He told me about talking to her and how he really felt like she needed time to herself, to accept how far she’d come. It was all too much for her, and I was scaring her with my intensity on top of it. Thing was, I didn’t know how to be any other way with her. She made me a little crazy.
“You taking Maggie to school?” I asked him, knowing the answer.
He didn’t say anything at first, but finally he gave me one small nod. “I’ll eat at my house. The rest of the guys are up and dressed, waiting on Mom to come feed them. I think they left you hot water.”
“How do I handle today?” I asked him before he could leave the room.
He turned to glance back at me. “You give her space. You realize you can survive without her to lean on, and you make it through.”
He didn’t get it. He’d never been in love. What did he mean by space? Was I just supposed to ignore her? So I asked him, “How do I give her space?”
He shrugged. “You know, just leave her alone. Let her breathe.”
“Ignore her?” I asked. My voice was hard and angry, but I couldn’t help it.
He raised his eyebrows. “Yeah. I guess so.”
I stood up and threw my pillow across the room. “Fuck that! How the hell am I supposed to ignore her, Brady? Huh? I can’t ignore her. I’m in love with her.”
I’d never said that aloud before. Not even to her.
“If that’s so, then you need to find a way to back off. You’ll lose her if you don’t.”
“I’ve already lost her.” The words sliced through me as I said them.
“No, you haven’t. I’ve talked to her. Remember? I know what she’s thinking. All you did was scare her. She believes she’s just your crutch and nothing more. That’s why she’s doing this. I can assure you, she has no idea you love her.”
I should have told her. “If I tell her—”
“She won’t believe you. She’ll think you’re telling her whatever it takes to get her back. You’re going to have to let her go.”
I’d never be able to let her go. But I could pretend that I had if it’s what she needed from me. She’d been there for me when I needed her. It was time I did whatever I had to do to make her happy. If stepping back was it, then I’d do it.
Asa and Gunner both stayed until I left the house, trying to get me to ride with one of them. But I wanted the freedom of having my truck. When I finally pulled out of the drive and headed to school, they followed behind me. It was like they had to be sure I was going to show up for class.
I timed it so I was walking in just as the last bell rang. Now we would all be late to first period. But I hadn’t asked them to wait on me. I just couldn’t handle going to my locker and seeing Maggie. I wouldn’t be able to ignore her, and I didn’t trust I wouldn’t start begging her right there in front of everyone.
“I got Mr. Tremble first period,” Asa said with a grin. “He won’t count me late,” he added as he ran past me.
Gunner came up beside me. “We won’t get counted late either if we hurry.”
I didn’t mind getting a late slip in exchange for putting off going to class. But I knew Coach would have me running suicides after practice if he got word I was late. That was protocol for a player being late to school.
“I need to grab my notebook,” I told Gunner.
He shoved a notebook at me. “Use this one and run,” he said before breaking into a run himself.
I followed behind him. When practice was over, I wanted to go home and be alone. Last night I hadn’t been given room to think. They had all meant well, but being by myself was what I wanted right now.
Gunner opened the door to our first-period class and stepped inside. Mrs. Sentle glanced up at us and frowned, then motioned for us to take a seat. “Glad you could join us, boys” was all she said.
I sat down beside Gunner, who found an empty desk first. He glanced at me and smirked. “Told ya.”
“Hey, West,” a blonde I didn’t know said as she turned to smile at me.
Gunner chuckled beside me. “The news you’re a free agent again is out.”
I ignored them both. If I was to prove to Maggie that I loved her, then girls like this one weren’t going to help. I shot Gunner an annoyed glare.
He just laughed harder. Asshole.
I Don’t Like Attention
CHAPTER 45
MAGGIE
This was something I had to face sooner or later. I couldn’t avoid West. That wasn’t possible or fair. Not going to my locker for the first three periods had been tough. It was time I faced reality. Although, he wouldn’t actually be there this time because of his schedule, so I wasn’t really facing anything yet.
Moving through the crowd, I could feel people watching me. It had been that way all morning. Several girls had called me a bitch and a whore. The general consensus was that I was a horrible person for breaking up with West just after he lost his father. Part of me agreed with them.
When I finally reached my locker, I opened it quickly only to have it slammed closed by a hand with long red fingernails. The metal door just barely missed my hand as I jerked it back. “You are low-life scum,” a female voice hissed in my ear. I knew that voice. I had expected her to confront me at some point today. I just hadn’t expected her to do it like this.
I turned to face Raleigh. She was glaring at me with something close to triumph.
“You’re a coldhearted bitch,” she said loud enough for everyone around us to hear. People got quiet, and I knew we had an audience. That was just going to make her worse.
I didn’t respond to her. She was angry because she cared about West. She wanted to be furious with me and to have a right to be. This was her chance.
“Nothing to say? What? You’re gonna be silent again?” she asked, then shoved me in the chest until I fell back against the locker behind me.
She pointed her finger in my face, and I wondered if she planned on clawing me with it next. “You weren’t good enough for him. You’re a freak. Just. A. Freak.”
Right before her pointy nail touched my face, she was jerked back.
“Why don’t you go take your crazy bitch demonstration somewhere else?” Nash said, moving her away from me and putting himself between us. “I think Maggie has seen enough to know that you are indeed fucked-up.”
“You’re taking up for her? You’re his friend!” Raleigh yelled.
“I’m one of his best friends. And even if Maggie wasn’t one of my friends too, I’d be doing this for him. Because West would lose his shit if he’d seen this. Attacking her ain’t getting him back, Ray.”
“She used him!” Raleigh’s voice carried down the hallway now that everyone had gone silent to watch.
“No, Raleigh. She saved him. When no one else could. Now take yourself far away from her before this bat-crazy episode you just had gets back to him. Because he’ll come for Maggie first to check on her. Then he’s coming for you.”
“You’re wrong. He’ll need me,” she said, sounding convinced.
I hated that the idea of West with her or any girl made my stomach twist in knots. I had been the one to end what we had. He would move on. And when he did, I would have to deal with it.
Nash shook his head, then turned back around to face me. The concern in his eyes almost made me cry. I hated drawing attention to myself, but today it seemed like just breathing brought attention I didn’t want.
“You good? Bitch is loony as hell,” Nash said with a roll of his eyes.
I managed a nod. I wasn’t good. But that wasn’t Raleigh’s fault.
“You look pale,” he said, frowning.
“I don’t like attention,” I whispered, afraid people were still listening to us.
He sighed. “Well, babe, you are going to have to deal with it for a while. I’ve heard what they’re all saying. That’s why I came to find you. See if you were okay.”
“Thanks,” I said through the lump in my throat.
“Get your things. I’m walking you to your next class. I’ll have Brady know you need an escort after this one. Between us, we should be able to keep you covered for a while. At least until they find something else to focus on.”
I wanted to tell him that I didn’t need that. That I could take care of myself. But I couldn’t. Because if he hadn’t shown up, Raleigh would still be in my face, yelling at me while everyone watched.
“Okay,” I replied, and turned back to my locker.
“He’s going to be furious when he finds out about this. When he comes to find you, know his anger isn’t at you. It’s because he thinks he’s caused this to happen to you. He wants to protect you. He’s not going to take this well.”
A tear escaped, and I reached up and wiped it away quickly. If only his need to protect me was something more. Something deeper. Not simply his need to have me beside him so he could cope with things. I wanted to be more to him than someone to lean on.
“Ready,” I said as I tucked my books close and fell into step beside Nash.
He didn’t ask me questions or mention West. We walked in silence to my next class. Once we were there, I thanked him and went inside. Eyes locked on me, so I dropped my gaze to the books in my arms and found a desk in the back. If I were going to make it through class, I needed to be where as few people as possible could look at me.