—Of course I don’t want to get on that crane. I hate that thing. It’s flimsy. It moves in the wind.
—So you’re not scared of the alien robot that just destroyed an entire city. It’s your fear of heights that’s getting in the way?
—Oh, I’m scared of him too. I’m scared of just about everything right now. And it’s not so much my fear of heights that bothers me when we’re in that stupid cage, it’s the claustrophobia. Though it wouldn’t hurt to put a piece of plywood on the floor so we can’t see through.
—Vincent, we’re going up fifty feet, and you get all shaky before we even leave the ground. What would you do if they assembled her standing up, instead of flat on her face?
—I’d teach college.
—All right, EDC. Can you hear us?
[We hear you loud and clear, Kara.]
Great. We’re in the nacelle—
—That’s not a nacelle.
—Shut up, Vincent. We’re in the nacelle with…What’s your name?
[Lieutenant Martin Crosby, ma’am.]
We’re in the nacelle with Lieutenant Crosby, from…You’re Army, right?
[Yes, ma’am.]
…From the British Army. All right, Lieutenant, we’re almost there. When we get off on the robot’s back, I’ll open the outer hatch, and I’ll clip this rope ladder to that steel bar here. We’re entering the control room through the ceiling. When we’re both inside and I tell you to, you’re gonna pull the ladder up, and close the outer hatch behind us. Did you get all that?
[Yes, ma’am. I just want to say, I hope you kill those sons of bitches.]
I appreciate the vote of confidence, Lieutenant, but we’re not here to start a fight.
[They started it. Kill them all, ma’am.]
…
We’re here. Open the gate.
—Kara. Ladies first.
—Oh no. Age before beauty. […] Are you down? Vincent! Are you down?
—Yes! Yes!
—Well, can you step aside so I can…Thank you! ALL RIGHT! LIEUTENANT, PULL THE LADDER, CLOSE THE DOOR, AND GET OUT OF HERE AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
—Charming fellow.
—What did you expect? His city was destroyed. You’d be pissed too if they turned Montréal into a sandbox. Can you help me with my harness before you strap yourself in?
—Have I ever not helped you before? I get that he’s angry, but he should know we don’t stand a chance against that thing.
—Why would he? We’ve been telling them Themis is invincible for ten years.
—Well, we can’t wipe out a city in ten seconds like it did. Here. Snug, not tight.
—Thank you. Now why aren’t you strapped in already?
—Ha. Ha.
—EDC Command. We’re almost ready to go. Vincent, you’re ready? He nods in approval, so I’m…pushing…up with my arms, knees forward Vincent. And…we’re up! They told us to follow the highway—what’s it called?
—A13, for a while.
—That one—right up until we hit the dirt field the alien made. We might have to step on that highway in a few places. Our apologies to British road workers. EDC, can you tell us how far we are from target?
[About thirty miles.]
Is this Rose?
[Yes, Kara. You should be there in a half hour.]
Hi, Rose! I just hope Vincent can keep up the pace.
—We’ll be there in twenty minutes.
—Nothing more predictable than a man’s ego. We’re moving. Rose, do we have a death toll yet?
[We don’t know. A lot.]
Probably better we don’t know, anyway…So, does anyone still think there’s a chance that robot’ll calm down when he sees us? No one here is raising their hands.
[I won’t lie to you and say anyone here is overly confident. But perhaps seeing something familiar…]
Rose! You thought sending us was stupid before the Army stepped in. I don’t think our odds have gotten any better now that it destroyed half of London.
[Sending tanks was a bad idea. No one denies that.]
I don’t really care if they deny it or not. What I’d like is for those suits to come up here and take our place. But there’s no point talking about it now. We’ll be walking for a while. I don’t think we have anything to say that’ll last thirty minutes, so we should have some music for you in a sec. Vincent, what do we have for our road trip?
—Kim Mitchell.
—Who the hell is Kim Mitchell?
—You don’t know “Patio Lanterns”? My mom really liked Kim Mitchell. Used to be my date music when I had someone over for dinner. A long, long time ago.
—Oh God. You mean girls. So Rose, we leave you with some bad eighties music, courtesy of a pubescent Quebecois. E I can just picture you at fifteen. You had a mustache, didn’t you?
—Thank you, Kara…
FILE NO. 1443 (CONTINUED)
MISSION LOG—CAPTAIN KARA RESNIK AND VINCENT COUTURE, EARTH DEFENSE CORPS
Location: London, England
—SHIT! I can’t see anything. Vincent, are you all right?
—I’m OK. Just…disoriented. What about you?
—I think I dislocated my shoulder. What the hell was that?
—I don’t know, he must have seen us through the buildings.
[Vincent, what happened?]
He shot at us, Rose. That’s what happened. And I can tell you that wasn’t a push. Whatever he shot us with knocked us on our ass about a hundred feet from where it hit us. In case there was any doubt left, he is not happy to see us. I don’t think we’re gonna shake hands.
[Where are you?]
I don’t know. We’re on our back. Lots of tall buildings. I see one that looks like a pickle. We’re not that far from where the damage stops. Must be two or three miles from where he’s at.
[GPS has you in the financial district. That building must be the Gherkin. Did you see what he hit you with?]
I didn’t see anything. Not the robot, especially not the shot. All I saw was a sea of dirt ahead of us. I’m telling you, that robot is pissed. It’s still shooting at us! I can see flashes of light above our head every three seconds or so.
—Vincent, what do you say we get out of here?
—And go where? I’m happy where we are now.
—We’re lying down in the middle of Downtown London.