My mother gently pushed me on the swing. I leaned my head back in comfort as the cool breeze lightly blew through my hair. It made me smile. Just a little bit at least.
Being at the park was the only time that I felt free. I wasn't allowed to get out of the house often so when I did I always wanted to go to the park. It was like an escape away from the prison that I lived in.
My father usually stayed home drinking his life away in his stupid recliner chair. He gave us one hour of freedom every couple of months. That was all that he would spare.
“Isn’t this nice, Avery?” My mother questioned. “It’s such a beautiful night.”
I leaned my head back far enough to look into my mother’s eyes. Sometimes she was there and sometimes I could see she was fading away like my father. Tonight she was there. She was present and beautiful as ever.
I shook my head back and forth and allowed myself to laugh. "Mother can you-"
Suddenly the swing came to a stop and someone jerked on the left chain. I held my breath, knowing deep down inside that it had to of been my father.
"Henry, you should just go back home. Okay, dear." I could tell that my mother was afraid. She always was, but stayed with him because she loved him too much. I didn't understand. "You've been drinking too much," she whined. Her whole body shook in fear as she watched him, her black curls falling down to cover her blue eyes.
My father pushed my mother out of the way. I watched as she crumbled to the ground and her head bounced off the dirt. "Don't you tell me when I've been drinking too much," he slurred. "If I want to push my little girl then I will. You can't stop me. No one ever can."
My mother pushed herself back to her feet and cowered away from him. She watched with wide eyes as my father started pushing the swing.
I could smell the foul stench of the booze that flowed off his breath every time that he breathed. It made my stomach ache.
"Henry, don't push the swing so high. She's only six," she yelled, her voice unsteady "I...I don't want her to fall."
My father let out a wicked laugh. "I'm going too high? I'm going too high? I'll show you high, Joyce," he said, as he pushed the swing higher.
I just sat there and cried. I cried like a little sissy. That's all that I could do. I was helpless. "Daddy, please stop," I cried out. "I can't hold on. Daddy-"
No longer able to hang on, my hand slipped off the rusted chain and I went flying across the park landing on my right arm. A pain shot through my arm as I heard a loud snap.
I grabbed my arm and sobbed as my father stood there and laughed. "Get up girl."
I stopped the swing and wiped away a stray tear. I looked down at my right arm and rubbed it from the memory. It broke in two places that night. I never understood how someone could've been so cruel. I was his daughter he was supposed to love me. Take care of me. He never did and my mother was still with that piece of shit. My life could’ve been different. I could’ve been different.
I jumped off the swing and then turned back around giving it one last fleeting look. I would never be able to go to a park and not think about that moment. It was ruined for me. That idiot ruined everything that could've been good.
I glanced up into the night sky, realizing that I should probably get home before it got too dark and cold. I was already shivering and my jacket just didn’t seem to help like it should've.
The sky was a beautiful sight on the way home as I stared up at the bright stars. It helped to somewhat ease my mind and make me see that some things in the world could be beautiful.
Once arriving back to Jace’s house, I decided to sit out on the porch and take it all in. A new job, a new place to stay, and new people in my life. Everything was changing and I didn’t know how or what to think. I sat there for a while feeling lost.
I stood up, getting ready to reach for the door, when suddenly Jace stepped out onto the porch. He leaned into the door and smiled at me. “You’re back." He looked a bit relieved as his muscles relaxed.
I smiled back and rubbed the back of my head, somehow blushing from his presence. "Yeah I just felt like taking a walk. I was just thinking." I sat back down on the steps not knowing what to say next. Was he still mad? Was he ever mad? I wasn't quite sure.
He looked down, eyeing the steps curiously, before walking over to sit next to me. His bare arm brushed against my jacket, making me shy away, as I remembered our encounter from the other night. I didn't want to get too close and somehow fall into him.
He looked down at our arms, eyes dark, as he shifted. "Did you enjoy your walk?" he questioned. He looked me in the eye for a breath taking moment before quickly looking away.
I let out a deep breath blowing my hair out of my face. "Yeah…I mean." I paused to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat. "My parents... never mind" I shook my head and closed my eyes. I wasn't ready to tell anyone quite yet.
He ran his hands through his hair and let out a deep breath. "Whatever it is, you're here now," he said. "Everyone deserves a chance at happiness."
I looked over at him suddenly getting a strong urge to reach out and touch him. However, I didn’t. "Well, are you happy?" I questioned, hoping that he would give me an honest answer.
He gave me a forced smile and turned the other way. I couldn't really read his eyes. "Not as happy as I hoped to be," he whispered.
I reached over and placed my hand on his shoulder. Then I quickly pulled it away. I looked down at my hand and scooted further away from him. "Why haven't you been in a relationship before?" I questioned without thinking.
He smiled and stretched, his arms looking warm and firm as he held them behind his body. He didn't even look bothered by the chill of the night one bit. It almost made me want to curl up in his arms and hide from the cold chill. "I haven't found that special someone yet. I want to know that I really want to wake up to this woman and fall asleep next to her every day of my life. Until I feel that then I'm not willing to give my heart away." He looked down at the porch and played with the rocks by his hand.
"Oh…" His answer made me speechless.
"What about you," he questioned. "Isn't there any guy at all that you've just wanted to spend your time with? Someone to hold you and love you, someone to talk to?" He looked me in the eye waiting for an answer, his green eyes looking soft and genuine.