* * *
"C'mon Maddy, you have to go to the meeting tonight! Audrey and
Carolyn will be there and I know how much they want to see you. And
this month's speaker is supposed to be fabulous!"
Maddy regarded Elyse's words with a certain amount of skepticism as
she paced around her ceramic-tiled kitchen. Her beautiful blonde friend
had been chatting nonstop in her typical effervescent manner, singing the
praises of Ann Claire, a woman trained in the art of something called
"remote viewing."
While Elyse was hazy on the details, her impression was that it had to
do with psychic phenomena, much to Maddy's chagrin. A traditionalist at
heart, she'd rejected such "nonsense" most of her life, though Aunt Maria
regularly had her tarot cards read. She'd often report the uncanny findings
back to her doubtful sister and niece, both of whom would nevertheless
admonish her for wasting her money on charlatans.
Then there were the corrupt fortune tellers who inhabited the
Atlantic City boardwalk, luring unsuspecting patrons into their incensesaturated
boutiques, where they'd scare them out of their money with
horrid tales of hideous curses that could only be remedied by forking over
$200 to the "all-knowing" sage. It was a very old tale, one that held little
appeal.
But surprisingly, Madeline's negative perceptions were shattered upon
meeting Ann Claire that night, a serious businesswoman with a matter-offact
attitude and a confident demeanor. Dressed in a stunning purple suit
accessorized by chunky gold jewelry and cream-colored pumps, she
looked more like a financial analyst than a spiritual guru. During her 45-
minute speech addressing everything from reincarnation to the energy
fields surrounding every human being's physical body, Madeline hung on
every word, fascinated by the subject matter and the professionalism of
the presenter.
And when Ann supported her claims with newspaper articles and
other "hard" evidence, Maddy couldn't help but be impressed, regardless
of her earlier apprehensions. But nothing could have prepared her for
what unfolded next. Prior to heading back out to the parking lot, she
approached the psychic to say a proper goodbye and thank her for an
enlightening evening.
Upon shaking the younger woman's hand, Ann looked deeply into
her eyes and stated without hesitation, "You're still in mourning for your
grandmother and she died well over twenty years ago. And you're
harboring guilt over your handicapped brother. He's the middle brother
and you're feeling bad about leaving him behind."
Completely blindsided by these accurate yet shocking declarations,
Maddy felt her knees go weak as an astute and equally stunned Elyse
pulled out a chair for her. Once seated, an emotional Maddy retorted that
Louis was not the middle child, Lori was. An unfazed Ann responded, "I
didn't say he was the middle child; I said he was the middle brother."
"Oh my God, you're absolutely right," Madeline confirmed in a barely
audible whisper, feeling at once violated and awed. Everyone around her
shared a similar reaction, having intimate knowledge of her family and her
recent problems. They watched in absolute silence as Ann placed her
hands on Madeline's shoulders and pronounced her awareness of the
panic and anxiety disorder, along with an accompanying spiritual struggle
characterized by a nagging inferiority complex.
"Have you ever felt that while other people's lives progress, yours
never seems to go anywhere? Like you're constantly treading water?" Ann
inquired of her sincerely. Maddy nodded her head, too overwhelmed to
verbalize an answer. How could this woman, a total stranger, know so much about
her?
"Madeline, I am picking up on your grandmother's presence around
you. She loves you dearly, but she's holding onto you too tightly. Do you
have any idea why that is?"
"I-I think I do," Maddy admitted. "You see, I was born several
months after my grandfather-her husband-died. And it's like I helped
her overcome the pain by giving her something, someone else to think
about. She was a warm, loving woman and she doted on me constantly. I
remember her clearly even though I wasn't quite seven when she died.
"It was so awful; we were curled up on the couch watching a movie
when she suddenly went into heart failure, only none of us kids knew
what was happening. We saw her shivering violently and we ran to get
blankets to cover her up, made her tea, but nothing was helping. She just
kept getting worse and worse. My parents were in the neighborhood
visiting some friends and my oldest brother called them to come home.
"My dad immediately called for an ambulance and the last time I saw
her, they were carrying her away on a stretcher. I was devastated; she was
the only grandparent I knew. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't
think about her. Even now, I still miss her." Audrey handed Maddy a
tissue and placed an arm about her as she dissolved into tears.
"Ok, that makes sense," Ann went on softly, "but I am also getting a
message about incompletion, like somehow you never got to say goodbye
to her."
"Oh, well that's true," Maddy confirmed after taking a sip of water.
"Even though I begged my mother to let me go to her viewing and
funeral, she didn't think it was the right place for a child. So while
everyone else went, I stayed home with a babysitter. Looking back, I agree
with Mom's decision, though if it were up to me, viewings would be
outlawed entirely. What's the point of staring at someone's dead body?
It's barbaric. I've never quite figured out why people insist on having
them."
"Yes, your mother did the right thing," Ann affirmed. "However
because you never had the chance to properly mourn with other people,
you never let go of her and she never let go of you. So I recommend that
you hold your own private memorial service at home. You can light
candles, talk to her, write her a letter-whatever makes you most
comfortable.
"But you absolutely must tell her gently but firmly that while you will
always love her, she has to let go a little; she must stop clinging to you.
Tell her you will never forget her, but that it is ok for her to be at peace.
You will see her again someday. As long as you are here on this earth, you
have to be free to live your life and fulfill your purpose."
Maddy nodded her assent, actually looking forward to finally
honoring Nanny's memory in her own unique way. Then, overcome with
anguish, she confessed her frustration at her failure to fully overcome the
anxiety disorder, notwithstanding her embrace of just about every remedy
known to mankind.
"Have one private session with me and it'll be gone forever," Ann
promised with conviction. "We can talk on the phone or in person, it
doesn't matter. But I can assure you, if you are willing to give me an hour
of your time, you will never be plagued with this problem again."
She spoke with such confidence that a heartened Maddy eagerly took
her up on her offer, securing an appointment with the busy psychic
before walking out of the meeting. It was a decision that would eventually
usher in a brand-new existence, free at last from the oppressive yoke of
out-of-control emotion known as panic and anxiety disorder.