“Fuck off.”
Knox laughed. “So, I, for one, am happy about the changes. The students like it; the instructors like it. We’re expanding in a positive way. ABC is a great fit. The promotion company is a brilliant idea.”
“Do I sense a but?”
“Two things. Is something going on with Okada that I should know about since She-Cat has been here for so long?”
“Something going on . . . how?”
“You tell me. I have to wonder with you flipping Black Arts on its head, if the reason you’re sharing control here is because you’re about to take control somewhere else. Namely in Tokyo.”
Ronin leaned back in his chair. “If that’d been part of my game plan, I would’ve clued you in. My grandfather hasn’t brought up my ascension to the Okada throne for more than a year. The last three or four times I’ve spoken to him? We’ve discussed Japanese sports and American politics. As far as why Shiori is still here? No idea. If I ask her outright, she hedges. If I call up my grandfather and ask him, he’ll think I have an interest in the company. So I’ve let it be.” Ronin’s mother probably knew what was going on, but they hadn’t connected and it wasn’t the type of conversation to have over e-mail.
“I wish she’d let me be. Man, she rides my ass about everything,” Knox grumbled.
He refused to get in the middle of Shiori and Knox’s multitude of personal issues. “You said there were two things. What’s the other?”
Knox set his feet on the floor. “It’s been mentioned to me that you’ve been to Twisted only twice in the last five months.”
Ronin knew being a member of a sex club who didn’t indulge in many sexual activities made him an anomaly. He’d joined because women in the BDSM world were open to rope play.
“Are you done with the place?”
“I don’t know. It seemed . . . wrong to be there last time.”
“Does Amery know you went there during the weeks you weren’t together?”
“How do I tell her that I bound someone else? Not because I was teaching, but because I thought I needed to find the balance I was missing?” Ronin felt idiotic talking about this shit, but Knox had asked, and it wasn’t like Ronin had other guys to talk to. “I remember thinking about the wrongness of it. I almost had to call it off. As it was, I had to cut the session short. That’s never happened to me in almost two decades of tying.”
“Because Amery is so much more to you than just a rope model, Ronin.”
“I’ve been sexually involved with my rope partners and not sexually involved with them. It’s always been about aesthetics, skill, sensuality, and connection in the moment,” Ronin said defensively.
Knox just stared at him.
“What?”
“You’re not an idiot. Even I know you’ve never been in love with any of your rope partners. The difficulty of the pattern, the amount of body-to-skin contact, the sexual pull—you can no longer compartmentalize any of it because it’s all there when you bind her. And it’s there only with her. The fact you were so off balance during those six weeks the two of you spent apart had nothing to do with you missing shibari or kinbaku in your life. It was about you missing her.”
Ronin was truly stunned by Knox’s insight.
“Maybe you’ve been binding so many women over the years because you’ve been looking for someone like Amery. Now you’ve found her and it’s changed you. That’s why it felt wrong to tie someone else.” Knox popped to his feet. “I’m guessing your demo days at the club are over.”
He wasn’t sure how he felt about that even when he suspected it was true. Not that he and Amery had discussed it. That was just another thing hanging over his head. Was he ready to give up public bondage demonstrations?
Ten minutes later, Shiori waltzed in. “We’re still on for tonight?”
“On for what?”
“The sporting goods trade show at the tech center. You agreed to meet with some of the equipment guys for possible sponsorship for Black and Blue Promotions since Blue is teaching tonight, remember?”
“I must’ve blocked it out. Aren’t you teaching tonight?”
“Knox is taking over my class.”
Ronin gave her a skeptical look. “How hard did you have to beg him?”
“Not at all. I outrank Godan. It’s my responsibility to provide him with additional teaching opportunities.”
Jesus. He’d get an earful about that.
“You want to ride with me?”
“I’ll meet you.”
“Okay. I’ll be there around six. South entrance.”
Shiori hesitated in the doorway.
“What?”
“Have you heard from her yet?”
He shook his head.
“You will.”
“Do you know something I don’t?”
“Just that she can’t stay away from you any more than you can stay away from her.”
He hoped to hell Shiori was right.
• • •
AFTER two hours wandering around the vendor spaces, Ronin was ready to leave. And the first place he intended to stop? Amery’s. Her silence made him crazy.
He’d just pulled out his phone to text Shiori when he heard, “Hello, Ronin,” from behind him.
Every molecule in his body seized up.
No. Fucking. Way. She couldn’t be here. Had to be a hallucination, or he’d fallen asleep and was dreaming of hell.