Rush chuckled. “I know the feeling. Come on inside. I’ll grab your bags.”
I climbed out of the Range Rover, and we headed into the house. The smell of dinner was in the air, and it made my stomach growl. I hadn’t eaten all day, and I hadn’t been sure I’d be able to stomach anything tonight, though the delicious smells from the kitchen were giving me second thoughts.
“Aunt Nan!” Nate called out with pure joy in his voice as he ran toward me. He looked like he’d grown three inches since I’d seen him last. That made me sad. He wasn’t a baby anymore. He didn’t smell like a baby but like a sweaty little boy. I bent down and wrapped him in my arms as he held on tight.
“I got two new crabs today!” he told me gleefully.
Rush groaned behind me. “We’re going to turn into a crab farm if you keep bringing home new ones.”
Nate nodded vigorously, like that was the best idea he’d ever heard. “Yeah!” he agreed.
Giggling, I kissed his forehead. “I missed you.”
He kissed my forehead with a crooked grin so much like his father’s. “I missed you, too.”
“I missed you more,” I told him.
“I missed you to the moon and back” was his quick response.
Laughing, I squeezed him tighter.
“We got fish to eat,” he informed me. “And mac and cheese.”
“Momma caved and made you mac and cheese, huh?” Rush asked, sounding amused.
“Yeah. I like it better than that spinch stuff.” He replied with a wrinkle in his small nose.
“You’re still eating some of that ‘spinch’ stuff,” Blaire said as she walked into the room. I lifted my head to see her smiling at her son. Then she met my gaze, and her smile remained just as sincere. “Hello, Nan. I’m glad you’ve come to visit. He’s been asking about you. You’ve been missed.”
Not one word she said sounded forced or fake. Blaire was genuine. She had a huge heart, and she forgave without fault. I understood why my brother loved her. I was glad he’d fallen in love with a woman like her. Even if I had hated her.
“She’s gonna make you eat the spinch stuff, too,” Nate warned me.
The small laugh that came from inside me felt good. I hadn’t felt like laughing today, and I’d been sure it would be a while before I laughed again. Being near Nate tonight was exactly what I needed. I could forget my failures and inadequacies. I wished I could say I could forget Gannon, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to do that anytime soon. He’d made a mark I would feel for a long time.
“How about you and I both eat the ‘spinch,’ and then I’ll take you for ice cream if Mom and Dad say it’s OK.”
Nate’s eyes lit up, and he beamed at me. “Deal!” he cried out, and his arms squeezed my neck tightly.
I glanced up at Blaire to see if I was in trouble, but her smile told me it was OK.
I wanted what she had. I’d never get it, and a part of me hated her out of pure envy. She was everything I’d never be. She had a life I’d never know. My nephew and niece would be the only kids to show me unconditional love. My chest ached, but I pushed those thoughts away. Feeling sorry for myself was pointless. I knew that already.
Major
The dozen red roses in my hand had cost more than one hundred dollars. I hadn’t counted them as an expense, because I didn’t want this to feel like part of my job. This apology was real. Even if she didn’t know the difference between my work and what was genuine, I did. That mattered.
Her car pulled into the driveway, and I stood on the front step I’d been sitting on. I knew the moment her eyes met mine. Even with her dark sunglasses on, I could feel the heat from her glare. She didn’t want me here. Even after Cope had hurt her, she wasn’t ready to come back to me. To forgive me. But I would fix that.
She sat for a moment in her car, and I began to wonder if she would back out and leave without a word. I hoped the massive bouquet in my hands would persuade her to step out and at least talk to me. I mouthed the word please, knowing she could see my face clearly.
Her shoulders lifted and fell with a sigh, and she slipped off her sunglasses and opened her car door. Success. Now for the next part of my plan.
She sashayed up to the steps with an annoyed look in her eyes, and I almost wanted to laugh. I’d missed that haughty look. I’d missed a lot about Nan. She entertained me, and even when she was at her bitchiest, she had this soft spot underneath that not many people ever got a glimpse of. I was lucky. She’d let me see it.
“Why are you here?” she snapped, not even glancing at the roses in my hand.
I held them out to her. “I’m sorry.”
She didn’t reach for them. She ignored them completely and rolled her eyes at me as if I was a child in need of a scolding. “I don’t want damn roses. I don’t want your apologies. I don’t want you sitting on my front steps again. Ever.”
Ouch. I hadn’t been prepared for angry Nan. “You said we could be friends. What happened to that? Doesn’t that mean you have to stop hating me?”
She held up a hand to stop me and let out a hard, bitter laugh. “Stop it, please. You don’t want to be friends. You’ve made that clear. But I don’t want to hear your pathetic bullshit. You want me because you think you can’t have me. When I was yours to take, you treated me as an option. I was there when you were bored. I was there when you wanted company and there wasn’t a better choice. You liked knowing that I wanted you. That I waited for your calls. That I was there when you crooked your finger my way. You loved that I was enthralled by your pretty face and your charm. It was easy for you, and I was easy for you. But I’m over that now. I don’t ever want it back. I’m missing nothing by not having it. I’m free of the pull you had on me and the heartbreak you constantly put me through. I do not want you, Major Colt. This flower shit isn’t what friends do. Call me next time, don’t just stop by.”