* * *

"Kenny, do you ever wonder what people are doing on the other side

of the ocean?" she asked, as they lay side by side on the blanket. Having

considered every contingency, he had brought along his black sweat shirt

embroidered with the gold Taj Mahal logo. Maddy lay wrapped up in it

now, relishing its warmth and the lingering scent of its owner's aftershave.

He held his arms tightly around her as she laid her head on his chest.

They'd eaten their fill of gourmet treats and were now content to just

embrace the magnificent scene around them-as well as each other.

"Hmm, well I've actually gotten to see what many of them were up to

firsthand, during my Navy days," he explained. "Unfortunately, not all of

it was good."

"We're very blessed to live in this country, aren't we?"

"Yes, we are," he agreed, kissing her forehead.

"Kenny?"

"Yes?"

"No one has ever done anything this sweet or thoughtful for me-

ever. At least no one I've ever dated, anyway." Then lifting her head up to

look at him, she whispered, "Thank you."

He gently stroked her auburn hair with his hands as they first joined

eyes and then lips.

"You deserve all of this and so much more, sweetheart," he assured

her in his husky voice, in between soft, damp kisses that awakened their

senses and ignited their passions.

* * *

"Looks like they're not back yet," Maddy remarked, when she saw

that her mother's red Dodge sedan was noticeably absent. She and Kenny

had just pulled into the driveway from the alley; the little house sat in

darkness, save for the subtle glow of the porch light. "They must be

winning big!" She added with a laugh.

"Wow, it's pretty late," he agreed. "Louis must be cleaning up with

video poker; maybe they can't tear him away from the machine!" Maddy

cracked up at the thought.

"So, do you want to come in and keep me company 'til they get

back?" she asked. She tried not to think about what she might actually

look like at the moment; after several wonderful hours spent enjoying

each other's company on an increasingly windy beach, her contact lenses

now felt like irritating pieces of sand in her eyes, while her disheveled hair

hung in knots past her shoulders. Unknown to Maddy, however, these

facts only made her that much more endearing to him.

He placed the clutch in park, and then turned to look at her, still clad

in his black sweatshirt; because it was so big for her petite frame, it hung

almost past her skirt, setting off her shapely dancer's legs. Ken glanced at

them in appreciation before taking her tiny hand in his and lifting it to his

lips, in what was now his typical fashion.

"Sure, sweetheart," he whispered.

A few moments later they were snuggled on the couch watching a

movie, although he could never quite get comfortable. Gambling

predilections aside, he had no idea when Maddy's family would come

bounding through the sliding glass doors, full of funny tales of visiting

New Yorkers with obnoxious accents and jackpots that got away.

Although she'd assured him that the sound of the tires on the concrete

would tip them off, he remained on the vigilant side as he held his arm

around her waist and rested his head on the pillow above hers. In spite of

himself, he couldn't help but wonder how it would feel to truly make love

to her; his heart raced at the thought.

"Maddy?" he asked softly, as he traced her arm from shoulder to

wrist.

"Mmm-hmm?" She was exquisitely lost in the moment.

"Don't you ever get curious?"

She turned her body so that she was now looking at him directly.

"Curious about what?"

"You know," he gave her a telling glance, followed by a raised

eyebrow. Then he felt sudden regret for even having asked the question.

But relief washed over him when he saw a smile slowly form on her

face. "Well…" she began, her voice trailing off. As desirable as he made

her feel and as tempted as she was, there remained an underlying fear, an

almost irrational insecurity when it came to this very intimate act between

a man and a woman.

For Maddy, it went far beyond the "your body is a temple of the Holy

Spirit" teachings of the Catholic Church, repeated so often throughout

her schooling she could almost hear them in her sleep. She'd long ago

accepted the validity of these words; indeed, she took them to heart and

wanted nothing more than to give herself to her husband-whoever he

might turn out to be-for the very first time on their wedding night. It

was simply that, as she grew older, she realized how few people, good

people, had practically applied the same beliefs. Even Jake in all of his selfrighteousness

had admitted to sleeping with his college girlfriend, though

he claimed that his ensuing guilt over it had been partially to blame for

their break-up.

Beyond all of that, Maddy struggled with some deep-rooted insecurity

about not being quite good enough, not having a body acceptable enough

(she was after all, very small-breasted as Jake had so cruelly reminded her

that evening), and not adequately aware enough of how exactly to please a

man. And hadn't she read stories in the hottest women's fashion magazines about men

leaving their wives over sexual dissatisfaction? Hadn't she seen the endless articles

about how to be better in bed?

And now as she stared into Kenny's expressive blue eyes, sublimely at

home in his arms, she struggled for an answer. He really did seem to love

her for her, yet it had only been a few weeks. How could she really trust in

that? True, she believed him when he told her about Liz Anne, but surely

there had been others, right? He was just too cute, too warm and

appealing not to have had other women. She certainly didn't hold it

against him; she was fairly certain her own brother Greg, whose

personality much mirrored Ken's, had also tasted forbidden fruit on more

than one occasion, prior to his engagement to Vanessa. But would Kenny

really be willing to wait for her over the long haul?

She wanted so much to confide in him her conflicted emotions, to

explain what was held so very deeply within her being. But as with that

night in his waterbed, there was a frustrating disconnection between her

innermost thoughts and their eloquent expression. All she could manage

was some lame answer about how sex belonged within the confines of a

marriage. Undeterred, he just smiled at her as he traced the curve of her

face.

"I know, sweetheart and I respect that so much," he assured her in

his deep, sexy voice. "I just wondered that's all. I know I'd like to know

what it's like be with you. Guess I'll just have to marry you to find out."

Then, as if sensing her apprehension, he asked with some concern,

"Does it bother you that I've been with a woman before?"

"Kenny, no," she sighed. "No…I don't judge you for that at all. I

mean, it's completely normal. It's just that…well…I just wish that we

were on the same level playing field in that regard, that's all. I know it's

probably too much to hope for with any guy, but it kind of makes me feel

bad, like I am not being fair to you."

"Shh," he replied softly, "Madeline Rose, I am here with you because

I wanna be. There's no one else like you out there. And if I have to wait

for you until I can marry you, then that is exactly what I'm gonna do."

God, he really did melt her heart.




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