* * *
Saturday morning dawned bright and sunny as expected. After a
welcome night of restful sleep, Maddy propped herself up in bed with a
few fluffy pillows and spent several minutes in quiet prayer. Recently,
Mom had gifted her with a subscription to a nice little magazine called
Daily Word, and as she read the scripture quote and thought for the day,
she felt inspired. It was a simple pleasure to have this cherished time for
soul contemplation, freed from the obligation of Saturday rehearsals at the
studio.
After her reading, Maddy got up and popped a Leo Buscgalia tape
into her cassette player, listening to his distinctive voice and uplifting
message while she brewed her coffee and thought about the day ahead.
Though tempted to do nothing but lounge on the beach, a quick scan of
her apartment revealed the necessity of accomplishing some mundane
tasks as well. Somewhere along the way, she was going to have to dust,
vacuum and do the laundry.
By the time early afternoon rolled around, she'd finished her chores
and had changed into her bathing suit and cover-up. She was busily
placing a towel, a magazine and a few bottles of water into her canvas tote
bag when a knock at the door took her by surprise. Her heart lurched
when she opened it to find Kenny standing before her, smiling in his
typical fashion, dressed in shorts and a tee shirt. It bothered her that in
spite of all the pain he'd inflicted, her body still tingled at the mere sight
of him. Suddenly, she remembered the dream she'd recently had about
him breaking off his engagement.
"Ken! I must say, this is an unexpected surprise!" She endeavored to
remain cordial and calm, while keeping her hopes in check.
"Hey, how are you doing, Maddy? Can I come in?"
"Uh, I guess there's no harm in that," she replied lightly, offering him
a seat and a cold bottle of water. Was it her imagination or did he possess the
unmistakable aura of a defeated man?There was no sparkle, no luster in his aquamarine eyes, which
appeared to be lost in thought as he stared off into the distance. And as
he held the bottle of Zephyrhills in his hands, he leaned forward on the
couch as if grappling with an unspoken, internal conflict.
"Is everything ok?" she inquired, settling in at a safe distance beside
him. "You seem a bit preoccupied."
"Huh? Oh yeah, everything's fine. It's just that-well I guess I've
turned into my father after all," he sighed. Madeline wasn't quite sure
what to make of that statement, though it hardly coalesced with the
profile of a happily engaged man eager to exchange vows with his
beloved. What exactly was he trying to convey?"Oh," she responded softly, recalling the difficulties he and his dad
had endured in the course of their relationship. Though they'd seemed to
patch things up that New Year's Day at her house in Pennsylvania, Maddy
had no idea where things stood with them at this point.
"Well is that such a bad thing?" she asked.
Kenny turned to face her, staring deeply into her amber eyes, nearly
causing her to tumble to the floor.
"I hope the excitement comes back after Erin and I are married," he
confessed.
Why was he telling her this? Was he just trying to spare her feelings by pretending
not to be enthralled by the idea of marrying another woman? Or was he attempting to
get her to open up about her feelings for him-feelings she still harbored in the infinite
depths of her heart and soul, no matter how hard she fought to expel them?"Kenny, I don't know what to say," she finally blurted out.
"Madeline, do you ever miss our conversations, you know, the way we
used to talk? God, you were so easy to talk to!" He ran a hand through his
blond hair as he spoke.
"Well, I will admit Kenny that no man before or after you has ever
treated me the way you did. No one has come close to that level of
affection, respect and kindness." Her tone was wistful as her thoughts
turned to Jake, Jim, Gary and now, Mark.
"It was all you, Maddy," he insisted. "It was all because you were such
a joy to be around. You always listened without judgment; I could talk to
you for hours about anything!"
Visions of shared moments spent relating to each other while curled
up together in the comfort of his waterbed flooded her memory. She
could almost see the moonshine filtering down on them from the skylight
as they pored over his Navy photo albums, or kissed and caressed each
other tenderly while their favorite love songs played in the background.
"Oh Kenny, I'm not sure what to say," she sighed, rising to her feet
and walking over to the window, where outside, a group of rollerbladers
glided along the sidewalk, talking and laughing. She almost fainted when
she felt Ken's arms slip around her a minute later, but didn't put up a
fight when he turned her to face him.
"I guess our timing was off," he commented sadly as a tear trickled
down his cheek.
"I-I guess so," she agreed softly, resisting the urge to cry. But when
he pulled her close to him in a tight bear hug, she couldn't hide her
anguish as the water began to flow. Ken buried his face in her hair and
neck, mourning what might have been with equal passion. They held each
other for what felt like an eternity, contemplating a mishandled past and
an uncertain future.