
"I did not make a face at you," Anna denied as emphatically as she could, which wasn't very much.
"You bloody well did," Helen said.
"It wasn't a face," Mum said, trying to pour oil on water that was very troubled indeed. "It was more of a look."
The babel of voices stopped abruptly as soon as I came into the room and all three of them turned their faces expectantly toward me. It seemed that they had decided to abandon their internecine differences and unite with me against the common enemy, James. They ran around, got me clothes and dressed me up.
"You have to look beautiful," said Anna.
"Yes," agreed Helen. "But you have to look as if you didn't try at all. Like you just flung on any old thing."
"But he's only calling me at ten o'clock," I reminded them. "He didn't say anything about coming over."
"Yes," said Mum. "But he didn't come all the way to Dublin just to call you. He could have done that from London."
Good point.
"Okay girls," I said to Anna and Helen. "In that case make me beautiful."
"We said we'd loan you clothes and do your makeup," said Helen. "We never said that we could do miracles." But she was smiling as she said it.